I received an email from a reader asking about the fear of spanking marks being accidentally discovered.
Receiving a spanking can be an experience unlike any other when, if done right, the subspace and lingering feelings can be very heady indeed. But in order to get there, some force and subsequent bruising and discoloration are needed. Hence the event is not concluded at the end of the spanking, but the marks and bruises can carry on for days. Are any of your readers concerned about being ‘outed’ by a boyfriend or girlfriend? a trip to the doctor’s for an unrelated issue? in a gym locker room? or any other accidental viewing by another party? It sometimes seems that you almost have to plan out the few days and hope nothing unusual happens. Perhaps I’m paranoid moving from the spanker to spankee part, but since this is one fetish that is REALLY not socially accepted and can have personal and economic implications, the cautions needed seem to diminish the ‘letting go’ part of the experience. What do you think?
Ok, so lots to think about here. Are marks and bruises an absolute? I think a healthy red glow is, but bruising isn’t necessarily something everyone wants or in the case of seasoned players, not something that can be easily achieved. But there is still a chance of marks occurring even when making a concerted effort to avoid them. And in knowing this, there is a chance that you’ll be playing with fire if you unexpectedly have to show your punished bottom to someone other than your spanker.
I think the fear of being outed by a boyfriend or girlfriend is the trickiest scenario as it is an intimate relationship. Maybe the partner is not aware of the interest or not approving of spanking. If spanking secrecy is a factor then yes, I’d say careful planning is required in this case. Otherwise you may need to avoid intimate moments which could quickly lead to relationship strain.
With the doctor, well certainly schedule that appointment accordingly if the doctor might see your bottom. The doctor is going to be concerned to see unusual bruising and want an explanation. Of course not all medical attention is scheduled in advance and so if there is an urgent matter requiring a visit to the doctor or hospital, then take a deep breath and go even with those marked buns. The good doctor has probably seen stranger things.
In the locker room, put on your undies in the shower stall, point your bottom towards the lockers, or simply stare down any of those cheeky bum-lookers trying to get a peek at your derriere.
Accidental viewing by another party? More cheeky bum-lookers! Either they are everywhere or you are flashing your pretty bare bottom all over town. Cut it out. 
Bottom line (ha!) is you do have to take the end state of your bottom into account if you are concerned about people seeing it and don’t wish to have to explain your love of spanking. If you want to go all out and experience an intense spanking to the fullest, you may need to do some planning ahead of time. Pick your play time carefully, schedule that physical for another time, and stock up on fluffy pillows if you plan to sit in the near future.
What are your thoughts?
December 29th, 2011 - 11:35 pm
Pixie,
I think a “healthy, red glow” is what happens after most spankings between consenting adults, and that lasting marks and bruising happen less frequently except with heavier players. Clearly, such marks could be a matter of concern when visiting health care providers if some other health issue presented itself. I’d say that, if it isn’t an emergency, and if you’ve gotten a spanking that leaves marks, give it some time before you consult medical professionals. Unless gerbils are involved. I hope you know I’m kidding.
December 29th, 2011 - 11:47 pm
Hmmm. Interesting subject. When I took fencing in college, we would sometimes use the foil for saber and epee as we did not have those swords. Sometimes we would get bruises from a harder hit than usual. We would joke about anyone seeing these and say they would think we had a “weird” sex life. One of the teachers was a fencing master and he told us about one guy he learned from who would put a balloon on his mask and if you popped it, you got hit on the bottom with his foil. Now a foil would hurt like heck. It would be like a skinny metal cane! Foils are square, flexable steel that bend and they can make that swish sound very nicely.
On this topic, the only issue I have is if I had to go to the doctor or emergency and any marks were there. I would not particularly care to have to come up with some reason for them being there, depending on where they might be. The last time I was spanked I did have a couple of marks in the “sweet spot” area and that is a hard place to try to explain why it is marked. Up a bit higher and you can probably say you tripped and fell into the corner of the kitchen table. Yeah, likely story…NOT!
If my doctor saw a bruise, I might tell him it was caused by some unusual unmentionable attention and leave it at that. Then again, I’d just as soon plan on not seeing him until said mark was gone!
I have no idea when it comes to significant others, locker rooms, the gym or any other venue where the bruises could be seen except to be as discrete as possible.
December 29th, 2011 - 11:57 pm
It was in fact a high school gym locker room where I was first given my ferocious moniker “Tigerbutt”.
