Do I really like to get spanked? The simple answer is yes, but of course there never truly is a simple answer.
Even as a little kid I was fascinated by the concept of spanking, but I sure as heck didn’t like getting them. On the rare occasion that I did get spanked growing up, it was anything but enjoyable. It was frightening, embarrassing, confusing and of course, very painful. My experiences didn’t halt (and note, nor did they foster) my interest. I still sought the thrill of reading a passage about corporal punishment in books and became flustered when catching a reference to spanking on TV.
I’m not sure that much has really changed since I was a kid. If I were to receive an unexpected, non-consensual spanking today, I would be terrified and humiliated. But I continue to seek that little thrill I get from spanking references and even seek consensual spanking experiences of my own. These consensual spankings allow me to experience first hand a heightened version of the charge I’d get from viewing a spanking photo or movie, hopefully free of abject humiliation and fear for my safety.
I like many, many aspects of the consensual spanking. I love the anticipation, the interaction, the sass, the struggle, the sensation of a particularly thuddy swat, the redness, the warmth, the floaty glow, the possible marks, and the dull ache to remind me of everything else I experienced every time I try to sit down for the next day or so.
When it comes to the actual spanking itself though, I can’t say I love the pain. In fact, I think it’s much closer to hate than love. And yet I need it. I absolutely need a good deal of pain to be inflicted during a spanking or I won’t be able to experience all of the other joys that surround it. There’s little to anticipate if my spanking won’t hurt. Probably won’t get very red or have any lingering sensations if my bottom is only rubbed and patted. And in the moment, as much as I hate the pain, that’s exactly what I need for the spanking to feel right and real to me.
I hate the sting, I hate the burn, I hate the heavy swats that promise to launch me into next week. I truly hate it when I start to feel scared and wonder how much more I can take because the pain is so intense that I’m feeling a little queasy, my palms are sweating like crazy, and my face is as red as my bottom. I truly hate the pain as it’s happening, but it’s essential. It allows me to kick, fuss, brat, react genuinely, and then experience all of the other positives that come along in making a fantasy a reality … and then basking in the red bottomed afterglow.
So do I like spanking? Yes, very much.
May 15th, 2009 - 2:53 am
This was wonderful to read, Pixie. It is always gratifying to hear women talk about why they love to be spanked. I have heard many other reasons, and it is true that spankos are so dynamic and have their own stories and reasons for loving our little kink.
Like you, I got my interest at a young age too. When I was about five I saw a report on the news about spanking….it entranced me to no end. After that another child and I seemed to love playing the strict daddy, naughty daughter role. (Note for the record we were both around five and six at the time.) I remember trying to use anything we could get our hands on as a spanking implement…not always the best idea but the point is I think we are all destined with our desires at an early age. You can agree or disagree to that but I feel it to be true.
Now for some reason I am just having thoughts of questions I have wanted to ask you….maybe you could answer them in another post or just email me, and apologies if you have already answered these.
How far do you go to establish the trust with the people you let spank you? I know Sarah recently allowed David to spank her; and on her blog she says it takes a lot of trust for her to let a man spank her. I am just curious how well you demand to know and trust someone (male or female) before you let them spank you. Me personally I can not even touch a woman without having known her for a long time and trust her….and I do mean just simple innocent touching like a hug…pat on the back etc…. So you can imagine how I am when it is more than that…. Anyways back to you…
Well I did have other questions but I forgot them now…ten hour work days can do that to you
Oh well, thanks again for the great post and as always best wishes from your fan down in VA.
Drew Gray
May 15th, 2009 - 7:23 am
Dear Pixie,
You are very articulate in the way you describe the difference between the fears of childhood and the happiness of consensual spanking.
I realize that, if you are so understanding of your own feelings, you won’t for a moment hesitate to be understanding of others’ feelings.
That’s the emotional connection I have with you..it makes me feel safe.
Above all, it makes me love to say, “You are my friend!”
May 15th, 2009 - 11:17 am
Do you and your hubby experience other toys like floggers or whips ..when its just you two at home alone ?
