The Clare Witch Project – part 2

The Clare Witch chased me through the woods carrying a big stick. She did not speak softly though. She shouted at me to go to the lost woodshed deep in the forest.

Upon arriving at the woodshed, the Clare Witch decided it was time to enact the Clare Switch Project!


Actually, while this was all done in fun, I really did give Clare a good reason to want to switch me shortly after these photos were taken. We were headed back home after an already not-so-short hike to the lost woodshed, when I got us turned around. Clare and I were chatting away at high speed and I wasn’t paying as much attention to which path to take to guide us back to civilization. There are no marked trails, just deer paths, and so each one starts to look the same after a while.

Our fun hike was soon taking on the eerie air of a slasher film. It was late afternoon, and while the sun was still out, it was low on the horizon and threatening to set as we desperately tried to figure out where we were. We both had our cell phones, but reception was poor and both our batteries were down to just one bar. Every time we’d take what looked like a familiar trail that would point back to home, we instead kept ending up at this one creepy house plopped in the middle of nowhere. We chose not to go up and knock on the door right away (hey, what if Michael Meyers lived there? — eta: oops! I meant Michael Myers, the psychokiller, not Mike Meyers the SNL guy!), but tried to keep the location in mind just as a last resort.

Thankfully the pictures we had taken as we hiked served as our proverbial trail of breadcrumbs. Judging from which way the sun was shining in the pictures we got a general idea of which way to head and then looked for landmarks that would match the ones in the photos. Once we were able to locate the rock Clare used as a makeshift surfboard, we knew we were on the right path.

And after our nice long hike, Clare enjoyed a refreshing drink from the artesian well. Thankfully the Clare Witch stayed deep in the woods and we got home safe and sound.

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Clare Comes To Cowtown

Clare Fonda is on her way to my little cowtown for a visit and a Punished Brats shoot on Sunday. Unfortunately, Clare called me this morning to let me know she’d missed her flight and had to be booked on a later one. Seems that her bed was toasty warm and the couple extra minutes she thought she’d spend relaxing turned into half an hour or more. That coupled with limited parking at the airport led to her plane leaving without her. Tsk tsk.

Isn’t oversleeping and arriving late a punishable offense? Well, while I don’t have any intentions of spanking her, perhaps she can take any and all corner time due to me. Yes, I like the sound of that.


Well, several people thought Clare ought to have toasted buns for arriving late … does this count?