Blogging had to take a backseat for a little bit as I tended to vanilla matters, but I’m back again. 
I recently saw a commercial for an online dating service where the guy claims the 9 gazillion point personality questionnaire used by the service makes them superior to other means of meeting a partner. He says if he met someone through a soccer website, it would have to be the World Cup all year long for them in order for them to have any connection and keep the relationship alive. Hmmmm.
I understand the company is trying to market themselves and highlight what makes them unique, but I find the paid actor’s logic a bit flawed. I’ve been fortunate enough to meet many, many fellow spanking enthusiasts through parties, shoots, and of course, online. We start out knowing we only share this one common interest – spanking. Over time we learn if our viewpoints and roles in spanking play are compatible. And since we humans are not one-dimensional, sometimes we hit it off on other levels as well because we have other shared interests and passions. Just because we meet through the world of spanking doesn’t mean it has to be Spank Fest all the time … or does it?
Do you enjoy or even seek to meet spankos that share other common interests or do you prefer to keep things a bit more separate in your life? Vanilla friends for vanilla interests and spanking friends for Spank Fest only?
Cautiously mixing that chocolate and vanilla goodness
I take caution in mixing my vanilla and spanking worlds since I am not open about my interest to absolutely everyone I know, but I love when a spanking acquaintance blossoms into a well-rounded friendship. It gives us more to talk about and it can even enhance the spanking dynamics. How about you?
January 19th, 2012 - 4:18 pm
Pixie,
I am definately i favor or a more diverse relationship than just spanking…I find that having things in common with my partner makes her a more interesting person as well as opening avenues for discussion and possibilities for an even closer relationship. This can carry on beyond the spanking interest we both have in common, and the friendships made can remain even if we both eventually go separate ways. One young lady of my spanking acquaintance eventually moved on and got married to another ( a vanilla, unfortunately for her..) but we still send cards to each other on holidays and we still care about each other’s welfare….
Best regards..
K
January 19th, 2012 - 4:55 pm
As in all social matters of my life, I appreciate budding friendships more so than a rapid, “Hey, let’s meet RIGHT NOW, I’ll spank you,…maybe F@!$ you, if you want!” LOL!
I totally appreciate blogs and spanking social networks for the luxury to connect with like minded people and to pursue spanking partners who MOST fit into my preferences. When that happens, I most definitely welcome deeper friendships steered AWAY from spanking activities. And I couldn’t agree with you more that one who does this still has to be careful about integrating friendships among non spanking friends each may have.
When it comes to Facebook, I only accept friendship requests from people who are very good friends or friends of friends-NO work people or relatives are on my list. This gives me more liberty to kinda “put it all out there!” with people I can trust.
And NO KIDDING about how the deeper spanking friendships enhance interaction among ourselves. Because of this success for me, I find that I am even LESS patient than usual when it comes to engaging or being friends with spankos who have practically nothing in common with me. It’s like, “NEXT!”
January 19th, 2012 - 8:05 pm
There are different kinds of relationships in life, so if it was my option, a purely spanking one could be good. A closer, broader relationship would be much better, both for the friendship and for the spanking.
January 19th, 2012 - 11:23 pm
I saw the same stupid commercial. I think someone needs to help them with their marketing. Anyway, I used to think spanking was a rare interest but as I get older I am starting to realize that more women are into spanking then I first thought and it is actually becoming (or always had been) more mainstream, however as a male you must display dominant traits in order to pull this out of a girl. So many girls do not even discover this as a turn on until it is introduced to them. So main stream life and spanking life can mix as long as its done in the right manner.
January 20th, 2012 - 7:34 am
Pixie interesting post,yes i have other interests as well ,reading books ,bird watching as well as reading and viewing spanking and chatting with other spankos such as your lovely self ,love and spanks from Tim xxxxxx
January 20th, 2012 - 2:54 pm
Pixie
As you know I seperate, need to and respect all boundries of those who do as well.
Hugs
January 20th, 2012 - 4:32 pm
Tough question. It’s hard enough to find someone with similar interests and sensibilities on the normal day to day items such as who you are where your going. But then after having those considerations met and needing to broach the subject of having spanking as an interest and to be possibly be considered “wierd”, or having to deny your interest for the other person is daunting indeed. What to do? Give up a potential mate or give up the ‘fetish’? (as if that was going to happen over a long period of time). While I am 99% conservative, to give up the other 1% would like giving up 1% of your body. You could do it, but I don’t think I’m going to be cutting anything off any time soon LOL!
Anyway, Pixie, I think your asking this question is unfair since you have it all and probably will never be faced with it yourself. Everyman’s dream of beauty, sensuality, business sense, along with having a husband who supports you is a rare combination indeed. Enjoy it. For the rest of us we can only feel our way along and hope to find someone like minded on ALL levels.
January 20th, 2012 - 8:00 pm
Pixie,
Many of us with an interest in spanking have met each other online and forged relationships that may have lasted for a little while or a long while. The interest that drew us together was a mutual interest in spanking. That may have brought us together, but it doesn’t define us, in my opinion. I am fortunate to have met a small number of women with whom I share an interest in spanking and with whom I’ve continued to feel a strong bond over time. But that interest alone would not have sustained a longstanding relationship. As you stated, we are not one-dimensional beings. We have other interests and issues that are important to us. If, for example, a woman whom I met had a passion for spanking but who had vociferously different points of view about politics, social issues, and any number of other life issues, we could not sustain the relationship. Compatibility between human beings is complex. I’ve had an interest in spanking all my life, and it’s an important part of who I am, but it doesn’t altogether define who I am.
