Top on my list are Tara and Piper.  They are both fiesty spirits that look innocent yet can be so naughty!  Professor Pixie would mind having them as wayward students in her class. 

Truth be told, I’d also be thrilled to have a chance to spank Audrey, but she is a formidable switch and it looks like payback would hurt.  Plus she seems like a ton of fun to get in trouble with so I fantasize about creating some sort of major hijinks together and when inevitably caught, I’d blame it all on her.  I’m a good friend like that.

If you could develop the series theme or scenario for me with one of these lovely girls, what would it be about?  Remember, it has to be just one lucky (or perhaps not so lucky) lady!

 As I thought about it, it occurred to me that Supermoon Saturday would make an excellent spanking holiday.  A super spanking for your super moon until it’s glowing it’s brightest?  Absolutely.  Appearing it’s biggest – optional.  And to think that this year the supermoon falls on Cinco De Mayo, that could make for one fantastic time! 

I’m really liking the sound of this festive event.  Who’s joining me?  Bare your supermoon or your partner’s supermoon if you’re in!

Ok, ok.  So it didn’t QUITE happen that way.  But I did get to room with Alexis and we had lots of laughs chatting about spanking and everything else under the sun as we lay on our pillows in our pajamas.  And Richard did get me a Naked brand orange juice.  It’s all in how you spin the tale.

I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to attend the party at all given how I’ve been feeling lately plus the recent surgery so I didn’t post anything here on my blog about my attendance one way or another.  I cut my party plans short by more than a day and was still trying to decide if it was wise to make the trip down come Friday morning.  I felt crummy but my bags were packed and I was going to be so disappointed and guilt stricken if I missed out for a second year in a row.  I really wanted to see friends, prove that I’m still alive and kickin’, and thank fans of my blog and Punished Brats for their continued support of our sites.  Plus I had a sexy nun outfit and an awesome 70’s go-go girl dress I’d purchased back in December just for this occasion and you know how much I love an opportunity to dress up.

Although I couldn’t play this weekend, it was still so great to see lots of folks on Friday night at the vendor’s fair.  I got to exchange lots and lots of handshakes and hugs and chat with lots of lovely people including friends that live much too far away like Erica Scott and Sarah Gregory.  Punished Brats was not able to vend this year since I couldn’t commit 100% to attending and David also suffered a setback with his health which prevented him from making the event, but it was really nice to be free to mingle and check out the wares for sale by other vendors.  I was particularly impressed by a bookcase that transforms into a piece of spanking furniture complete with multiple hooks for hanging implements and a bar with leather wrist restraints for keeping the naughty one in place.  Although I did not buy the bookcase, I did purchase a stingy OTK paddle from the seller as a memento of the weekend.

I had to retire early and lasted only through half of the fair.  It was hard to pull myself away, but my body was didn’t really care what I wanted.  It was time to dash off like Cinderella.

Sadly, I felt even worse by Saturday morning and a call from my doctor regarding my latest set of blood work confirmed why.  I had to go home to rest and seek medical care, but since it was only 30 minutes before my debut as a nun in the reformatory school skit, I made the stubborn decision to wait to leave until afterwards.  Dressed in my sisterly finest, I tried my hardest not to grin like a Cheshire cat as I bared witness to naughty reform school girls getting their bottoms well spanked.  Finally I had been rightly cast as the innocent angelic soul that I’ve always said I am!  Being so saintly must be hard work though as I was beyond spent afterwards.  Richard and Alexis helped me get packed up and tucked in my car and I headed home a day earlier than planned.  While I was super bummed to miss out on the other festivities that were planned, I was very thankful to have made it for half the weekend of fun with my fellow spankos.

I normally try to keep my blog updated, fun, and on topic, but I’ve been on overload lately with advocating to get the care I need and of course not feeling well while doing so.  To be honest, the joys of spanking have not been foremost on my mind as I think is only natural when feeling like crud!    But don’t worry, I do anticipate getting back into the swing of things with ease once I get through this hiccup.  And all is fine with Punished Brats as I continue to enjoy editing and coming up with storyline ideas for shoots.  I have even just completed a really cute Pixie’s Previews from the most recent shoot with adorable Piper Hill and Veronica and which I just posted.

Anyway, didn’t want you to think I’d disappeared or had forgotten about my blog.  I’m still here and as always, feel free to send your Dear Amber questions and I’ll be happy to answer them when I resume regular posts.

Mary Jane – her first scene will be coming to the members’ section this Friday!

Tara

Piper

Audrey

Let’s find out how good your are at matching pretty faces to naughty bottoms!  Can you figure out which bottom belongs to which girl?

I’ll post the correct answers in the comments section on Friday.   

And to see all of these naughty bottoms get the punishments they deserve, check out www.Punishedbrats.com!

