How do you measure the severity of a spanking? It is something so subjective. When someone says they give moderate spankings, that might actually be severe or mild in the opinion of the one on the receiving end. Hard to know for sure until you start playing and providing feedback. Yet an outside observer might rate the spanking altogether different than either participant based on their interpretation of the reactions, the swing, the physical state of the bottom (redness, marking, etc).
I think intensity is related but not the same as severity. A spanking can be very intense, but not necessarily severe. Intensity to me has much more to do with the headspace and the overal emotional tone of the spanking whereas the severity is more about the physical aspects. That being said, if the atmosphere surrounding a spanking were to take a serious tone, be emotionally deep, and then the act itself be only a series of light pats you’d give a puppy, then I think the intensity would be considerably diminished.
In my opinion, severity is on a scale such as this:
Mild – Light, playful hand spanks. A warm up. Not too much sting or burn. Results in a pale pink bottom that is slightly warm to the touch.
Moderate – Heavier hand spankings. A more rapid pace. Increased sting and/or thud sensations. Gets the attention and evokes a reaction. Definitely a red bottom that is kicking off some heat. Some use of smaller implements on a well warmed bottom. No swinging from the rafters!!
Firm - Use of lighter implements (hairbrush) at a rapid fire speed or use of heavier ones (large paddle, bathbrush, strap) at all. In some cases, a heavy hand is also considered quite hard. Causes the spankee to gasp or cry out. Results in super red bottoms of practiced players and easily the marks on someone that is fair skinned or not accustomed to frequent play.
Severe – High levels of pain and discomfort that will be felt for a couple of days. Likely to cause some marking even when the bottom is accustomed to regular play. Takes the bottom to his or her personal limits (without crossing over).
Over The Line – Anything that is done with the intent of causing major bruising or any bleeding. Any play where the bottom is badly bruised or the skin is bleeding but play continues.
Remember, this is just my personal opinion and my own scale. What is over the line for me, may be someone else’s ideal. And what may be moderate for me, may be too severe for another.
I prefer a moderate to firm spanking. I like when my reactions are completely genuine and I feel the warmth building as the spanking continues. I am safety concious though as well as emotionally cautious and don’t like when it seems that the goal is to truly damage the flesh or the mind. Any sort of disregard for safety or degrading acts/comments are beyond turn-offs to me.
What is your take on levels of severity? It is so very different for everyone, so I’d like to know how you decide what might fall under the various terms and what your preference is – in either giving, receiving, or viewing. No right or wrong answers here so please be respectful of everyone’s opinion.
August 5th, 2010 - 11:48 am
“In some cases, a heavy hand is also considered quite hard. ”
Wonder why in reading this, the name “Dallas” popped immediately into my head? {grin}
August 5th, 2010 - 12:00 pm
Pixie, you say you prefer moderate to firm and yet “firm” is not one of your defined terms. What are we to make of this?
Someday science will advance to the point at which the severity of a spanking will be objectively quantifiable. But until then, it’s nice that you’ve put together this tentative guide.
A followup question might be though, “Do you go beyond your preferred level of severity for the sake of making a video more impressive? For instance I’ve heard that spankings look less severe on video than they were in real life. So, assuming you agree with that analysis, do you amp up the spanking severity level to compensate for that effect?”
August 5th, 2010 - 12:13 pm
Mark – Dallas would certainly be one, but there are a few that come to mind right off the bat!
Karl – fussy, fussy.
I wondered if the hard vs firm would be picked up as I hit “Post”. I’ve now changed the scale to match the term I used later on.
Yes, I do sometimes go beyond what is my preferred level of severity for the sake of video. I can’t do it constantly or I think I would completely burn out, but I do push the limits on occasion.
And I would also agree that what is seen on video appears somewhat less severe than what occurs in real life while filming. The videos are generally not viewed on a large as life screen, you don’t feel the “whoosh” of the implement or the hand as it goes swinging by, and somehow just being on video is not nearly the same as seeing it live. And yes, you do need to compensate or somehow take into consideration how it will be viewed on video.
August 5th, 2010 - 1:26 pm
I agree that intensity and severity are not one and the same. Many things can define “intense” for me, but “severe” is just plain hard, physically. And yes, it’s all relative.
