I hope everyone had a great weekend! Our plans for a trip to an amusement park were put on hold due to severe thunderstorms in the area. Would have been a shame to travel 5 hours roundtrip only to stand in the rain while the rides shut down because of lightning. So what do you do when you’re gypped out of your adrenaline rush from thrill rides?
Well, you could always strap on a harness and get tied up with ropes! No, not bondage (although we did get a little playful with the ropes and my bottom received a few swats with the tail end). Our little group headed to the rock gym for a full day of climbing.
Despite my fear of heights, I absolutely love it. I love getting an amazing total body workout, challenging my mind to figure out the best way to reach the top, and the rush I get when I am scared to death but push through to accomplish the goal anyway.
So that was my adventure for the holiday weekend along with some hiking, gardening, and sunning myself by the lake. Oh how I love this time of year!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back to the topic of spanking. A couple of months ago I was chatting with a spanker I’d been introduced to at the SSNY party. While getting to know one another he asked how long I’ve been into spanking and I truthfully replied that I’ve had the interest for as long as I could remember. I told him that even as a very young child I would look up the word ‘spank’ in the dictionary and was titillated by a chance reference to punishment on television. The guy kind of rolled his eyes and said that everyone seems to tell that same story.
I was unsure of how to respond for a moment. Perhaps I had disappointed him by not having a more exciting and unique tale, but it’s the absolute truth. I’m not saying that he didn’t believe me, but I do think he probably has heard very similar accounts from others and was hoping for something different.
I think many of us do share similar experiences especially when first discovering our fascination with spanking. In conversations and email correspondence I’ve had with different people, so many mention the mix of excitement and confusion they felt when they’d witness a spanking or find a reference in mainstream media. I know darn well I’m far from the only one that cracked open the dictionary to the ‘S’ section enough times to permanently bend the binding. And at some point most of us typed the word spank into the computer and discovered the world of online spanking.
Some of us were spanked growing up and others weren’t. Some may have realized their interest very early on while others didn’t until much later as teens or adults. But while we don’t all have identical stories, there do seem to be some common themes and many points that we can related to one another on - at least in the accounts that I’ve heard so far.
So tell me yours. How and when did you first discover your interest in spanking?
May 26th, 2009 - 6:17 pm
First knowingly realized I was erotically moved by spanking was in the second grade when a very pretty teacher, picked up a classmate, put him over one knee while leaning against a wall and gave him a birthday spanking which I felt in my private parts. From then on (and perhaps before) all of my erotic fantasies had to do with spanking. And I did as you did, look it up over and over again in dictionaries, look for passage in books, look for spanking in comic of which then there were many, seek out passages in movies and perk ed my ears up whenever the word was heard. Later I subscribed to one magazine which had spanking letters to the editor and went to a store in NYC which featured spanking movies. But that was later. I started playing — as daddy in seventh grade at the house where I lived and then found out I wasn’t alone in the eighth grade via two things — a neighbor child, a she younger than, me with whom I once playfullyputher over my lap and spanked her and she kept coming back to my house to have her skirt up and her bottom spanked as often as she could come and get me to do it. And I had a music teacher that year who brought the subjectof the class to spanking about every other class and once allowed how spanking was “fun.” While I’m a switch, almost all of my experiences until college with one exception were as atop — because like you, there was an ambivalence, it seemed sexy but you worried that i would hurt badly and you wouldn’t like. In college, after about a year of one-sided spanking my girlfriend and partner wanted to try it the other way and she emnjoyed it and I enjoyed it and so we did both ways almost until we graduated. But that’s rambling beyond what you asked.
May 26th, 2009 - 9:35 pm
The first time i was interested by spanking was when i was 10 i had finally got cable in my bedroom and one fateful summer night i was flipping throught the channels and landed on a show of a woman getting spanked with a paddle kinda weird but it happened non the less
May 26th, 2009 - 10:00 pm
For me it goes back to kindergarten when the teacher playfully put a pupil over her knee and gave them a few light pats on the bottom. I’m 64 and that is a long time.
May 26th, 2009 - 10:21 pm
Well, I honestly believe my fascination came from a self-defence mechanism. A lot of children indulge in playing ‘families’, often with a spanking element. I was still playing that when I was 19, possibly due to much younger cousins, but also almost certainly due to an abusive childhood.
