For those of you that are stateside, I hope you’re enjoying your Memorial Day weekend.  I got a little jump on the holiday when the hubby and I headed down to LBI (Long Beach Island) for the day on Thursday.  It was absolutely gorgeous, but surprisingly chilly.  The ocean breeze made it about 15 degrees cooler than it had been back in my little Cowtown.  I shivered in my shorts, but loved taking in the beautiful surroundings on such a clear, sunny day before the crowds flocked to the beach. 

I’m holding off on making a regular blog post until after the holiday - both because I’m sure many of you are out enjoying the long weekend with friends and family and because my own vanilla plans have me short on time.  I have an on topic spanking post that I’ll put up in a few days and I’m tossing around an idea for a longer, more personal post about blogging that I hope to have composed sometime late next week.  No promises on exactly when the latter will be ready though as the warm sunny days are making it harder and harder to stay glued to my computer. 

Any successful relationship requires good communication, compromise, and compatibility.  A spanking relationship is no exception even when the pairing may be as temporary as a brief play session at a party.  If you have too many contradicting preferences and neither person is willing to bend, the experience probably won’t go too well.  And if there is no verbal communication regarding limits or at the very least, perceptible body language cues, there’s an even greater likelihood that things will end on a sour note. 

It’s a give and take relationship - far beyond the giving and taking of the actual spanking.  It’s probably rare that two people will be on the exact same page as one another 100% of the time.  Maybe the spankee wants just a little bit longer or firmer spanking than the top is comfortable in giving.  Perhaps the spanker would like to use an implement that the spankee is not fond of.  Maybe one person is really in the mood for some spanking play while the other simply isn’t feeling it at the moment. 

But when it comes time to play, and say for this example that both people are relatively compatible players, who has the final say on the smaller details and preferences; the spankee or the spanker? 

In my case, I dislike any swats delivered to my thighs.  Although I’ve received many punishments both on and off camera that have included spanking, strapping, and caning my thighs, I’ve grown fearful of it after having some lingering negative side effects and also find it tricky to hide the resulting marks and bruises when it’s shorts and swimsuit season.

But if a spanker that I’m playing or working with greatly enjoys delivering a few swats to the back of the thighs, isn’t he (or she) just as deserving of having his needs met?  Yes, it’s the spankee that experiences the physical discomfort, but there is an emotional satisfaction that is of equal importance to both.  Is the spankee always the one to set the rules and limits or does there need to be some flexibility in order to avoid completely topping from the bottom?  

Do I really like to get spanked?  The simple answer is yes, but of course there never truly is a simple answer.

Even as a little kid I was fascinated by the concept of spanking, but I sure as heck didn’t like getting them.  On the rare occasion that I did get spanked growing up, it was anything but enjoyable.  It was frightening, embarrassing, confusing and of course, very painful.  My experiences didn’t halt (and note, nor did they foster) my interest.  I still sought the thrill of reading a passage about corporal punishment in books and became flustered when catching a reference to spanking on TV. 

I’m not sure that much has really changed since I was a kid.  If I were to receive an unexpected, non-consensual spanking today, I would be terrified and humiliated.  But I continue to seek that little thrill I get from spanking references and even seek consensual spanking experiences of my own.  These consensual spankings allow me to experience first hand a heightened version of the charge I’d get from viewing a spanking photo or movie, hopefully free of abject humiliation and fear for my safety.

I like many, many aspects of the consensual spanking.  I love the anticipation, the interaction, the sass, the struggle, the sensation of a particularly thuddy swat, the redness, the warmth, the floaty glow, the possible marks, and the dull ache to remind me of everything else I experienced every time I try to sit down for the next day or so. 

When it comes to the actual spanking itself though, I can’t say I love the pain.  In fact, I think it’s much closer to hate than love.  And yet I need it.  I absolutely need a good deal of pain to be inflicted during a spanking or I won’t be able to experience all of the other joys that surround it.  There’s little to anticipate if my spanking won’t hurt.  Probably won’t get very red or have any lingering sensations if my bottom is only rubbed and patted.  And in the moment, as much as I hate the pain, that’s exactly what I need for the spanking to feel right and real to me.