May 15th, 2009 - 1:52 pm
Oh yes, dear Pixie, I know you liked to be spanked. And I know that you don’t derive and sexual stimulation from it, because that would have been evident long ago. The reason I know this is because we come from two different “schools” of spanking…you can take a spanking and carry on pretty much like before, except for a sore backside. Me, on the other hand, if I administer a spanking, or often if I even THINK about spanking a particular girl, I get aroused…very obviously aroused. And I’ve been that way for a great many years, because I was hard-wired that way at the factory — for want of a better description. It seems to be that a fellow like me would have a hard time (no pun intended) if he were a spanker at PB or one of the other great spanking sites where slightly-older gentlemen are constantly spanking beautiful young girls over their laps or in other very submissive positions.
That goes as well for the girls. So far I haven’t seen evidence of an aroused girl on the receiving (or giving) end of a spanking. I think that either male or female would have trouble concealing their sexual arousal. My curiousity almost
forces me to ask a question, but my good sense says No. But if I were to ask it it would sound something like this — “Miss, have you ever been spanked by a male who was obviously erect as you squirmed across his lap?”
I’ll bet it happens more often that we the public know. Normally I wouldn’t bother to bring it up. But I have to believe that there are occurences from time to time of either
outright arousal or carefully-concealed (and therefore uncomfortable) arousal between spankers and their oh so delicious victims like Abi Whittaker, Chloe Elise, and of course the ever-popular Miss Amber Wells.
Now that I’ve made my point I don’t quite know how to get out of this, and so I’ll just say goodbye and best wishes.
Oh, did I tell you how crazy I am about you? Oh yes that’s right, I did. Cheers!
May 15th, 2009 - 11:23 pm
Serial Spanker,
You and I are apparently from different schools of spanking machismo.
I’m a straight male, married with three children, and I’ve had the pleasure of spanking three gorgeous females in spanking videos.
But in a video production, you must always remember to stay in character, remember the script (what there is of one, anyway), and keep the action going until the director calls “cut!”
In other words, it is a JOB. It’s fun in a way, yes; but first it is a job you are hired to do. And that takes concentration, which means you are not free to indulge in your own pleasures of the flesh while working.
I’ll bet if YOU were ever to be hired to spank Chloe Elise, Amber Pixie Wells, or other beauties, you would realize that you are doing a job. Erections are not part of the job.
Cheers,
Dan
May 16th, 2009 - 2:51 am
And we are SO glad you do
I still envy the lucky guys who get to play with you. Excellent blog entry, Pixie. Very good insights.
May 16th, 2009 - 3:01 am
Dan N. wrote: ” I’ll bet if YOU were ever to be hired to spank Chloe Elise, Amber Pixie Wells, or other beauties, you would realize that you are doing a job. Erections are not part of the job.”
And here I had this great line about, “Could it be considered one of the “perks”?”
Ah, well…back to the drawing board….
Dr. Ken
May 16th, 2009 - 3:45 am
Dear Pixie,
Thank you very much for your thoughts and comments about spanking as to “liking it”. I appreciate your openness as to your feeling about it now and while growing up.
Charlie
May 16th, 2009 - 3:46 am
Part of a job….forgive me for commenting twice but that is just something that I not sure I would like to consider it, and it is a reason I would never be a spanker on a website or go to a party or anything like that.
I guess for me it is more of an emotional thing, that fact that someone would trust me to do that is what I need from it. So while I do not look down on anyone who does this for a “job” I could never do it. Maybe I am just really weird but I couldn’t do it as a job or without any emotional attachment to the woman.
As far as the point serial spanker brought up, this is very good. I have never gotten aroused at any pb spankings because my mind can distinguish the difference. I mean parent/child spankings shouldn’t be erotic. However the point is sometimes the factories that made us (to use serial spanker’s term) makes it so that some guys are aroused by any movement in the area. It doesn’t mean anything and sometimes it happens for no reason. For that reason, Dan N, I think you are slightly off the point. It can happen even if you don’t want it to. Case and point, in working at my job (door factory) I was putting the vinyl on the door and for some reason I got aroused. I was only thinking of the door and it just happened. Erections are not part of door making but it is natural to happen at random. Therefore I think Serial spanker has a very legitimate question.