My fascination with internet spanking came when I stumbled across one of the Real Spankings Network sites while doing a school project on laws relating to child abuse. This was also when I finally realised that I had been abused, instead of just treated very harshly, as I had once though. Oh, I never got the belt or anyting, although the threats mounted up to the point where I began to wish I had the guts to just say “Get it over with for God’s sake instead of always threatening,” but that moment never came. I was more used to fists and kicks and belittlement. My skin never marked, so I was ale to be punched on the thighs or around the knees until I couldn’t walk straight, but there was never any evidence.
Anyway, my fascination with internet spanking came when I realised that I felt more sorry for the girl on the screen than I felt for myself. And that had been a few days after one of those punchings, while I was still trying to talk myself out of sulking about it, because I wasn’t actually allowed to cry at the time, and crying several days later for no apparant reason just makes everyone think you’re pathetic and weak.
So, of course, I found some sort of perverse comfort in the scenes I saw online. I started actively seeking them out, desperate for the consolation of having someone who was in a worse situation than I was.
May 26th, 2009 - 11:07 pm
hi punkin,
we now travel back to 1943(i think) like u i can never remember not having an interest in spanking. i don’t remember this but my late mother told this story 2 me several times over the years & it may b what sparked my interest. we lived about a city block from amy (names have been changed 2 protect the innocent) and her family. r families were very close. 1 day amy & i were being taken for a walk in r strollers, side by side (amy & i r almost exactly the same age) & amy reached out & grabbed my hand and gave it a hard bite. while my motherr never mentioned it and sara and my mother never saw it i’d bet the ranch that i had done something 2 deserve that bite.
sara had amy out of her stroller in a nanosecond & smaked her hand, her face, & spanked her long & hard.amy & i went thru high school together & she was like a sister 2 me.
clair, the little girl who lived upstairs in the duplex we rented, was a year younger than i and a bit of an exhibitionist. I am a stone voyoure (not the peeping tom kind but if there’s something 2 see i’m going to look) and she gave me my 1st lessons in female anatomy & i remember giving her spankings in play.
when i was in 1st grade all the boys had a game(?) where we’d sneak up to or run at a girl and give her “the treatment” a smack on the bottom. we couldn’t hit hard enuff 2 really hurt and the girls seemed 2 enjoy the attention in a funny sort of way so this went on 4 awhile. then someone spilled the beans & we were told 2 cut it out. 4 awhile i remember girls looking wistfully at us. boys & girls were separate societies of course. no self respecting boy would admit 2 liking a girl (ohhh..yuck!!! roy’s [rogers] kissing her) so if girls wanted attention from their male peers they had 2 b creative, & they were…u betcha!!!
after that it was birthday spankings and maybe a girl daring u 2 spank her.
i also went 2 the store CurtisG speaks of. kinematicks (sp) i think, below 40th off 7th or 8th ave on the 2nd floor.
the magazine was Mr. i had the great pleasure of meeting the editor W. W. Scott & his lovely wife Genvieve when he was 93 yrs old. his wife was a published author under a nom de plume. when i asked her what it was she stunned me by saying Joyce McIver!!!!!!!!!
any of u who have never read the frog pond or the exquisite thing
should do so soonest. as far as i know these 2 books were the 1st ever 2 deal with a womans desire to b spanked that were in mainstream literature. they r serius works but intimate & not preachy. i’m sure she & scott r gone now & they never talked of children so some enterprising person [pixie] should find out if they r in pd & make few $$$.
just my 2 cents punkin.
stay cool won’tcha
ddon
May 26th, 2009 - 11:43 pm
Pixie,
I am like you. I really don’t remember a time when I did not have an interest in spankings. I didn’t like getting them as a kid but always wanted to know about the ones others got. Hearing moms talk about giving them or seeing a friend, or some unlucky kid marched inside as they were told they would be spanked was always exciting for me.
Derek
May 26th, 2009 - 11:43 pm
With me it is the same as with most others. (Dictionaries, books, magazines, movies, sex surveys, etc)
Became really aware of my spanking feelings at the age of nine.
What might be different though was, that I was fascinated by the small cartoons at the bottom of the newspapers. One series portrayed a “hero woman” in tight black (all cartoons were b&w) costumes, showing off her body.
I copied – with the aid of transparent paper – her body and turned it to such an angle that her bottom was the highest point. I added another female and positioned the copied “hero woman” over her knee.