When I was at FMS, I played for the first time with a very talented man who is known for the severity and power of his scenes. He is not for the faint of heart, but he is skilled and careful and will only deliver what the bottom has told him she wants. He and I did a scene that I thought was quite heavy, and I loved it. Afterward, I asked him what that scene was on his severity scale. He said, “Bear in mind, I play harder than most. For most people, that was about a 9 or 10. For me, it was about a 5.” Holy crap.
I prefer moderate to firm, and on occasion with the right trusted person, a buildup into severe. For viewing, however, I am squeamish about severe, so I prefer firm. I have no use for mild, either receiving or viewing. It makes me squirm with boredom to watch it, and if I’m receiving pitty-pat spanks, I feel like I’m a little baby across someone’s lap and it gives me the creeps.
Over the line? Never. You want to pound flesh into hamburger, go work for a butcher.
August 5th, 2010 - 1:27 pm
I use the phrase “Sound Spanking”.
For me that means a bare bottom, preferably OTK, with a hairbrush or paddle that leaves, however long it takes, the entire bottom a bright red without and cuts of bruises.
The person on the receiving end should not, when it’s over, think “That wasn’t so bad”
Lee R
August 5th, 2010 - 1:31 pm
Personal preference is mild, moderate and firm — depending on my partner — but almost exclusively by hand. Stinging pleasure is what I’m about, but how much sting is both dependent on partner and dependent on time and mood.
August 5th, 2010 - 1:37 pm
Also, having been on both the giving and receiving ends, I have received what I thought was a long hard paddling, only to observe only a slight pink, when at other times from the same experience, you could fry eggs on the result it was so red.
I don’t know why this is.
August 5th, 2010 - 3:08 pm
Pixieliscious, an excellent topic. I agree with your updated severity list.
@ all, take a cup of tea, this is a long post.
As a new past time i ma playing with PAINt shop and am creating spanking/discipline related cards. One of them is a “color-chart”
http://s1039.photobucket.com/albums/a476/tomthedom4u/SpankingCards%20TomtheDom4u/?action=view¤t=popo-pinkNred.jpg
you see i divided the categories more playfully into 8 shades of pains, err paints
as for categorizing in general, this following list i mainly use(d) when i was the disciplinarian to my “pets”
i have my own lingo for spankings:
c – correctional, strictest punishments. implements used cane, belt, switch – target: thighs, feet, hands , buttocks
d – disciplinary, second strictest, impl: paddles, wooden and plastic spoons/spatuals, hairbrush. target: thighs, feet, hands , buttocks
e – educational, impl. any of above and hand, yet used with medium strength, target: thighs, buttocks, feet, hands. caring in nature, not too harsh, mostly used are hairbrush , spatula or cooking spoons
f – fun, impl. mostly hand, includes b-day spanking, a tap in public etc,as well as erotic, impl. any of above and hand, yet used lightly, target: thighs, buttocks, breasts, private parts. loving in nature, not harsh
g- generosity – any impl. possibble. mainly hand tho, target butt and thighs. example maintainance spankings. bottom decides about impl. a lot
h – handspanking
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
my routines in c and d spankings include
c- over a table etc. bare bottom, no warm up, c- spankings have the notion to them, that a crime is to be punished and i therefore dont want to have physical contact with the spankee for the time being. after the c- spanking is over, the spankee may either receive a d or e spanking on top – otk – or/and a handspanking OTK, reassuring the spankee, that the crime part is dealt with and s/he is redeemed.
d- spanking, are quite harsh OTK spankings, for repeated offenses or big disdemeanors, that do not qualify as crime but are despisable by nature. such an act is OTK to assure the spankee of continuing care about them, but the harshness is to make sure for them, their derrigatory behaviour will at no time be accepted.
d is mainly otk. we mostly start on panties clad or bare bottom, bare bottom is always included. no warm up w/ the hand. hand spanking ends the session.
e- spankings, are for minor offences, caring to loving yet non sexual and unfunny in nature. OTK obviously.
corner time – if dealt out at all – is always done before the final handspanking and the concluding comfort time
after the spanking is dealt with, all spankings end with the spankee being forgiven, sat across the knee and have a cry out against my chest or shoulder if necessary.