And Pixie….it would seem we have given you a lot more things to think about and answer…
May 16th, 2009 - 4:16 am
Often I have stated that spanking is an “Act of Love” to me.
But that doesn’t mean it’s always sexually laden.
It depends on so many circumstances.
When I want to make love with my lady, yes, a nice spanking will have wonderful effects and will certainly arouse me.
When I spank somebody for punishment, it wouldn’t arouse at all.
When spanking somebody in front of a camera, it wouldn’t arouse me either as it lacks the intimacy needed to get aroused.
Does watching a lovely girl like Pixie getting spanked arouse..??
Of course! You need to be cold as steel NOT to get aroused by seeing lovely models at PB getting spanked. They are beautiful women after all and watching their naked buttocks getting smacked is highly erotic.
Could write a book about the ‘eroticsm of spanking’, but guess it’s better to spank a lovely girl than writing a book (or even making spanking drawings, lol)
((((Hugs)))) Funbun
May 16th, 2009 - 5:56 am
I now vow to work in the term “thuddy” into my daily discourse until it becomes my nickname. Good word.
Very articulate. You do an excellent job of honesty in putting down into words that which is paradox. My pet theory is that humans evolved though eons of pain, terror, and fear. We evolved, and did so with excellence. We did it so well that now even wolves, great white sharks, and student loan directors fear us. We did it so well that life is soft, safe, and we only feel pain when something goes wrong we immediately label it a “tragedy,” with no regard to irony.
Yet our genes haven’t changed, nor has our nature. We were built to be pushed, to push ourselves, to go all the way to the edge then hold the line against beast or weather or come-what-may. That we delight in the sting of battle is well proven. Endorphins, adrenalin, peripheral and central nervous system fully actualized, the mental satisfaction of keeping our sanity from disassociation under acute decompensation (not to mention the break from chronic stress which saps our will but allows no concrete moments of glory via post triumph after pitched battles). It is only a pet theory of mine but it fits the facts I think.
Then of course there is the intimacy of going over the knee, hip to hip, the voluntary abnegation of self-defense (what could be a better stress test of trust? And if we humans need each other, what is more important than trust? After all we are are not spiders).
Also you look, as ever, as cute as a high budget Hollywood criminal scheme, a la Ocean’s 11. Pretty damn cute, if you don’t have the proper conversion tables handy.
PB
May 16th, 2009 - 6:57 am
A very well articulated entry Pixie. Gold Star. You really manage to translate emotions into intelligent statements.
In fact, I am inspired to do likewise. I too was fascinated with spanking from an early age which stemmed from my precocious admiration of the female bottom. One of my earliest infatuations was Ms Heather Thomas in The Fall Guy, especially when she came through those swing doors in that small bikini! That got a young man’s attention. I was never formally spanked as a child, although I got my mother’s hand around my leg or head when it was warranted and it was not fun at all.
I am definitely cut from the same cloth as Mr Serial Spanker as I am very aroused by spanking, especially when within an erotic context (as my Shadow Lane collection will attest), and all types of spanking can have this effect on me when within this context.
But I can enjoy a spanking for itself and this probably goes back to my comment on one of your earlier posts concerning my concepts of justice. If a party has wronged another, then that party is justifiably punished with a spanking, the essential premise of Punished Brats. And, I repeat myself, many a good spanking has left me cold because it does not feel justified to me. This is because I associate the feelings you describe, the pain, humiliation and fear with the event and empathise with the ‘victim’.
For me, a spanking is a power trip and, given my concepts of justice, a worthy and essentially noble one. A spanking is a great conflict resolution as a problem is identified and corrected quickly (relatively), efficiently and thoroughly and is, thereafter a closed subject. No recriminations, no hard feelings, just the welcome reconciliation between the parties involved. Whether a hug between parent and child or more intimate kisses between lovers, a spanking like this is truly justice done.
Well that’s what I think anyway.