In this way I created my first drawings of spanking scenes. Incredibly basic drawings, but I couldn’t stop making them. My “hero woman” was spanked over and over again..!!!
Self-developing my drawings skills over the years as I didn’t dare to take drawings classes.
At the age of 17, I had hidden an almost finished drawing under a big book on my desk.
When I came back from school the next day, I found in my mother’s handwriting, written over the top of the drawing: “Exam thesis?”
And at the bottom: “Nice drawing, challenging subject…”
We never exchanged any word about it later. I felt embarrassed at the beginning but later realized that mom had liked the drawing, despite the subject …
I still make many drawings. Mostly FF (some MF) and love it. It’s a nice way to give in to your fantasies without actually spanking. When you get older (I’m 63 now) it’s not easy to find women willing to climb over your knee for a spanking.
Great subject, Pixie (!) as so many of your subjects. You are one of the finest women I know in the spanking scene and hope you will share a lot more with us…
(((((Hugs))))) Funbun
May 27th, 2009 - 12:00 am
My interest started long before I can remember. My first grade teacher used to spank the kids OTK in front of the class. I remember being fascinated by it but the same time embarrassed because I didn’t want to want any one to know I was interested. And yes I wore out the dictionary looking up spanking too. My mother once paddled my older sister when I was too young to remember but my mother always told me that I was outside the window with a strange look on my face.
May 27th, 2009 - 12:36 am
What you need on that rock wall is someone on deck with a “starter”, a kind of long tailed ropes-end used to start the boys up the rigging on the old sailing ships, but I digress…
My interest in spanking is the result of a morbid fear and therefore excitement at the prospect of being reduced to tears by any number of authority figures. I don’t know how I sexualized it. Spanking games such as SPUD (the loser running the gauntlet of the “spanking machine”) and watching other kids getting it bare bottomed (including four older sisters) right in front of me probably helped. I think what should have been the most obvious clue was a whippin’ I got at a boyscout camp. My friend and I had gotten up early to go swimming in the lake. Another scout came to get us saying we were “gonna get it”. When we returned to camp all the other scouts were dressed in uniform in formation and ready to march to Sunday services. Two scoutmasters pulled down our cutoffs and spanked our bare bottoms with a belt in front of the whole troop! I guess the friction of being over a knee aroused something in me and I had the further embarrassment of having to walk back to my tent in front of everyone crying with a blistered butt and a raging hard on. With my juvenile spanking history I could write volumes but I’ve already been too long winded here. It wasn’t until I discovered the internet that I realized I wasn’t alone. I may still be a pervert but at least I have found the company of other perverts at least in cyberspace. I wish I could have come out of the spanking closet earlier. I wish you luck and hope you can revel in your time.
May 27th, 2009 - 12:39 am
Just like every one else, I’ve been fascinated with spanking since a very early age. I can’t even recall how young I was first but it must have been around 7ish. I used to get totally flustered if I read of a spanking in a book or saw a scene on the tv. I wasn’t spanked as a child so the fascination was there without the element of experience. I didn’t really start playing myself until I was 20 at which point I was brave enough to explore my entire kinky side from spanking to bondage, etc. I would say the fact that many of us have similar experiences doesn’t make each individual experience mundane… I do know people who only got into spanking later in life because their partner was interested but they never seem to have the same passion about it as those of my friends who had this awareness from an earlier age.
May 27th, 2009 - 2:01 am
Dear Pixie,
First–how incredibly rude of that spanker to roll his eyes at your answer. Everyone tells that story because–we all did it! When you’re a kid, there’s only so many outlets for you once you discover that there’s a spanking interest, and that includes the home dictionary and encyclopedia. So naturally we looked up the word, we looked at the word, we looked at the definition and looked up the alternative words (and since it was included in the definition, I believe this was also the first time I looked up the word, “buttocks” in the dictionary, as well!).
What is so great about a gathering of Spanko folks is, in fact, these shared experiences that we discover. It’s all part of that, “Hey, I’m not alone in this!” realization, and I for one never get tired of hearing that somebody else reacted exactly like I did. So, shame on that gentleman!
My first great reveal–well, I want to save the story for use on my blog at some point, but the short version is that I saw a spanking in a matinee movie on TV and was totally enthralled by the scene. I’d seen spankings on TV movies and shows before, but apparently I was finally old enough where it got through to me.