August 5th, 2010 - 3:27 pm
hi,
that is a very good gauge of spanking severity.
i’ve never given more than a moderate one, never metronome, never longer than 2-3 min, and always rapid.
i don’t favor impliments but can understand the fascination amoung those who do.
no way are a pair of pants going to offer protection from a spanker determined to get resulys. i think a bare bottom is more about humilayion than severity.
many will find me wimpy but i can’t help it. it will never happen but if i were ever to find myself spanking a girl who said c’mon, c’mon…harder..i honestly don’t know what i’d do.
i guess that makes me a moderate.
by the by…i’ve become an avid communicant of develin o’neil’s blog.
ddon
August 5th, 2010 - 3:31 pm
[...] Discussing severity with Pixie [...]
August 5th, 2010 - 4:05 pm
Hi Pixie – I’ve been a fan of your sight for awhile now, but this topic peaked my interest enough to get me to “de-lurk”. I currently have an arrangement with this guy who is acting as my disciplinarian. For us this means that he administers maintenance spankings every 1-2 weeks, to help keep me on track, but if I’ve broken one of our agreed-upon rules, then I get a punishment spanking instead. So, using your scale, I would say my disciplinary spankings are “firm” and my punishment spankings are “severe”. The intensity of the punishment spankings are worse too, since I always feel guilty about what it was that I did to earn the spanking. I definitely handle disciplinary spankings better than the punishment ones, but both kinds have been helping and I haven’t had too many punishment spankings… yet… Both spankings are within my tolerance range although the punishment ones definitely push it and I’m usually sore for at least a couple days afterwards. I don’t think anything less than a firm spanking would work for me.
August 5th, 2010 - 6:37 pm
Great topic, Pixie!
@ Mark… Dallas popped right into my mind as well.
I find it so disturbing to go onto sites like Spankingtube and find that some people troll there just telling everyone that the depicted spanking should have been much harder. It is what it is to each couple and a less severe spanking under certain circumstances can be more effective for one person than a “severe one” might be under other circumstances. I agree, Pixie… intensity is all about the head space. The most viewed clip on Spankingtube is actually one of the mildest on the site, yet the circumstances make it relatively intense.
Kim
August 5th, 2010 - 7:15 pm
Very thought provoking.
For me both as a viewer and recipient I have identical prferences. The range varies from moderate to severe because I like the gradual buildup to the point where I’m physically uncomfortable but NOT tortured. I am wide open to seeing and displaying deep redness and bruising because for me I always related those effects as knowing I’d gotten a good one that I’ll feel for a few days after. Since I have a high pain tolerance, I feel that light spankings are annoying and a waste of time to view and receive. I hate the ones where the spanker gives an occasional gentle smack to the clothed or unclothed rear but has no real momentum. YAWN!!!!
The huge necessity to allow me to endure these very hard spankings is humorous exchanges with my spanking partner. This is SO welcome and really can carry me through a session because I do not cry even when it hurts like hell, but I need the comical distraction to do myself justice.
August 5th, 2010 - 7:21 pm
Why did it seem that Dallas instantly popped into everyone’s mind during this post
August 5th, 2010 - 7:22 pm
Mild – Pinkness, hand prints, warmth.
Firm – Redness & pinkness, heat & tingles.
Hard – Red turning Blue, skin raw and beginning to blister, hot and
stinging.
Severe – Whole butt turns purple, angry red lines leading away from
target area, blood blisters or tram lines, butt is all you can think
about, difficulty walking, eyes watering, sitting – out of the
question.
Over the line – Black and blue, skin broken and bleeding, uncontrollable
crying, sitting out of the question for at least a week.
These are the physical symptoms of severity (according to the Tigerbutt). The psychological severity is situational and varies according to head-space.
August 5th, 2010 - 7:22 pm
Dallas is HOT!
I wonder if he’s capable of making that ever popular spanking threat “You won’t be able to sit for a week” a
reality.
August 5th, 2010 - 7:34 pm
I also want to clarify my take on the difference of severity vs intensity.
Severity is evident during the spanking and after the conclusion.
1. deep coloring and bruising of the bottom
2. verbal cries of pain or sounds elicited from the spankee
3. implements breaking during the spanking
Intensity begins just before and during the spanking.