May 16th, 2009 - 9:26 am
Pixie welcome back hope you had a nice time .doi like spanking//?yes love watching them acted out ,as a child i enjoyed seeing in the comics ,the little girl and little boy characters otk.their parents or teachers knees being spanked etc . in the latest p.b. nyssa was being a little brat but David tamed her .lots of love and spanks from tim xxxx
May 16th, 2009 - 2:08 pm
Forgive me also for commenting twice, but to me Amber Pixie Wells is much more than just a sexual object for your wandering eyes..although I don’t blame anyone for finding her beautiful.
She’s kind and understanding. I like her most of all because she likes bubblegum..
That’s enough for me..
May 16th, 2009 - 2:19 pm
Hi, Pixie glad you are back an hope you had a good time. About your post, I have read it three or four time an it scars me. I can see where there could be trouble down the road. I know people will say Im wrong and I hope I am but I see it. So watch it. You have a good day, to many ears an eyes around have to go Bye Bye Ed
May 16th, 2009 - 6:20 pm
Pixie,
I both love and hate spanking!!! I’ve gone through the “Am I normal” phase and I’ve even had the fortunate oportunity to speak to educated people, even counselors who have not neccesarily shared my feelings but they understood them. I’m not a “pain freak” but I do enjoy the surrendering, even for a short time, to another individual. When I was young, at some point I associated being spanked with being cared for. As I grew older I kept that feeling and I met people who KNEW how I felt. I made some bad choices early and being spanked help me to get rid of the quilt I carried around. I’m convinced that this fascination … this NEED, may never go away … but thats okay.
(And just a side note on earlier posts, Angel does not get sexually excited when he spanks me. He has even cried a couple of times because he understood why it had to be REAL, it had to hurt!!)
We’re not all wired the same … but we probably share a lot!!
Linde
May 17th, 2009 - 1:01 am
Pixie…..a perfect description of exactly the way I feel about spanking. Thank you. And Pallidbust – I think you’re on to something.
Kyler
May 17th, 2009 - 4:06 am
Hi Pixie!
Like you I, too, liked to be spanked, but I also like to spank as well. But for me the question is rather simple: how hard do I like it? Well, I like it fairly hard, but some days I can tolerate more intensity than others; it all depends on how hard and how often I have played.
As a kid, I was more than fascinated by the concept of spanking; I actively engaged in the practice by playing both roles, for I dare not involve anyone else out of a genuine fear of discovery, a fear that I still have today. However, when I was a kid I didn’t go out of my way, either, to be spanked by adults; rather, I did the utmost to avoid physical punishment. Yes, there was the pain of the spanking, but the possibility of having both my body and psychological boundaries violated were more of a concern to me than humiliation or physical discomfort. Besides, rarely if ever did I cause my parents trouble or grief, even as a teenager.
In your situation while growing up, you say that actual spankings did little to foster an interest in the practice, but yet you were drawn to stories about spanking or catching glimpses of it on TV, and then feeling flustered by it. Do you have any idea what might have motivated this interest?
All my adult spankings have been consensual and have only occurred with my wife. I have not played with anyone else, nor do I want to. Again, like you, if a spanking were forced upon me, I would not like it, and the experience would be nothing more than a combination of torture and rape. Consent is everything; feeling comfortable and emotionally close to my spanking partner is very important. Spanking for me is a very personal and intimate exchange, something I don’t feel comfortable sharing with most people.
I don’t feel pain quite the same way as you, Pixie, but then I’m not a professional spanking model either. I like many of the same tactile sensations that you have reported, but I also like the sting as well; that is, what I can feel of it. My body has an uncanny ability to shut down its pain receptors, which makes a spanking more than tolerable, even enjoyable. But then again I don’t indulge in caning, whippings, or brutal paddling. I must be careful, though, of my heart; I can take only so much stimulation before an ischemic event is triggered, followed by fibrillation.
You say that you need a good deal of pain in order for you to enjoy the other aspects of a spanking and to also get the sense that the spanking was real. Would you say that spanking for you is a reliving of the spankings you received as a child or the spankings that you feared you might have received? Are spankings another way for you to experience emotional states you would not otherwise have access to? I know it is for me.