I hate the sting, I hate the burn, I hate the heavy swats that promise to launch me into next week.  I truly hate it when I start to feel scared and wonder how much more I can take because the pain is so intense that I’m feeling a little queasy, my palms are sweating like crazy, and my face is as red as my bottom.  I truly hate the pain as it’s happening, but it’s essential.  It allows me to kick, fuss, brat, react genuinely, and then experience all of the other positives that come along in making a fantasy a reality … and then basking in the red bottomed afterglow. 

So do I like spanking?  Yes, very much. 

I leave tomorrow for some vanilla vacation time to visit my family.  I won’t be back until late next week and while I may have the chance to check in here and there, I probably won’t have much of a regular blog update until I’m back home and settled in.  So I’m going to leave you with a few tricky questions about spanking terms that were raised by Linde in response to the Defining Bare post.

How many smacks have to occur to make it a spanking?  If you get smacked once, is that a spanking or were you just given a swat? 

If a paddles is used, is it automatically a paddling or just a spanking with a paddle?  Does the size of the paddle make a difference?  

What constitutes a whippin’? 

Mr. Owwwl, how many licks does it take to call it a spanking?

Here’s my take on the terms. 

Spanking:
I don’t think one smack makes for a spanking.  I think the term implies repetition and so if only one smack is delivered, it’s only a swat.

Paddling:
In my opinion, when a frat paddle is used in standing or bent over position, it’s a paddling.  If a smaller paddle is used OTK, then I think of it as a spanking with a paddle.   

Whippin’:
In Linde’s original question, she mentioned the term whippin’ being used in the south to refer to punishment given with a switch; interchangeable with the term switchin’.  When I hear the word, I tend to think of punishment given with the belt, not the switch.  Oddly enough, I’d probably least likely associate it with an actual whip although that definitely would be an accurate description. 

On a little side note, I’ve also heard the term whuppin’ sometimes used as a varation of whippin’ or used to describe other very thorough punishments.  I’m not crazy about this term.  For some reason it conjures images or excessive brutatility even though the term isn’t necessarily meant to convey that.  I picture someone having been defeated and beaten terribly in a fight as opposed to someone who received firm discipline exacted on their bottoms only.  Weird how one slight variation, one little change in a vowel, can make that much of a difference in verbal association.

Anyway, enough rambling from me.  Let me know what your interpretations of the terms are.  It’s always really interesting to see others’ takes on terms based on their own opinions and experiences.

Recently I received an email asking if my resistance to bruising also indicates a similar resistance to pain.  Does a spanking hurt less nowadays than it did when I first started out?

While my bottom no longer gets marked as easily as it did when I first began exploring the world of consensual spanking, I haven’t noticed a major difference in how I experience the pain.  I’ve always had a decent tolerance and willingness to accept firm punishment, but I feel every bit of the discomfort.  Even after many repeated spankings, no protective callous has formed (thank goodness!) and there’s been no deadening of the nerve endings so every swat stings and burns just as it always has.  I still have very sensitive days in which only a few playful swats can have me jumping around and wondering how it is that I manage to get through full spanking scenes.

But maybe my tolerance has increased slightly over time.  Positive experience brings trust that even an intense spanking delivered by a safe individual will leave me sore but not permanently injured.  Feeling safe makes it a tiny bit easier to endure the pain - it’s the difference between taking a ride on a roller coaster after being fully strapped in and secured versus hurling myself off a cliff in a wheelbarrow - one is thrilling, one is downright terrifying.  But feeling safe and willing only improves tolerance, not resistance as with the bruising.  I may be able to handle the pain better, but it doesn’t physically feel any different.

For those of you that are spanked, have you noticed any changes over time in how firm a spanking you can take?  If so, have you found that you’re able to take more while experiencing the same amount of pain or do feel that your sensitivity changes when you are spanked regularly?

Some of the first true signs of spring …

blooming blossoms

chirping birds

 I’ve never seen a chubbier robin!

and for me, my first case of poison ivy for the season.  I think I may have tempted fate by joking about it the other day.  I knocked on wood, but it seems I did myself in by frolicking in the forest in a t-shirt and shorts … or less.  While on a hike late Monday afternoon, I paused to do a few nude photos (see below and my current avatar) by the pond and unfortunately, I must have tossed my bra on top of a poison ivy patch in a mad dash to disrobe and run down to the water.  Oops.  When I saw the doctor today for a Prednisone shot, I chose not to explain how I wound up with poison ivy on my rib cage and left boob.  I’ll leave it up to her imagination how that happened. 