1. Spanker delivers a harsh scolding to the spankee
2. Spanker may angrily slam implements down on table, chair, floor, etc to convey major displeasure
3. Spanker yanks clothing down and or forcefully guides BRAT into position
4. The REAL test of endurance and bravery on the spankee’s part occurs when she/he is getting multiple HARD smacks with hand or implement in the exact spot either with hand or implement.
***I gotta admit this does intimidate me but when it’s called for I’d NEVER beg for mercy, TOO proud to do that.
August 5th, 2010 - 8:24 pm
@Kelly, who wrote:
***I gotta admit this does intimidate me but when it’s called for I’d NEVER beg for mercy, TOO proud to do that.
Obviously we have never played together!
August 5th, 2010 - 9:02 pm
Anything above the medium range of “Firm” would be Not Fun for me (personally), whether as a Top or Bottom. I’m just not a “punishment spanking” kinda guy. I’m a lazy dom. Spanking is the Carrot in the Carrot/Stick equation ’round these parts. Paradoxically. I prefer positive reinforcement, and since lecturing and scowling is also Carrot… Dang it, does that mean the Stick is being nice? This has gone horribly wrong! But: O So Right.
August 5th, 2010 - 9:04 pm
David Pierson was fantastic as a severe spanker in “Spoiled Wife”. I felt such compassion for her because her butt was covered with bruises by the time he finished. Plus while she struggled to get away, he was all the more determined to keep her in place.
This video was a Major turn on for me partly due to the “helplessness” aspect something I never display.
I’d say this was both intense and severe.
August 5th, 2010 - 9:13 pm
My last rambling before bed.
I am a fan of Chelsea Pfieffer’s videos. And I must say I was very surprised after watching a Chelsea Spanks session with Veronica Daniels. Both of those women have done a great job blasting Queen BRAT’S and her co-Brats behinds time and again. Not too far into the hand spanking over jeans part, Veronica was in noticeable discomfort which only intensified as it progressed to bare bottomed hand spanking. By the time Chelsea began using implements, Veronica was in tears and crying out loud. I’ve seen other CS videos where the girls showed less signs of pain. This tells me a few things. Veronica is very comfortable expressing emotions with a good friend and Chelsea spanked her much harder than some of the other girls, or her pain tolerance is not as high as the other girls. Many possibilities to ponder in Spanking Land.
August 6th, 2010 - 12:23 am
For me the really severe stuff is a major turn-off. Simply put, I feel a spanking is the give a stark message with a good amount of pain, but not something that leaves permanent scares or causes permanent physical damage. Which is why I don’t like BDSM at all…Mild to firm for me.
August 6th, 2010 - 1:13 am
I don’t think there’s any way to answer this universally. You can give identical spankings to 5 people who range from very experienced to novice. The first may not even be pink, the last may be severely bruised. The pain level may range from low to screaming. Who’s to judge, spanker or spankee? Erica’s thing of 5 and 9-10 comes into play here. My medium may be somebody else’s heavy.
August 6th, 2010 - 6:32 am
Pixie interesting subject ,as long as the spankee isnt injured it should be alright that is very important ,Dallas seems to give very sound spankings and the girls botties look very sore and tingly as you can testify pixie and other girls but they seem to enjoy it as the viewers do and there are other sites like lupus which the girls look distressed .you received big whacks from Veronica in your new vid as a juggler brat lol ,Kelly ,April ,Tigerbutt ,Lorraine and newbie Elizabeth and you Pixie love and spanks from tim xxxxxxbest wishes to the boy brats too.
August 6th, 2010 - 6:36 am
I like your distinction between intensity and severity. That makes sense.
I agree with all your descriptions of severity, but I think that intensity is more important.
The idea of being a bottom is appealing, but what if the spanking took place in a public place? I want to be spanked over a park bench by a policeman. That’s more intense!
Good post!
August 6th, 2010 - 11:12 am
Welcome Elizabeth!
Adapting the Spanking Pixie Scale:
Mild – Playful hand spanks-a warm up. A little sting-what I’m likely to dish out at the mall or grocery store followed by the “there is more where that came from in case you forgot look.” For us it’s a signal that playtime is around the corner.