May 17th, 2009 - 10:23 pm
Is there a particular way you get through your tougher spankings? Do you focus on the pain or try not to? Are you relaxed or is there a bit of adrenaline involved? Is there anything that distracts you like thinking about your next line in the scene?
May 18th, 2009 - 9:29 am
Pixie look forward to your next post and your comments.wow lovely Sarah had a n exacting spanking fromDavid she yelled throughout looked cute in her jammies until they and her pantieswere teken down and her bare bottie got it .Love and spanks from tim by the way i note that your vid with Clare on my spanking roommate is featured this week looks good shall watch it soon ,xxxx
May 18th, 2009 - 10:51 am
Well said! It IS a complicated explanation. “Well, yeah I like spanking, but I really don’t like spanking….” LOL.
The need, the effect of the spanking. THAT’S what is desirable.
g.
May 18th, 2009 - 1:12 pm
Dear Pixie,
I know a lady out East who told me pretty much the same thing. Does she like the pain of a spanking? No, definitely not! But that’s not the attraction (for want of a better word). The appeal to hear is everything else–earning it, anticipating it, preparing for it, getting lost in it. It pushes many emotional and mental buttons for her, and that’s what she responds to. It’s not a sexual response, but it does meet some need.
For myself as a spanker, I have a similar response. I find spanking to be erotic, but it’s mostly a mental and emotional response on my part as opposed to physical arousal. I keep spanking and sex seperate. I don’t know why it works that way for me, but it does.
Dr. Ken
May 18th, 2009 - 5:45 pm
Schwarz – You asked some great questions and I’d be happy to address them in a post of their own. Also feel free to email me and we can chat some more if you have other questions you’d like to pose.
dani – It’s a night and day between consensual and the non-consensual spanking experiences. I find that writing this blog helps me a lot in working through my own thoughts and feelings about spanking and the feedback that I get here also helps to reassure me that I’m far from alone.
Crystal – I’ve never felt a flogger or a whip. My husband occasionally uses toys like the brush, paddle, or our cat toy riding crops, but usually he uses his hand.
Serial Spanker – In casual conversation with some of the cast members on our site, I know that some do get turned on from spankings in general, but the experience of spanking or being spanked on set in a scene that is not overtly erotic is very different than an intimate spanking between two people privately. There is definite chemistry between some pairings, but with the cameras, lights, crew, and other cast members as well as the desire to maintain a professional demeanor, I don’t think onset outright arousal is as common outside as you might imagine. Again, chemistry between two players does occur and I can think of at least one pairing that I believe would have enjoyed a bit of private time, but even when there is arousal or attraction, the players maintain a professional air on set.
Dan N – very good insight, Dan. Thank you.
007 – Thanks!
Dr. Ken – You are too funny.
Charlie – I’m glad you enjoyed this entry. It really did help to sort things out in my own mind a bit.
Schwarz – Feel free to comment as often as you’d like. Definitely crosses a line in my book to feature any sort of sexual attraction between parent and child. Eeep. That’s a big squick factor for me.
Just as with men experiencing an erection without true arousal (as in your case working on the door and I assume the door wasn’t anything really exciting) women may appear wet when not actually stimulated. But I think in Serial Spanker’s comment, he was specifically referring to becoming turned on by the girl over his lap rather than it being coincidence or caused by incidental contact only.
Funbun – I greatly enjoyed your explanation and reading the distinctions you make between spankings as foreplay and spankings for discipline. The situation surrounding the spanking makes a huge difference.
Pallidbust – I think your pet theory is very well thought out and sound. Excellent!
D – You gave me something to think about in assessing my own preferences in watching videos. I always like when there is a little bit of a storyline to explain or demonstrate why the spankee is deserving of the punishment. While many times the punishment probably exceeds what would truly be given in real life, we have to push the boundaries of reality at times in order to offer a long and intense enough spanking for viewing on a website. But when the girl appears to be a true victim, that doesn’t push my buttons. And when the embarrassment of a spanking crosses over to insults and an intent to demean, I’m turned off entirely. We all have our own preference though, I know, and so what leaves us cold is exactly what heats someone else up to boiling.
tim – I had a lovely vanilla vacation with my family. If only my dad would overcome his resistance to wifi, I would have been even more relaxed not having to worry about snagging the cable line in the middle of the night to keep on top of urgent PB matters and updates!
dani – Thanks! I like to be well-rounded and hope that it comes through.