Dr. Ken
May 27th, 2009 - 4:58 am
I blame my interest on two things back when I was around five years old. First I saw a report on the show 20/20 about spanking….and have been an addict ever since. I was enamored of it and loved the idea.
Also, there was a young girl a little younger than me when I was a little kid that liked to play with me. It was weird because one of the things we played was father and daughter. She had a bratty side to her and then, if memory serves me correctly I said something like what am I going to have to do. She then said you will have to spank me. I was in shock…but I did it after a while….and a couple more times thereafter. It was fun and looking back I have to ask myself so much. I mean it seems so strange that we did this when we were both so young at the time we had never even heard of sex, let alone understand it(not that we had sex, but I am trying to give an idea of how young we were).
A few years after that my spanking interest grew greatly but I couldn’t help but feel sick and wrong. I was brought up in a Christian family and spanking for pleasure was just “horrible” because it led to abuse of women and domestic violence, or so they said. However there was a part of me that didn’t feel like I was wrong and that didn’t feel like God hated me for liking spanking. Then I found, believe it or not, people in Christian spanking communities. There were two things I noticed about such communities, A) NEVER had I found such loving and caring women ANYWHERE else other than these communities. I was in awe… B) There was also such worry among these ladies because believing that spanking for fun was okay with their husbands or boyfriends was considered the unpardonable sin. I remember hearing some of these ladies tell stories of what happened when people found out. Stories that both saddened and angered me. People can be so cruel.
After that I looked into other avenues of spanking, mainly websites and blogs. I found out how accepted it was and realized I am no outcast for liking this, and I refuse to believe I am wrong in it. I am not an immoral person because I watch and like it. Though many people would think I am. Now I am sure my beliefs are strange. I refuse to attend a spanking party or hook up with someone just for spanking. For example, Pixie, I love you honey, you are great, but if I ever was given an opportunity to spank you I would have to respectfully decline…because I cannot bring myself to touch another man’s wife or girlfriend. Weird I know, but to me spanking has a very very high emotional connection with it. It is perfectly fine if someone else wants to do differently, I don’t see things like going to a spanking party as wrong, but I just have to have an emotional connection. Sure needing connection has meant that that time I spoke of years ago with that girl was the only time I ever got to spank but I really don’t care too much. Oh well enough about emotional connections….I am a strong man so I guess I am not supposed to have them.
As to the other questions; I don’t think I ever looked it up for the definition, but I did look it up in the languages I speak/am learning. With french I know like ten words, but one of them is Fessée….
Lastly with being spanked as a child (a common question) yeah I was….spanked, choked and beaten by an abusive father. Yeah, it was kinda harsh but I learned that you never….well…you know there is never a good reason to choke your child. But as for just spanking I thank them for my learning at an early age to never talk back, be respectful, be responsible, and courteous. Lessons that have led me to impress so many in the working world. I do believe spanking, not abuse, can be an effective child-rearing tool. It is not the end-all solution to everything though. Punishment should fit the crime. IE don’t spank a child every time they do wrong.
Anyway…I guess that is enough I will close with wishing you a good day and thanking you for the photography advice.
Sincerely,
Drew Gray
May 27th, 2009 - 10:16 am
pixie glad you had a good time ,we have rain and winds today should be sunnier later in the week .yes my spanking interest started like you in childhood references in books comic papers a teacher putting a little girl o.tk. in class and spanking her with us watching she enjoyed it he a male teacher while his wife was teaching upstairs the teachers spanked with the slipper so we had to behave lol.love and spanks from tim xxxx p.s. enjoyed watching LilyAnna getting whacked by Vannessaand you with her at the beginning .
May 27th, 2009 - 12:33 pm
Another great topic, Pixie. Like so many, I have had an interest in spanking for as long as I can recall. I remember seeing cartoons on TV that included someone getting spanked and getting a funny, fluttery feeling in the pit of my stomach. That was when I was three or four. I also used the dictionary to look up spanking-related words when I was a bit older. Though the interest was always there, I don’t think I fully realized how deeply ingrained spanking was in my psyche until I reached adolescence. Long before I heard of Nu-West or Shadow Lane, all the fantasies my fevered brain conjured up involved spanking in some form.