Moderate – Heavier spankings, with an increased sting. We always use a hairbrush or paddle on the bare bottom. Gets her attention and red is the color of her bottom. Reaction? Oh my!
Firm – For us, we’re nearing the end. If agreed by both of us, the rattan cane is introduced here, (rarely). By now she’s been moved off my lap and is now bent over something, (usually a chair or our bed). Even though I’m the spanker she guides the length of her spankings. The redness of her bottom will be gone by the end of the day as will the soreness….now we’ve moved on to other forms of adult play,
Severe – never been here…not for us.
As far as intensity goes our spanking play is exactly that, play. She knows it’s going to happen, I don’t have to yell, simply guiding her to the side of the chair is our usual starting point. Read above for the ending point
August 6th, 2010 - 2:13 pm
With us, spanking is used for different things, but a lot of times to settle a bet as the looser gets spanked.
I can take a harder spanking than my wife, and BOY, does she know it.
A hundred or more spanks is normal and she does make me regret making the bet.
But, if there is any sign of injury, she will stop, but she has gotten very good at providing long stinging spankings that set me on fire and a bright red bottom with no cuts or bruises.
She says it’s because she had a good teacher.
PS. These bets have taken the place of a need to go to a casino and gamble.
Win or loose, I like the results and save a lot of money.
August 6th, 2010 - 2:24 pm
Hey Pixie,
I like your descriptions, especially the difference between intensity and severity.
Personally, I bruise very easily. If I haven’t played for a while even light strokes will have bruises popping up immediately and I’d be so disappointed if the play stopped then. Even when I’ve been getting regular spankings I still bruise – the difference seems to be that it takes about a day for the bruises to fully bloom, so it’s not something that would interrupt a spanking. Also, I tend to bounce back after spankings fairly quickly, so I very very rarely have lingering discomfort following even when I’m marked.
Major bruising or broken skin should never be the goal of a spanking – that crosses a line for me. I have played a few times where my skin was broken and have had different reactions depending on the situation. To me it doesn’t necessarily mean that the spanking must end (as long as it isn’t a safety hazard), but I do need to know that my partner is (1) aware of the situation and making a conscious decision based on what is best for both of us and (2) understands that this isn’t and shouldn’t be a usual occurrence and does deserve a little extra attention afterward.
August 6th, 2010 - 9:39 pm
I look at spanking as a fun thing. I feel that if the intention is to cause broken skin, bleeding etc. that’s bordering on assault. I don’t care if the spankee wants it that way, he or she should have sense enough to know physical harm takes something that’s supposed to be a good time and puts it in another catagory. Then again, if that’s the preference, it’s up to those involved.
It’s also the responsibility of the spanker to mention if a bottom is getting beyond red and severe marks are starting to form. If the spankee doesn’t care, that’s one thing. To each his/her own.
At the other end of the chart, too mild seems a waste of time and an unexciting warm up. Maybe it’s different if it’s used as a tease for things to come.
Everyone should know before hand what implements can cause damage if used too hard. Some spankers try for speed without getting into a rhythm first. A well aimed belt with the proper firmness and speed can be a good spanking experience. If the spankee doesn’t think it’s hard enough, say something.
Bottom line(pun intended), it’s up to the individuals to know the difference between fun and damage.
August 7th, 2010 - 1:30 am
In my opinion, if a spanking is to be described as firm, there need to be periods of time when the receiver wants it to stop, and yet it goes on — even if the spanking is purely voluntary, even requested by the spankee. (Of course, if it is 100% voluntary, those feelings will alternate with the desire for it to continue, or perhaps even intensify.)
If I were able to participate in giving and receiving spankings on any regular basis, I’m sure I would enjoy the mild and moderate, with firm from time to time, and perhaps occasionally severe. Since I have the opportunity so very rarely (as in, once every couple of years or so), I definitely want to make the spankings I give and receive very memorable experiences for my “niece-friend” and me. When she visited this past February (I’ve been meaning to write to you about this, Pixie!), the spanking I gave her (disciplinary) was a firm-to-severe (she’d just call it severe) hairbrush spanking, and the one I received (role-playing) was definitely firm — and the most exquisitely satisfying one I’ve gotten to date: I got a thorough hairbrushing, followed by my first time with a “wrapped” (as opposed to doubled-over) belt. It was also the first time that I could really feel that wonderful reminder-tingle the next day. She had some visible marks for a couple of days; I did not.