**I’ve posted the correct answer in the comments section**

I’ve gone through periods of time where I only wanted to read spanking blogs, watch spanking content, became impatient because others weren’t replying on discussion boards as fast as I was reading, and desperately wanted to set up in person play after a taste of the real thing. In the past I’ve been known to stay up too late playing online and yes, I’ve been guilty of keeping tabs on the spanking world from the office place.

I think it’s only natural for our interests to wax and wane whether they are spanking related or vanilla, but although I have a tendency to get hyperfocused on a matter, I find I’m happiest if I strive to keep a healthy balance of interests. Why? Burn out!

Burn out is the flip side of the insatiable desire and can be sad and a bit confusing. At best, the great interest in spanking is replaced fully by a sudden interest in something else entirely. In a not so favorable case, there is nothing to take its place and everything seems a bit dull and unappealing.

I’ve had a similar thing happen with food sometimes. I’ll have a new food or dish and fall in love with it. I’ll start craving it constantly, indulge often because nothing else satisfies, and enjoy it to the absolute fullest. And then I’ll have it once too often and not want to even look at another piece for a long time. Then sometimes I’ll struggle for new dietary staples especially if my fridge or pantry is stocked up with my previous obsession! I’m best off keeping a better variety while still enjoying my food of the moment to the fullest.

I keep a good balance of interests these days – spanking fun and a variety of vanilla hobbies such as photography, gardening, crafts, and games. What do you like to do to keep well rounded? Do you ever struggle to not let the love of spanking occupy too much of your time?

We all like to have our needs and desires met – play with a certain implements, a particular style of role play, perhaps more real discipline and not fantasy play.  Maybe you’ve considered encouraging a vanilla friend or partner to engage in spanking in the hopes that they’ll try it and love it.  But how accomodating are you to requests from others?

Would you engage in a parent/child spanking scenario if that wasn’t your thing?  Would you be willing to switch roles, go from a top to a bottom or bottom to a top, if your partner wanted to explore the other side of things?  Would you be up for trying out other fetish interests, incorporated into spanking or not, like bondage, wax play, cross-dressing, tickling, foot worship or any of the other zillion kinks out there if your friend or partner asked you to?

I’d like to think I’d be fair about things and consider suggestions with an open mind.  I’d at least not judge someone for whatever it was that pushed their hot buttons.  And while I might be willing to push beyond my comfort level for someone I had a relationship with, I can’t say I’d be up for anything and everything.    Things that I fear might cause true harm and totally scare me (like choking or knife play) are beyond my level of flexibility.  It’s probably not fun to play with someone having a panic attack anyway.  I’ve played roles that I’m not comfortable with but would have to decline anything that I have a strong negative visceral reaction to as I’d probably end up having waves of regret washing over me repeatedly for a long time. 

What are your limits with regard to flexibility?  Are you up for exploring new things with a partner if they asked?  Would you ever do “an exchange of fetishes” and engage in fetish play that if not of interest to you in effort to get the other person to engage in spanking play?

Today I have another Dear Amber topic and I need your help in providing advice in this matter.

Last year, you – via “Dear Amber ” – told me I was not too old to seek a spanking partner, and gave me some places where I could post ads.  I did post some ads, with no success.  So, my question is, what do women want ?  I know you are a happily married woman, and not seeking a play partner, but – with me not being Mel Gibson in a movie – I repeat… what do women want ?   What things should I include in an ad, not include, etc.  Some suggestions would be most welcome.

Oh, if I had the answer to that one, I would be writing more than a spanking blog!  I’d be publishing a guy’s guide to understanding women and be a zillionaire. 

But seriously, this is a tough question to answer because every woman (like every man) is an individual.  One may be seeking a daddy / daughter type play relationship and delight at mention of the search for a naughty little girl.  Another may be totally turned off by the concept and click off as fast as possible.  Some may want someone young, others want an older player.  Some want just a discreet spanking only  relationship, and others want spanking to be an aspect of a full committed relationship.  Impossible to say what women as a whole want because everyone is different.

That said, I can share a few things that I like and a few things that are major turn offs for me personally.  Not sure if that’s of any help, but it might be entertaining none the less.  

•  
  •  I appreciate when an ad or message is written well.  I’m not going to be a grammar freak or anything, but messages that consist of “hey, wot r u in2?” are not standing out in my mind for the right reasons.
  •  I like to know a bit about the person posting the ad.  Not just what they are seeking, but what is he like?  What are his interests? 
  • If posting / sending a photo, I prefer to see a face rather than the collection of every giant, scary implement the guy owns.  Oh, and please don’t post/send pictures of your man bits.  Gives the wrong impression.
  •  Whatever the post or message, just make it genuine.  It’s scary to put yourself out there, but you want the person that does end up responding favorably to do so because of you, not a false persona you create.