I agree with Dr. Ken that that spanker shouldn’t have rolled his eyes at your answer. One of the greatest moments in a spanko’s life is when they realize they aren’t alone in their fascination with all things spanking. Sharing our common feelings and experiences is what binds the spanking community together. That, and blogs like yours.
May 27th, 2009 - 1:58 pm
I walk past a climbing gym every day and have never tried it – shame on me!
I’m afraid it’s eye-rolling time for me too. Yep – looked it up in the dictionary, enjoyed it in comic books, on TV and in books. My dolls would have been black and blue if that had been possible. I played house – which always included lots of spanking – with school friends and cousins.
I think my interest goes back to when I was four. My aunt and her son, who was my age, came for a visit. I saw her give him an OTK spanking. She also fondled his bum a lot, and he in turn patted and rubbed mine because that was what they did in his family. That was also my first exposure to how little boys differed from little girls, when I saw him peeing. I think it all came together for me then.
May 27th, 2009 - 4:25 pm
Pixie, sweetie, I’m right there with you: “As long as I can remember,” the dictionary thing (that one is really weird, that it’s so common), the thrill on finding and saving references and the occasional depiction in the mainstream media (Sunday comics, MAD magazine). Another early adolescent habit of mine was lurking in the Child Care sections of book stores, and using indexes to look up passages about spanking — it got so I knew each “expert” author’s particular stance on the subject. My ears would perk up when other kids around me would make reference. Spanking would often be a theme when I played make-believe with friends (but alas, I never had the courage to be naughty enough to suggest any bottom-baring; I’ve been retroactively jealous when, as an adult, I’ve read other people’s childhood accounts of taking that plunge).
However, as much as I savored hearing other kids talk about spanking — and often tried to steer conversations to the topic — I would feel intensely embarrassed and want to disappear into the floorboards when adults would start talking about it around me. (Overhearing the conversation from another room would have been fine, but there was something about their knowing that I was hearing it that I didn’t like — perhaps because I figured they saw me as someone who probably got spanked from time to time, or at least potentially could.) I remember thinking how weird it was that other kids (the ones I noticed, anyway) often seemed to have no problem mentioning spankings — even their own — in front of adults: For a lot of kids, being spanked wasn’t really a touchy subject unless it had just happened, or was just about to. (This was at a time when it was more or less assumed that every kid was spanked once in a while.) It took some time before I began to realize that I was the one who was weird.
(If kids are divided into “spanked” and “not spanked” categories, I was definitely on the spanked side — my parents believed in it, and were willing to put theory into practice when I deserved it. However, the most I can ever remember happening was couple of impromptu sharp swats — not what any respectable spanko would even call a spanking. I just wasn’t a kid who needed to be punished very much; I was the type for whom just getting a sharp talking-to and knowing that I had disappointed my parents was enough. However, as a child I was very aware that, if my parents decided that I had earned one, I COULD be subjected to a real, “event”-type spanking — previously announced, nervously anticipated, bare-bottomed, OTK — the type that occupied SO very much of my imagination and emotions.)
As a preteen, I became increasingly aware that I was different from most (all?) other kids I knew, with my preoccupation and strong emotional attachment to spanking. At some point — probably around 12 or 13 — I became aware of another dimension to the whole weird thing: The physical reaction that would unfailingly happen whenever I would read or think about spanking. (I actually remember being in a book store one day, reading up on spanking in the Child Care section, and thinking something like, “Wait a minute, this isn’t random.”) This made it even harder (ha ha) to accept in myself, and really made me feel like the biggest freak in the world.
But that feeling of freakishness wasn’t strong enough to make me avoid the stimulus — I still sought in any way I could. I have already written here some time ago about how, in my mid-teens, I would take advantage of opportunities when I was home alone (and actually once or twice out in the woods) to try spanking myself with various implements (pink plastic bath brush worked best) — always with a whole imaginary scenario playing in my head. (The anticipation was always the best part — especially since self-spanking is always such a huge disappointment — as I would position myself, bent over and bare-bottomed, imagining that I had been ordered by my imaginary spanker to go prepare myself … and wait.) Then, as now, the fantasies always involved an older, stern-but-loving authority figure — not a peer, or object of any sexual desire. For me, to this day, no sexual element appears in the actual fantasies; only in my reactions to having them. My attraction to being in the spanker’s role started off as a fairly small part of my spanking fantasy life, and has grown over the years. As I have written before, six years ago I was finally able to put these desires into practice with my “niece” friend, and long for the opportunity to do so again, on both sides of the exchange. The stronger longing, however, would have to be for being on the receiving end.