My husband has promised me a spanking for not being a bit more careful when out hiking and running around in various states of undress outdoors.  It struck me as funny to be spanked for such an unusual offense.  Even though it’s very real, would it make a believable storyline if it were used in a scene?  I’m not sure.  But then I think often in real life play we engage in spanking for reasons that go beyond a standard scenario.  What are some of the more unusual reasons you have been spanked, given a spanking, or at least should have? 

 I had so much fun this weekend!  Sarah Gregory was in town to do a shoot with us at Punished Brats and we got to hang out together and make a long weekend of it.  The weather was amazingly summer-like with lots of sun and temperatures in the upper 80s.  We spent as much time outdoors as possible soaking up some rays by the lake, hiking through the woods, and just chilling on the neighborhood swingset chatting away at a mile a minute.

We also had the chance to do lots of outdoor photos.  I really enjoy playing behind the camera and shooting with someone as lovely and easy going as Sarah makes it all the more fun!  We did a few casual vanilla photos by the lake … and even though they were vanilla, I noticed more than one fisherman craning his neck to get a better view of Sarah in her pretty sundress!     

And of course we also managed to sneak in a natural in nature series at one of my newly discovered remote locations.  Isn’t nature a lovely sight? 

While in a quite spot in the woods, we stopped for some fairytale dress up.

But funny things happen in the enchanted forest sometimes when storybook characters collide …

I have a bit of catching up to do after a long, fun weekend, but I hope to post several of Sarah’s photos to the members’ bonus gallery tonight.  For more about this weekend’s PB shoot, be sure to keep an eye on Sarah’s blog and Pixie’s Previews - only a few preview photos are up now, but I’ll have lots more this coming weekend.

In a recent email exchange, I was chatting about my latest Punished Brats scene, Caught Skipping.  My email pen pal pointed out that Veronica didn’t spend much time spanking me over my bikini.  I explained that actually the scene was supposed to be a straight to the bare spanking, but that we got so caught up in the moment, Veronica ended up smacking my covered bottom during my intial struggle before she had a chance to yank the swimsuit down.  I was a little bummed (ha!  No pun intended) only because I’d wanted the spanking to be a true “bare bottom” scene in which the viewer could watch my pale, unmarked bottom begin to turn red with the very first swat. 

This brought up the topic of what constitutes a bare bottom spanking.  Seems simple enough, right?  A spanking on an uncovered behind.  But being an overanalytical, fussy creature, I wonder if I could call what I received a bare bottom spanking.  Yes, I did end up bare, but I didn’t start out that way.  If even a single swat is first administered to a clothed bottom, does that void declaring it a bare bottom spanking or need one only end up naked from the waist down at some point along the way to count?  What is your opinion?  How do you define the term?

The conversation also sparked the recurring topic of thongs.  If a spankee wears a thong and it remains in place throughout the spanking, is that still a bare bottomed spanking since the cheeks are completely uncovered?  I can see both sides - the cheeks are bare, but the spankee isn’t truly bared.  Argh!  My brain hurts.  I’m just going to stick to panties (they’re more comfortable to me anyway) and not worry about it, but I’d love to hear your feedback on this point too.

Last night at the Strictly Spanking NY party was so much fun!!  Jules, Mike, and Nicole put together an asbolutely wonderful get together.  Not only was there good food, good music, and great people, but it was the little spanking related details that made me think - wow, well done!  Each small semi-private playing area had not one, but two chairs available.  That way you could go OTK and still have your upper body supported if you wished to.  I found this very helpful with my bad back and because a lot of the time I spent playing privately involved as much pleasant conversation as it did actual spanking - much easier to try chat while propped up a bit than shouting face down, inches from the floor. 

I’m getting ahead of myself though and skipping right to somewhere in the middle of the party, so let me back up for a moment and start with our first adventure of the day, on the train.  Lily Anna and I rode the NJ transit line into the city together and as we were quietly chatting about what that party might be like and just catching up on life in general, one of the train conductors came up and complimented us on our painted toenails.  He said lovely cherry red (Lily Anna) and French manicured (mine) toes in sandals like that should be up on the seats.  He flipped the back of the seat in front of us away, reached down, picked up our feet, and placed them on the seat and continued to admire our toes as we giggled and exchanged looks with one another that said “is this for real?  No one is going to believe us.”  The conductor then took out two tickets and punched them to spell out the word DIVA and handed one to each of us.  He said with this Diva ticket, it gave us permission to display our pretty feet on the seat.  Neither one of us have ever experienced anything like that before — we thought maybe we might run into someone that had a foot fetish at the party, but we didn’t expect it on the train.  It certainly made for an interesting ride in!