January 21st, 2012 - 7:43 am
Pixie very nice Pixies previews vid with young Joelle a new girl brat very nice and great to see you in action once again ,look forward to the full scenes when they play ,love and spanks ,Timxxxxxx
January 22nd, 2012 - 12:08 am
Hey Pixie-
I have found that in my personal life it is best to leave my spanking life out of my vanilla life after a rather embarrasing attempt to bring another female into my other world. We had been good friends for a long time and still are, even flirted with one another and I had told her I was a writer and was thinking of writing a story about her and would she like to read it. She of course was flattered but when she got to the part of her spanking me, she wasn’t so flattered. She has four girls all teenagers of her own, and she politely told me she just wasn’t into that sort of thing- even though she used CP on her girls when everything else failed.
So I dropped the subject and other than having to take a few embarrassing jokes from time to time from here all is been fine. I know just share my other side with those who I have meant on line and with my hubby. I have another close girlfriend who lives in AZ who was at one time a DOM but no longer wants to pursue that, so I am still looking for another woman to have some spanking fun with. It is just hard because I live in the bible belt (here is South Carolina) but I hold out hope that one day I will find someone.
So I say it is best to not mix the two until you know for sure that person has your same tastes.
January 22nd, 2012 - 9:28 am
@ Alexandrea – I know about the “bible belt” and that thing hurts! Yeouch!
January 22nd, 2012 - 2:42 pm
Pixie, You say “I love when a spanking acquaintance blossoms into a well-rounded friendship.” The one time( so far) that I’ve met you was for a private session. In other words, I was “on the clock”. As much as I’d like to talk about other things besides spanking, such as your nature photography, I can’t justify the expense for not focusing on the issue at hand.Since you don’t get together afterwards,see your rule #6, that avenue is closed. So for us I guess the vanilla and chocolate are on two different cones.
January 22nd, 2012 - 6:56 pm
There is a difference between casual play, especially at a party, say, and private sessions with a professional. Once a pro is seen, there isn’t going to be any real friendship, depending on how friendship is defined, because of the professional/client relationship. I have just run into this problem and misunderstandings have happened because of it and other issues as well.
Pixie, you might want to address this sometime just to deal with any confusion on this subject. It is so easy for us to want friendship from those we encounter as well as from the pros we happen to see.
January 22nd, 2012 - 7:10 pm
Hmmm … I don’t know about that. I have become friends with some that I’ve sessioned with. No, we don’t hang out after the session, but usually it will develop from email interaction before and / or after the session. And like any other means of meeting (vanilla or otherwise), it takes mutual interest and perhaps some chemistry to click. Then again, I consider some folks friends and I’ve never had the chance to meet them face to face. Our only interactions have been via email and yet we form a friendship that may have started because of the common love of spanking but then we found other commonalities. Perhaps it’s my definition of friendship that confuses things.
January 22nd, 2012 - 11:49 pm
Pixie,
There are some people that I haven’t met, too, but I consider them friends. I think there are different levels of what we call friendships. Some are definitely closer than others because of the levels of trust and also the chemistry. We tend to be closer to one person than another even though we may be friends with with both. I guess there are pros and then there are, well, pros. Each handles things in their own way. I would like to hear from some other pros out there (I see you as a pro at what you do) on the subject of friendship. A good question would be if you develop friendships with those you see, and if not, why not? Might be interesting.
January 23rd, 2012 - 4:21 am
I’d like to add that as a Bottom who has sought professional Tops, deeper friendships can and HAVE developed for me through those sessions over a lengthy period of time. It’s true, too, for me that meeting other like minded people is a better gauge as to how deep I feel our friendships are as opposed to infrequent email contact and NO intentions of meeting. This is for me, though. I have developed fondness for Spanking site friendship members, but I don’t have the level of trust I feel towards those I either see, call or email on a much more regular basis.
In one instance, I sessioned with a great top who was the utmost professional and made sure I had a fabulous time with her. She also made it clear she didn’t encourage pro/client friendships outside of work. That is fine, too. It wouldn’t prevent me from seeing her again, I just know she’s not on my list to vent to about work, being sick, bad dates, etc.
January 23rd, 2012 - 6:59 am
pixie nice vid with lovely Lorraine being spanked David ,she ia little cutie girl,love and spanks ,Tim xxxxxx
January 23rd, 2012 - 7:00 am
by
January 23rd, 2012 - 9:39 pm
It isn’t easy to find spanko friends because it’s such a private interest. To discover others who are like minded you have to open yourself up. That is scary.
January 24th, 2012 - 8:57 am
Pixie
I agree with you and would like to have more crossover. I ve also had pro sessions where we hung out afterward or went out for a drink off the clock and it was very interesting to get to know them in a vanilla setting.
January 28th, 2012 - 7:51 am
well to me i can be friends with people who into spankings and not into spankings. but if i was friends with you casue of spanking intrest we had or if i did a session with you i would consider u a friend and some one i can go to get spanked or talk to you about spanking and other intrest we have. i understand u not being able hang out after a session but i may wonder if you liked me or not, same can be about any female i meet and get spanked by iwould feel same with them too. i mean i understand with people like you spanking is not only thing you model do and your all not getting spanked every day
one important thing is i would make sure person really like me before i do spankin with them and meet them for a session
as for people not into spanking i can be freinds with them too in vanilla world but i may or may not tell them my intrest in being spanked i might make joke and etc.. see what they say but i would feel better know i do have friends who into spanked and some one i can go to and count to be spanked