I actually rather enjoy being “weird.” I’m finally done with school, horribly in debt, and looking for that boring, Dear God is it five-o-clock yet? occupation to pay the bills, but so long as my love of spanking and/or bdsm place me out of the ordinary, it leaves me feeling… well, original.

It’s like… no matter what happens, I can always have spanking/ bdsm sites and blogs (like yours) to help me feel less just like a cog in the machine and more like an individual.

to me if you were talking to somebody and tell them they need a good spanking or you going spank them i doubt they would know you are into it yaself and have the urge to spank them or get spanked by them

i alway figure if i someday made somebody mostly a female mad i may tell her i desver to be spank or need a spanking then see what she say about it my behavior and what i did to see if she would do it or not. if she say no iam not going spank you. i would just think ok she not into that stuff and not intrested in spanking

dani – That’s a very good trait that you have developed in becoming more compassionate and understanding as others as you’d hope they would be towards you. I think a lot has to do with you being very sweet and caring to begin with as well.

crystal – I hope that you have had many more up times than down and that you are happy in the lifestyle you are living now. It can be incredibly hard to change the way you have felt for years or even a lifetime.

Matt – Yep. And then when you come back, you may end up regretting all the files, connections, and opportunities that were lost along the way.

CurtisG – It can be a very tough thing to bring up to others who may be judgmental or simply can’t comprehend the desire. I’m sorry that you had such a tough time in your marriage. I hope that you are able to find complete compatibility within the relationships you have now.

Annapurna – I agree that self-acceptance can do a world of good. Being ok with the desire can make it less overwhelming and imposing. It’s a lot easier to say than do, I know, but I hope that we can all take some comfort in knowing that we are hardly alone in our interest and that while we may choose to keep it private, there isn’t something terribly shameful about a consensual act you enjoy.

will – I’m sorry to hear about how much emotional pain you’ve endured in relation to your interest in spanking and that you feel it is limiting and imprisoning you. You mentioned that the spanking world is all that you have now. Can you balance it a bit with the other hobbies you metioned like cycling or photography and still have the relative comfort of the spanking world?

Linde – I’m so happy to hear that you were able to get to a point where you were able to like who you are and not feel the need to change. From corresponding with you a bit, I know what an important role spanking has played in your life and it’s great that it has given you some hope, happiness, and new friendships.

mary – Thank you! It is a terrible feeling when you believe you are the only one that is different from the rest of the world. I’m glad you finally found that you are far from alone that one fateful day you did an internet search.

Isolde – There will always be those that don’t get it and never will. As for the Dominatrix Barbies, that doesn’t sound like something to get in an uproar about. I certainly would not want to have someone go through all of my belongings and put them all out on exhibit for judgement, but then I doubt that my vanilla neighbors next door (or Ms Orth for that matter) would want that either.

Laurent – Yes, I remember when that happened. I hope that you are having a better time now and that you will continue to enjoy the world of spanking. I’m very thankful that you are back and that you did not permanently delete your blog as that would have been a terrible loss.

dana – I’m happy to hear that you have spent most of your life being ok with your interest and have been fulfilled most of the time. I hope you continue to enjoy the thoughts and perhaps more experiences in the future.

Schwarz – I say we are normal. Maybe it’s those that don’t enjoy spanking that aren’t!

funbun – It must be wonderful to have your talents as an artist to use to help process your thoughts and dreams. And I’m very glad you so kindly share your art then with other spankos!!

justme – I’m glad that you now accept it and can allow yourself to enjoy it. There is an awful lot of spanking references in the “vanilla” world as you mentioned. I don’t think we are really all that “out there”.

tim – That’s great that you have never tried to shy away from your interest. Charlie and Sarah were great. Lots more big spanks coming!

Jenni – I thank God for the internet too. I can’t imagine how isolated we might feel otherwise.

Lorraine – That is a good way of looking at it and I’m glad you never felt any nagging guilt.

TigerLily – I used to worry that others could read my spanking thoughts when I was a little kid. I still have that passing worry today that maybe someone will be able to interpret my blush or body language when the subject of spanking comes up. I totally accept my interest as a part of me, but I still don’t want just anyone knowing.

Dr. Ken – If you have to have a bug, let it be a spanking one. And see the good doctor as necessary.

Poppa Mark – Oh no! Sorry that your wife has such firmly opposing views on spanking. I’m glad that you are still able to be such a vibrant part of the spanking community though.

mitch – Glad you decided to come back and are planning on staying!! You’d be greatly missed if you left.

Tony – Well, I’m very glad you’re a part of the family.