If you are a woman, the Doc might send the cops to your house if they suspect domestic abuse so be careful with that one.
OMG, Biker, you must have seen what happened to “Lemmywinks”, the classroom pet on “South Park”!
December 30th, 2011 - 12:11 am
That’s a great issue to mention. In my almost 5-year long-distance relationship, it is almost everytime that I return home with this particular bruises (I like it rough..) hoping they will disappear before my next massage appointment. However, I don’t think I have ever been outed by far (I do not care what any possible viewers in the swimming pool locker room might think – they are usually strangers)and I don’t have a specific recipe of how to avoid being “noticed” by others. I am just happy the marks usually do not last very long.
Happy New Year!
December 30th, 2011 - 12:14 am
To Tigerbutt – In my country, docs do not send cops anywhere even in more severe cases of obvious domestic violence (unless it is a kid) so this would not be an issue.
December 30th, 2011 - 12:25 am
Wow, Nat, you must be living in one of those “free” countries!
December 30th, 2011 - 12:34 am
Totally agree that you’re playing with fire getting spanked when marks might be an issue. There is no way of guaranteeing a bruise wont happen. We’ve personally never had an issue with them though. Not something we’re trying for, but if they happen… so be it.
Several years ago Suzy woke up with a kidney stone. It was a really bad one that required a trip to the ER. She’s been spanked the night before, and had some bruises. We were kind of worried that might be discovered… and it was when she got a pain shot. The nurse didn’t say a word though. Have talked with some nurse friends since and they tell us they shrug those things off and focus on the reason you’re there.
Not sure that is ~always~ the case though. All in all, we avoid spanking when a doctor’s visit is planned… but otherwise don’t worry about it.
Interesting topic. Happy New Year!
~Todd & Suzy
December 30th, 2011 - 10:50 am
pixie yes you would have to be careful ,perhaps the docmight be a spanko ,love and spanks ,tim xxxxxx
December 30th, 2011 - 11:38 am
I personally enjoy having a red and or marked bum for several days.
I love hard to severe spankings and with my fair sensitive skin it’s unlikely that I DON’T have at least a few bruises after each “lesson.”
My only request is that spankers don’t spank more than a few inches below my thighs so no one at the gym would notice marks. As far as showering there, I stay in the actual cube until fully dressed. I swear one time when I came out of the bathroom stall and put my towel in front of me, some broad was TRYING to check out my semi-covered “cat.” THAT’s another topic!
I typically plan spanking events well in advance so a routine Dr. visit is usually risk free-lets hope I don’t ever have a drunken mishap requiring an emergency visit to the ER requiring me to bare my cheeks for the esteemed personnel. THEN I might have 2 sets of reddened cheeks to explain. LOL!
December 30th, 2011 - 3:16 pm
I have actually had an occasion where I have had to explain marks on my bottom to a doctor and a nurse before. I had a particularly intense session with my spanker and then later that evening I started experiencing some chest pains. (Completely unrelated to anything with the spanking.) At the hospital with chest pains, they will usually give you the full workup and for me, I am usually admitted. I was told to completely undress and to put on the ever so beautiful backless hospital gown. When the doctor saw my marks, he asked me if I was being hurt or abused and I looked him straight in the face and told him, No, I am not being abused or hurt, but I do enjoy a good spanking every now and again. He smiled at me and said he “wished some others would be open to some spanking every now and again” and then continued on with his exam. Nothing more was ever said and the cops were not called. However, when I left the hospital after 4 days of tests, tests and more tests, and all the IV’s, my arms and chest looked like I’d been more abused than the markings that the spanking had left. Amd those bruises lasted longer than the ones on my bottom. LOL
December 30th, 2011 - 5:59 pm
Since I have been “out” and spanked, I have always told the truth to my doctors if necessary. All of them have been accepting, and simply said to be careful; and not get “hurt.”I presume they meant permanent damage. In fact, the doc who I thought would be least supportive was actually the most understanding. My current doc does not know as there has simply not been a circumstance wherein she needed to know. I’m not sure how she’d react, but I suspect it would be OK.
December 30th, 2011 - 6:57 pm
Even though adult spanking play is not legally recognised here in the UK, there seems to be a much greater tolerance of spanking and CP than in some other countries.
This could be due to the ‘public school’ tradition, or also the fairly regular news items featuring real life adult spankings, which I can remember appearing in the tabloids as far back as the 1970s.