Rejection or a lack of a response can be disappointing.  Heck, it can be spirit killing.  It may make you question, what am I doing wrong?  Why doesn’t anyone like me?  But finding a compatible play partner online is not always the easiest thing to do.  That compatible person needs to be seeking at the same time as you, needs to be willing to answer an ad, needs to be searching on the same site as you, and be located within whatever geographical area you’re looking.  It truly may have nothing to do with you or your approach.  Give it time.  Consider trying additional methods of meeting a playmate.  Chat on forums which can be a great way to get to know others.  Maybe attend a local party if there is one in your area.  Network through spanking friends. 

That’s my advice for whatever it’s worth.  Dear Amber unfortunately cannot provide a fail proof method on this topic.  Blog readers, please post your advice particularly if you have ever posted or responded to an online ad.

True self-spanking I think is a very hard feat to accomplish.  First there are the mechanics of it.  You can’t really see the target area well without chasing yourself round and round in a circle like a dog in persuit of his tail.  You can’t get a good full swing with the limitations of the shoulder joint.  And for most of us, it’s hard to deliver swats with the same intensity as someone else would because there is that instinctual desire to avoid pain.  But there are those occasions when you may wish to test out an implement – if you’re a top with a new toy it’s good to know how intense the implement is before using it on another person and if you’re a bottom, you may be curious how tough your bottom is or how evil an implement you’re doomed to receive in the future will be.

I’ve tried to test out some implements on myself both out of curiosity and in wanting to have an idea of what my intended recipient would be feeling.  I’ve learned that while it’s easier to slap the side of my thigh, that’s not a good testing zone.  The thigh is way more sensitive and I bruise very easily there.  Heck, I get enough bruises on the sides of my thighs from carrying those little handbaskets around the food store.  And one day I thought it would be interesting to find out how the thick woven rope dog leash would feel and I had a shadowy loop shaped mark for a month.  Lesson learned. 

Don’t try this at home, kids!

So now I reach back to smack my bottom only for test purposes.  It’s hard not to flinch since I know when the swat is going to be delivered and if there is some sting to it, I’ll often throw down the implement after two swats!  But if I know that I’m going to be receiving a set number of swats with an implement (say a particular spoon or paddle) and I want to see how I’m going to fare, I’ll try to match the punishment.  I’m not sure if that helps or only makes things worse in the end.  I like to think of it as training for the bottom Olympics helping me to gain confidence and build endurance.  Of course sometimes I end up just scaring the snot out of myself as I struggle to take a fraction of the swats even when self-applied.  Perhaps thankfully, the real experience is never the same as a self-applied spanking.  Even though a spanking delivered by someone elese may be more intense, the interaction allows for a much greater endorphine reaction and adrenaline rush to help get through.  And of course you also have the begging, pleading, pouting, eye-lash batting tactic to fall back on that may soften the heart of the implement weilding spanker and yet is never very effective or logical for a self-spanking.

Have you ever tried to deliver a few swats to yourself, either to test out an implement you hope to use or one that you anticipate having used on you?  How did you manage?  Were you able to deliver a painful spank?  How would it compare to a real spanking that you’d deliver or receive from anothe person?

I received a great question from a blog reader:

How do you and other spankos feel about the whole notion of being required to address their disciplinarians as “Sir” or “Ma’am” during and immediately after a spanking? It’s very common on some sites like the Real Spankings suite of sites, less so on others, including Punished Brats. I can only recall seeing you address a disciplinarian as “Sir” during a spanking once, and it seemed a more spontaneous response than a required one.

I’m not opposed to addressing a disciplinarian by Sir or Ma’am though I do sometimes struggle with the term if I don’t have a natural connection to the spanker and don’t feel truly submissive to them. Then it is as difficult for me to say Sir as it is for me to take the physical portion of the punishment. Thankfully, this is rare. On the flip side, when I do have that connection, it only adds to a hot scene if I can say Sir or Ma’am to show my respect when feeling truly penitent.

I know of some bottoms that will only say Sir or Ma’am to the disciplinarian in their real lives and out of respect to that relationship, will not address anyone else by that title even in scripted scenes. And some I have chatted to have expressed very strong feelings that they will not address anyone as Sir ever within the context of spanking play.

We don’t require the use of Sir or Ma’am in every scene at Punished Brats. I do recall using the terms more than once though and I know when our writer/director Eric was still with us, he’d quite frequently have line suggestions with the terms. We definitely don’t use the terms as often as Real Spankings, but then our scenes tend to feature more bratting and backtalk prompting discipline rather than utmost respect at all times.

For bottoms out there, how do you feel about addressing a spanker as Sir or Ma’am?  For tops, do you often ask a spankee to address you as such?  And for those that enjoy watching spanking videos, do prefer when the terms are used or is it not a required hot button for you?