I apologize for such a long post, but deeply appreciate the opportunity to organize and express these thoughts. Once again, Pixie, I thank you. (And BTW, that guy who rolled his eyes was a jerk! He doesn’t deserve to polish the hairbrush that spanks you!)
May 27th, 2009 - 5:14 pm
I was the typical childhood spanko. I did the dictionary thing too, it was like a treasure hunt each time I saw a new dictionary, to see if it contained a good definitions for “spank” and “paddle”. Until I discovered the internet, I thought I was the only person in the world who did that! I remember the first time I came across a picture dictionary and hoping it would have a picture for the word spanking(it didn’t ofcourse). No idea what sparked my interest, I’ve just always had it. I used to watch old movies and sitcoms just because I knew they frequently contained, or atleast mentioned, spanking. I loved reading biographies of famous people because they often mentioned their childhood spankings in the first few chapters of the book.
While I would still die of embarrassment if any of my vanilla friends or relatives knew of my interest, it was wonderful to discover there were other people out there who shared my fascination, and there were ways we could continue to enjoy our interest long into adulthood!
May 27th, 2009 - 5:15 pm
hi,
sorry guys but it’s MacIver not McIver and her name was Georgette not Genevieve. i just got her three paperbacks for $2.01 with $11.00 s&h. I know i had mercy years ago but don’t remember a thing about it. but 4 one cent what the hey. i can still quote parts of the frog pond & the exquisite thing from memmory,
lot’s of copys out there. they shouldn’t go 2 waste.
i don’t think anayone will b disappointed with tfp or tet. i’ll let u know about mercy when i’ve reread it.
i met them in feb. 1987.
cheezcake 4ever
ddon
May 27th, 2009 - 5:23 pm
Hi Pixie,
As ever you have come up with an interesting blog topic. Like you the spanking thing has been with me for as long as I can remember. I must have been around 6 years old when I became aware that a certain part of my anatomy became quite excited when I visualised my female classmates being spanked. After this awakening, the urges went away for a few years, only to return with a veangence when I was about 9 or 10 and it has remained with me ever since. I also developed a thing for uniforms that has never left me and to this day my favourite scenario by far is that of a naughty girl dressed in a school uniform being put over a parental knee for a jolly good bare bottom spanking, or bending over her Headmaster’s desk for six of the best. By contrast I have never had any interest when it comes to males being on the receiving end.
For a long time I thought I was alone in these proclivities until I discovered the Janus shop in London and one of the first things I did when I first got internet access was to type “spanking” into a search engine, whereupon I was quite amazed by the amount of spanking content there is out there. Unfortunately I have never really had the chance to indulge my interest in spanking and it remains one of the biggest regrets in my life.
Paul
May 27th, 2009 - 8:34 pm
Like many, my interest in spanking started early, really early.
I originally thought that my fetish began when I was three, but I believe it must have been earlier because my first mental image of spanking was me in diapers, pulling them down, and slapping my own bottom while holding on to my crib, which would mean I was two years old.
I’m not an advocate of the spanking-gene theory, but I do believe our attraction to spanking is due to an inherited trait, which Freud identified as a proclivity toward being anally fixated and polymorphous perverse, the capacity to express sexuality, or even the cathexis of inner process, in unusual ways. That would certainly describe me. While I think Freud may be right, the truth for many of us is more complicated and idiosyncratic than that, especially when we consider the influence of our home environment upon our behavior and society’s influence both upon us and our family.
In my case, the urge to spank or be spanked was transmitted to me by my mother, and to her by her mother. Until I was seven or eight, my mother had a habit of patting my ass anytime she hugged me, which seemed like a daily occurrence. The practice stopped when I entered the second grade. Long before that, I was spanking myself to orgasm, and was pre-occupied with many aspects of the fetish before I was able to look up all the words relating to corporal punishment, especially bare-bottom spankings with a strap or hairbrush. Particularly troublesome was how objects, sounds, and even shapes in nature took on an expanded meaning beyond their everyday denotation. For example, I could’t look at hairbrushes, spatulas, or spoons without thinking of spanking. Even sounds that loosely resembled a bare-bottom “smack” would act as a trigger. Anytime I watched female ice skaters on TV, I would fixate on their scantly clad bottoms, wondering how it would feel to spank them. And if I were to chance upon a scene in a movie that included spanking, I would obsess about it for days. All of this made be feel very perverted at times.