We had a small table set up to promote Punished Brats where we offered our DVDs and discounted membership sign ups.  Lily Anna, Sarah, David, Richard, and I all took turns manning the table while the others took a few minutes to enjoy some play time. 

As you can see, we fit in lots of play time, actually!

I got to see Sarah for a bit at the party, but we weren’t able to catch up as much as we’d like as we were both pulled in a lot of different directions.  But I’m looking forward to getting to see her more for a longer visit during her Punished Brats shoot next week.

Lily Anna did her best to cool off her burning buns by sitting bare bottomed on one of the metal chairs. 

I’m surprised she wanted to sit at all!  We were both very sore by the end of the night as we happily had gotten the opportunity to play with several people.  My bottom was well spanked and caned!  I loved every minute of it and am very grateful for all of the perfect gentlemen I had the pleasure of meeting and playing with.  This morning I am still very sore and while the redness of the hand spankings has faded, the set of 6 cane marks right along my sit spot are now glowing in comparison to the surrounding paleness.  Even just rolling over to scoot out of bed was a painful reminder of last night’s fun.

It wasn’t all promo and play though.  One of the things I enjoyed most was just getting to meet and talk with so many really cool people.  I was incredibly nervous about going to the party.  All of my life long insecurities and shyness come bubbling to the surface when I am faced with a crowd.  What if no one talks to me let alone wants to play with me?  What if people mistakenly interpret my shyness and intimidation as snottiness?  What if I say something really dumb, wear the wrong outfit, forget someone’s name, or any of my other gazillion worries come true?  Thankfully my worries for the most part were for nothing.  I got to meet so many wonderful people that I wanted time to slow down a little so I could mingle more and not feel rushed.  I already can’t wait to go again and hopefully get to pick up where we left off.

Getting home was as much of an adventure as getting in, but not quite in the same way.  There was no conductor to prop our feet up for us.  In fact, there was no train at all! 

We had to scoot out of the party a few minutes early in order to catch the last train of the night that went as far as the station Lily and I had parked at.  Leaving is hard though and we ended up getting out a bit later than we had intended (can’t pass up those last few swats, hugs, and goodbyes!).  No problem though.  We’d catch a cab and make it back to Penn Station in plenty of time - or so we thought.  Apparently on a busy Saturday night, getting a cab isn’t so easy and it took us over 20 minutes to finally flag one down.  We reached the station at exactly 11:15.  Unfortunately our train left on time at 11:14.  Richard Windsor was wonderful though and helped us work out a travel itinerary that would eventually get us back to our cars and he then waited an hour and a half with us so he could make sure we actually made it this time; especially as this was truly the last hope of any sort of connecting trains to Cow Town.  As you can see by my posting here, I am home again, safe, sound, and sore … and very, very happy! 

Big thanks to Jules, Mike, and Nicole for the wonderful party!  I hope to stay in touch with the many new friends I met last night and see you all again soon.

This week is just flying by!  Both vanilla stuff such as spending the Easter holiday with the in-laws (errr … fun) and daunting home improvement projects (even less fun) as well as more pleasurable spank-related work in preparation for the SSNY party and our next shoot have all kept me hopping. 

I did manage to sneak away for a few hours today to enjoy a perfect spring day.  I explored three new natural resource areas soaking in the sun and scouting out potential locations for future photo shoots.  I thought I had discovered a really cool, private spot at my first stop, but no sooner had I made note of the spot, a high school boy zipped by on his bike.  Clearly it wasn’t as private as I thought.  Far better to find out when doing the initial scouting than to literally be caught with my pants down.

My second stop was underwhelming, but the last one seems pretty promising.  I hope to have the chance to explore more of it tomorrow and maybe try out a few shots.  Winter seems to be finally be over and it’s hard to resist the temptation of acres and acres of nature to explore. 

Well, I must get crackin’ and do as much work tonight as I possibly can so that I can have time to frolic in the forest tomorrow.  Sorry for the fairly short random post, but I’m sure I’ll be back on track with lots of spanking and vanilla fun to share with you after attending this weekend’s Strictly Spanking NY party.  :)