Ed – Why does it scare you?
Linde – “We’re not all wired the same … but we probably share a lot!!” That is a brilliant statement.
Kyler – I’m glad you can relate. And I nominate Pallidbust to lead the research team on spanking theory and practice.
Annpurna – I don’t know why I developed this interest. I think it was something that was born wired to enjoy. The spankings I receive these days are in no way a means of reliving the spankings I received as a child. In fact I dislike doing father/daughter scenes as whole because I don’t want to do anything that would even come close to what I may have once actually experienced. Spankings are a release, fun, stress relieving, and so much more than I think I can describe briefly.
2Good – I like the challenge of doing harder scenes. I’m definitely not relaxed though. Adrenaline is a huge help in getting through. Rather than focus on anything, I prefer to just let go – a rare moment of giving up control and liking it. I actually dislike having a lot of lines to worry about when I’m doing a more intense scene because I’m pretty distracted by the pain.
tim – Glad you enjoyed Sarah’s latest update. Good stuff!
ginger – Exactly! Who knew that spanking was so complex?
Dr. Ken – There is so much more to spanking than the actual smacking of the bottom. Everything that goes on before and after plays a huge part too.
May 20th, 2009 - 11:26 am
Dear Dan (whoever you are) I don’t believe I was addressing you when I made my comments. I was simply trying to show a side of spanking that definitely does exist, whether you’d like to white-wash it and deny it or not. I am well aware of the “professional” side of the camera, make-up, costumes and so forth. But to be a smart ass to me when I wasn’t even addressing you shows me how much class you have in the end.
May 20th, 2009 - 1:08 pm
[...] which I still hope to do either tonight or by the weekend. There is also a debate going on over on Pixie’s blog regarding sexual stirrings during a spanking scene. In the comments section The Serial Spanker offered an opinion and Dan N replied with an opinion [...]
May 20th, 2009 - 6:45 pm
gosh!!! what a lot to think about.
untill this moment i thot there were only 2 kinds of spankings; punishment & funishment. now a 3rd option has popped up; acting spanking as in making a video or performing on stage. this last 1 has been there all along but as it only affects so few i never thot about it b4.
as 4 funishment, that is spanking beetween 2 consenting adults in privacy: yes sex does come into it. if both partners feelgood & r into it then a spanking can b the prelude 4 great sex.
punishment is another ball of wax. when i have spanked to punish i have never been aroused. just the opposite. anger (if any) gives way to saddness. and i firmly believe that after the fires r banked, & the burning given way 2 a dull ache, then a girl needs to b hugged, held, cuddled, caressed, & get lot of vocal reassurances that she is loved & cherished & everything u ever wanted or could want. gentle & tender r the opperative words. & she has the right 2 sweet orgasm. no wham bamm macho man here. use an alternative technique as her bottom may not b ready for anything else. of course it should b her choice & should she want babymaking, so mote it b.
as for acting i see no reason why 1 or both actors couldn’t get aroused even as in kissing. almost anything in the world has aroused people at 1 time or another. but on a set there is no way to carry it any further.
just my thots pixie. u have as many facets as a perfect cut 7 carot diamond. & a great blog. if u want my “a tale of two spankings” which covers some of the above, just ask & i’ll email u.
keep up the great work!
as ever
ddon
May 21st, 2009 - 10:24 am
Dear Richard Windsor…If Dan had replied with an intelligent difference of opinion I would have applauded his freedom to do so. But when he took such an obviously smartass attitude in his reply, I objected…and I said so…just like I hope anyone would object to such a condescending juvenile display of opionion…which, by the way, seems to be the norm these days. As we learned on the playground years ago — if you can’t say anything intelligent, then say something offensive. It works every time.