Gord – Sometimes it can be hard to understand our interest as it can be so contradictory as you mentioned with the desire to spank but not hurt. It can be even harder then to explain it to others. But I’m glad that you have reached the point that you are comfortable with what you feel and desire.

allie – Again, thank goodness for the internet making it possible for us to feel safe in exploring the world of spanking and meeting so many others that share the desire with us. What a shame though that you lost a one of a kind item like the signed school paddle. I hope you never endure another cleaning out phase again.

Kim – Thank you! I’m glad that PB is able to offer you the style of content you are looking for and that you also like my blog. I greatly enjoy both filming and blogging as it not only helps to scratch my spanking itch, but it has allowed me to connect to so many others that share the interest.

Sassy – I’m very glad I didn’t succeed in going 100% vanill too. I wonder how different (and more boring) my life would be. I’m happy that you didn’t go vanilla either and that you’re staying true to your spanko self!

^Mike – I for one am very happy that you have chosen to embrace your love of spanking. It actually sounds like you have a much healthier balance now than you did years ago.

jan – No vanilla for you!

D – I think you can be pretty deep into the scene and not be a site member. Lots of free and even offline ways to try to satisfy that desire. As for Latin vs spanking, yeah, I’d say spanking wins every time.

Southern Expat – I think it has to be impossible to truly change. You can strongly deny it, but can you really make yourself change that completely?

Chrissy – Isn’t it funny how it all comes tumbling back once you were reminded? I can’t quite figure out the love-hate feelings either. Sometimes when I’m getting spanked I question why it is that I am doing it when the pain is so unpleasant. And then soon after the spanking is over, I’m grinning and want to play again.

2Good – Sorry that being an observer only is annoying at times. I hope that you may get a true itch scratching spanking in r/l though one day. I know that little halo of yours is propped up by horns.

Winchester – Thank goodness spanking is far healthier than smoking. This kind of smoking butt is doctor recommended.

Dave – While I’m sorry that you have had to deal with the mixed emotions about spanking too, I’m glad that you came to the point of deleting your blog only a couple of days after its creation. It would be awful if we lost what you have created by now!

In fact, when I first started my blog 2 years ago, after a few days I deleted it, as I felt somewhat embarrased and silly of the notion of creating a blog about (gasp!) this spanking kink! A few days later, I started the blog over again.

There’s been several times when I threw in the trash my small spanko erotica collection, only to regret that move a few months later.

But most of us perhaps are hard-wired. Born with it. We are who we are. That doesn’t make it any easier, but better to *try* to embrace it….

Since finding the sites, blogs and PB, I am not able to stop thinking about it completely or stop going online to seek it out. I probably think of spanking at least once a day. I wondered if being simply an observer, reading and watching online, not participating, would be enough to “scratch the itch” so to speak. Part of me thinks it’s only proving to annoy me. There is too much spanko in me to avoid thinking about it or going online. So it’s good enough.

I think it’s very interesting that you tried to give it up. You are so into the scene now. It’s hard to completely avoid something you like so much though.

Funny you should ask, I was just thinking about this like two days ago .
My story is similar to yours in many ways, but just a little bit different in the details. I’ve had this interest in spanking since I was very young too, I just didn’t realize it was actually an INTEREST IN SPANKING until I grew a little older. In fact, I had many other things going through my mind, so I didn’t really take time to ask myself why I had a weird feeling when I heard or saw words like “spanking” or “punishment” or references to them.
After some time, I realized that I liked the idea of playing spanking (which I got to play only once with a classmate, after school of course), especially of being spanked. I couldn’t explain why I liked spanking while hating pain, so I thought it was a weird thing that would just fade away as I grew up. But I didn’t actually do anything to reject it, on the contrary, sometimes I found myself daydreaming about spanking stories. That was the only thing I could do, since I was too afraid to share my interest with anyone (I thought it was a strange kink in the first place). Now, I did have the computer, but it never occured to me that I could find something in the Net or that there were others who had that very same interest.
Then it worried me that it didn’t seem to wane a bit, so I decided to get it completely out of my mind. It wasn’t even that hard, I just found myself other things to do and my vanilla life went on smoothly.
But then how is it that I’m writing this post in a spanking blog? Well, after quite a long time, a few years later, I accidentaly found a spanking video (I don’t even remember how), that made me realize that MAYBE there were others like me in the world after all. So I did some research, as I felt that my spanking interest had never gone away, it was just asleep burst out like never before.
I still don’t know how a person can hate pain and like spanking at same time, but I’ve come to think that it’s just something inside us, in the blood, the DNA or whatever.

BTW, the phrase “taking a walk on the Appalachian Trail” came up in the recent sex scandal of South Carolina governor Mark Sanford. This is where he claimed to be when he was, in fact, with his mistress in Argentina.