On the receiving end, I personally love the moment when the hairbrush, working at a moderate pace, is already generating a really uncomfortable sting … and then it suddenly speeds up. That’s what I call a firm spanking.
August 7th, 2010 - 5:02 am
I like your difference between severity and intensity. I also think of intensity as the experience of the spanking itself, and the severity as the result of it. So you could take a relatively light implement, spank hard and fast, and for a short time overwhelm the senses of the spankee. It would be experienced as intense, but when it’s finished, may not necessarily be considered a severe spanking. OTOH, you could give someone a high number of hard swats with a heavy paddle, but spaced out to allow much time to recover between each one. I wouldn’t think of that as intense so much, but the result could be very severe.
I’m attracted most to your moderate to firm levels. Severe is okay to save for special circumstances. Severe spankings all the time would not work for me, as it would grow tiresome. Over the line isn’t my thing. Generally, mild is boring. If I’m the spanker, though, much depends on the spankee. What is fulfilling for her at that moment? What is her tolerance and limitations? If she experiences mild as something more than the average spanko, then it might not be boring to me. Or if she can’t take firm, then it’s too severe.
August 7th, 2010 - 8:59 pm
Good descriptions of the levels.
Funny to me is when my spanker says “Ouch?” “That’s not ouch.” “This is ouch!” ((WHACK)) How would the spanker know what pains me?! It’s my butt. Of course I know to keep thoughts like that to myself.
Headspace must have something to do with it. Sometimes I can’t get enough and other times I have no tolerance. Those times I might be feeling a tad vulnerable and mild is the best option. Along with that if I haven’t been spanked I am in start over mode. I don’t like start over mode!!
Do you think you can get a mild spanking from a wooden paddle? I think that would describe most of mine.
August 8th, 2010 - 11:17 am
Enough Is Enough…
What(Pray Tell) Is Accomplished When A Particularly Savage-Thrashing Cuts & Slashes A Sub’s Buttocks So As To Leave Them Scarred Permanently. Although Some “Hard Cases” Might Regard Those Resulting Souvenirs As A “Badge Of Courage”, I Simply Can’t Understand How That Can Be Justified When It Causes The Victim To Lose The Sensation In The Area For Eternity. There Went All The Fun* * *
Love & Tears,
C2BK
August 8th, 2010 - 5:19 pm
A good sound spanking involves a lot of trust.
I have noticed that people that need a spanking from time to time rarely make good spankers, they either spank too hard or too soft.
While those that don’t like to be spanked, but are willing to fill that need in others, usually do it very well.
As mentioned above severity should be just a little more than the bottom would like so that when the spanking stops, they are glad.
Absolutely more than what someone could give to themselves.
For me spanking is a big turn on.
Love the horizontal dancing.
Thinking about it, talking about it, doing it, love the horizontal dancing.
But, whenever I see a picture of someone with bruises or cuts, I am immediately turned off.
Because a spanking should be a spanking and not a beating.
Lee R
August 9th, 2010 - 1:06 am
Hi Pixie i love this topic i hate severe spankings cause for 1 they hurt like hell and 2 i bruise easily,i took several severe spankings in my life and i have to say that i rather have a moderate spanking cause my bruises lasted for weeks,i watched a video on spanking tube and the person getting spanked was bruised very badly and bleeding i was like OMG that’s terrible,to me that was a beating not a spanking your one of my faves Pixie love and hugs from naughty girl Jade xxxxx
August 18th, 2010 - 12:19 am
OMG! Pixie said, “And I would also agree that what is seen on video appears somewhat less severe than what occurs in real life while filming.” So spanking videos are actually more intense than they appear? Yikes! Many of them look pretty darn harsh to me. So to think that it’s actually even harder than it looks – wow. I’m sure I couldn’t take it. And I have even more admiration for the models and real-life spankos who do. Well, for me, I’ll take a good moderate to firm spanking any day, preferably every day, but leave the severe ones to braver souls.