(Apparently, the only reason the Max Mosley story made the News of the World front page splash, was because of the supposed – and non existent – Nazi theme. The actual spanking play wasn’t of much interest to the editorial staff.)
As for unscheduled hospital visits in the UK, I don’t think there’s any need to worry. The doctors and nurses here have seen absolutely *everything*, and when the A&E staff are dealing with their normal quota of semi-comatose druggies and uncooperative elderly patients with dementia, the last thing they are going to make a fuss about is a few bruises on a patients bum. (With minors, it’s a different matter.)
Even if anyone bothered to call the Bill, there is nothing they can do unless the ‘victim’ asks for charges to be pressed.
I guess boyfriend/girlfriend finding the marks is the real problem. Surely, though, if you have a meaningful relationship, then you will have already told them about your kink and sought their approval.
December 31st, 2011 - 8:41 am
I attended a spanking party prior to having surgery early this month. Sadly I only got to top at the party but had I got my bottom blistered I wouldn’t have had to worry. The hospital where I had my surgery gave me a very unattractive paper blue gown that was not backless.
” Happy New Year” everybody!!!
Tim S.
December 31st, 2011 - 12:59 pm
Pixie,
Thanks for posting the letter. Perhaps the ‘bottom’ line is the question of how you or any of your readers would feel if you were unexpectedly outed by any means to your family or friends, or co-workers or clients. With so many lifestyles and fetishes part of the mainstream, this one still seems unaccepted (perhaps that’s part of the appeal). Anyway, is this where we get the phrase ‘watch your ass’?
December 31st, 2011 - 6:31 pm
My spanker and I are careful about pre-appointment spankings. I don’t usually play to the point of marking anyway, but why risk it. Even with recent appointments not planned, I was fortunate enough to be pretty much covered up at my appts and not be marked anyway.
I don’t worry about being outed by my spanker who is the only one around me who knows, even with my spanker teasing me about spanking by air spanking from across the room when no one can acutally see or light swats no one actually sees even if they are nearby.
December 31st, 2011 - 8:07 pm
After spanking a brat that really needed to be spanked she ended up with a very sore and marked backside. A day or so later she was scheduled for a massage and was questioned about the paddle marks. She simple replied that she had a very “Strict Boyfriend”
January 1st, 2012 - 1:40 am
What you have to understand is the life we have is a finite thing. It’ll run out. Don’t waste too much of it on worrying about “what-if”s. Especially now a days, I mean, spanking is so much more out in the mainstream now compared to years past.
January 1st, 2012 - 7:14 am
pixie a very Happy new year from Tim in U.K.and to all the beautiful brats and spankers at punished Brats and all brats commenting here ,love and spanks xxxxxx
January 2nd, 2012 - 8:26 am
Whoever is in a position to see you bottom normally already enjoys a degree of intimacy in which it ought to be possible to say, “Oh. That’s from my spanking. My (boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse) and I enjoy this as foreplay. You got a problem with that?” Since the erotic use of spanking is so well documented as to be a commonplace, the only further question will be “But bruises?” To which the obvious answer is “Sometimes I like to pretend I’ve been very naught indeed and must be spanked reeeelly hard.” One can hardly argue with that.
Even if in fact the marks are from a nonsexual spanking (e.g. within a domestic discipline contract), framing them as the rsult of overly enthusiastic sexual behavior pretty well conveys the license. To those who would say “Well, that’s kinky,” or “Well, that’s sooo politically incorrect,” the appropriate response would be “don;t knock it till you’ve tried it.”
The only problem I can see is if you get in an accident and are brought in unconscious. In that case, maybe a “Spank Alert” pendant on the lines of the medic-alert ones might be in order. Buy a heart-shaped flat sheet charm and have it engraved “likes spankings” (one can do this discreetly on a brass one, using the coin-operated ID-tag vending machines at PetSmart and other pet stores), and that should pretty well cover it; the worst risk is that some spanko nurse will make off with it — and heaven knows the poor dears work hard, so maybe that’s OK, for you can always get another.
January 3rd, 2012 - 10:19 pm
Marks can be an issue for a variety of reasons, including those you mentioned. I always make sure to get my annual doctor appointments out of the way long before any spanking party weekends.
I’m someone who bruises easily so it’s always a problem for me. One just has to learn to pace themselves, which can be hard! Great post.
January 5th, 2012 - 7:59 am
Pixie it is mean that a girl as lovely as Ten gets a strapping but enjoyable ,love and spanks from Tim xxxxxx