Here are two questions I received for the Dear Amber column.  I have two others that I might make into individual posts or include in the next DA.  If you have a question you’d like me to ramble on about, please email me!   I’m always looking for questions and topics that interest you.

I have been interested in spanking all of my life, but have only considered myself a spanker and at one time really disliked the idea of my being on the receiving end. However, recently I have been going through some difficult times with motivating myself and have come to desire being spanked myself. I have a bit of an issue though because my wife is very submissive and is my spankee. Can you think of any ways that I can bring up switching roles with her? Also, my mindset seems to be changing and I worry about becoming “too” submissive. Did you have any mental difficulty feeling comfortable with being a switch?

If your wife has always been very submissive and has not shown any signs of interest in switching over the years, I’d definitely approach this matter cautiously. I wouldn’t even teasingly start suggesting she take you over her knee at this point. She may react strongly. I’d see if you can casually ask her how she feels about switching (maybe start off asking if she’d ever consider giving even a few swats to someone) by starting a conversation about your shared love of spanking and working a question or two in there. Maybe talk about a topic you saw on a forum, particularly if it can easily lead to a discussion on switching or experimenting with role reversal. Take her lead. If she is absolutely dead set against topping and can never envision herself in that role, you can’t force her and expect a rewarding experience for you both. You can only plant the seed and see where it goes.

I definitely had difficulty feeling comfortable at first. As I mentioned in my interview with Someone’s Going To Get It, I would feel a bit annoyed when I was told repeatedly to top when I only felt submissive. I didn’t want to be forced into something that I not only didn’t enjoy, but didn’t feel confident in doing. I believe having that sense of confidence is key as the spanker is the one to lead the dance essentially. I needed to wait until assuming the role of a switch appealed and selected a role for myself that I was comfortable with. I started with a revenge switch spanking with Lily Anna which made it an easier step as we were equals having the opportunity to spank one another rather than me feeling the pressure of being the only spanker when I’d only ever been a submissive. I needed to come around in my own time and then take incremental steps until I felt ready to assume the role of a top. I think the role of submissive still comes more naturally to me, but I am enjoying exploring the world of switching.

When you do private sessions do you prefer natural interaction between you and your spankee or do you prefer certain role play scenarios?

I generally prefer role plays because it gives me a reason to spank, gives me an idea of what to say, and I think the build up dialogue and interaction to the actual spanking can be one of the most exhilarating parts. It often adds to the fun as we each come up with creative verbal responses. I’d say the vast majority request role plays, but even when it’s a tried and true classic scenario (boss/employee, teacher/student), no two have ever been the same.

That said, some people prefer to be spanked just for the sake of being spanked without any scenario. That’s ok too! Those sessions tend to involve more talking about the experience, testing out implements or positions, and more opportunities to check in for relative comfort and take breaks as needed.

I think the toughest sessions are a combination of the two. No set scenario or reason given for punishment, but still a disciplinary tone. I’ll need to evoke an upset tone and enforce discipline, but I don’t know why so it makes it tough to lecture or even know what an appropriate level of punishment is. That’s super rare though.

Although I prefer role plays, I will always go with the preference of the spankee though and do my best to meet his needs.

And want to know what my advice is for how to kill a zombie or why Bubblicious is better than Bubble Yum?  Then check out the super fun interview I did with Dave of Cherry Red Report.