Oddly enough, I never acted out my fetish with others during childhood, adolescence, or early adulthood. However, I had a ninth-grade teacher who I liked very much. One day while visiting her in her apartment, I still remember the powerful urge I had at the time to simply lay across her lap and ask for a spanking. Boy was the urge strong, and you know she might have given me one!
May 27th, 2009 - 8:54 pm
Pixie,
Whats to say? It looks like we ALL did the dictionary thing and I also used a Thesaurus to look up other words for spanking. I, also, don’t remember a time when I wasn’t fascinated with spanking. One of the earliest memories was in about the 3rd or 4th grade when one of the class brats pushed the teacher too far and she was quietly pulled into the small bathroom at the back of the classroom and then a very distinct smacking sound of flesh meeting flesh (at least to me) rang out as the entire classroom got totally silent. A couple of minutes later the teacher came out but the little girl was left inside. I couldn’t think of anything else for several days. I was spanked at home but when I turned about 11 or 12 the spankings became entirely the job of my Mom. I usually was spanked after church just as a sort of “preventitive” and I became more and more interested in the attention I got when it was felt I “needed” spanked. It was determined I was “too old” at 16 to be spanked and that is when I suddenly started living sort of a wild life but I had to seek else where for my “fix”. In college I searched E-bay with the word “spanked or spanking” and found several old “Mister” magazines and old Penthouse Forum books with Spanking letters.
I remember just wanting to feel “normal” about myself and I am SO glad to know there are SO many of …. US…. in the world. I still hate the pain of a serious spanking but I don’t think I will ever stop craving them.
Linde
May 27th, 2009 - 9:28 pm
Hi Pixie, I have had an interest for as long as I can remember too! I must have been about eight when I saw the “John Wayne” film “MCcLintock” I was hooked ever since.
Great topic.
W
May 28th, 2009 - 12:20 am
Guess another eye roll here… because I definitely looked spanking up in the dictionary. I can’t recall when I “first” discovered the interest though, probably because I can’t remember not having it. It certainly predates looking the work up though. I know as a very-very young kid I played ‘spanking games’ with other kids. Basically playing house… A dad, mom, neighbor, ‘kids’… everyone had a role. And within that play, there were sometimes spankings.
Usually just playful stuff. Do recall a time though that I gave a girl a bare bottom whack with a giant hard plastic tinker toy. She ran home screaming like a banshee. I was sure I was headed for big trouble, but she never told. I was 4 or 5 years old at the time and had been ‘play spanking’ before that happened.
So no idea when it started. But yea, by the time I was old enough to look up words in a dictionary… I was looking up spanking. I was looking for it in books, on TV… etc-etc… all those eye roll stories, lol.
~Todd (and Suzy)
May 28th, 2009 - 12:39 am
ok, I don’t usually comment but this topic is somewhat interesting to me. Ever since the fascination started I have been trying to understand why it is there.
I can’t remember an exact time, moment, or event that caught my interest. In fact I was rarely spanked as a child, I was the youngest and got away with pretty much anything-plus I was a good girl for the most part. I can only remember being spanked once for not going to bed when i was suppose to-it was one of those quick stand up 1-2-3 deals (and it was in no way pleasant). One event that sticks out in my mind (if i had to pick one) is when I witnessed my uncle spank my younger cousins, I was probably 5 or 6. I remember it vividly. I felt bad for my cousins and I’ll never forget the angry scary face my uncle made. Even to this day when I hear about or see a child spanked I think its absolutely barbaric and cruel-so why the fascination?
My childhood fascination is similar to yours Pixie- I suppose as a child you only have access to so many resources. The dictionary may be the only one. I always had the excuse that I was looking at the picture of the space shuttle on that particular page. Drawing spanking scenes and comics was my next venture- in fact as I recall my sister stumbled upon some and i totally denied it- but its ok cause I think she might be a spanko too. I experimented with spanking when playing house with dolls but never actually people.
I discovered that i wasn’t “alone” in or around HS age when i typed “spank” in the computer. I didn’t have any sexual connection till college but even now its slightly sexual but more foreplay since most of the spanking porn turns me off! I always attributed the sexual feelings to the fact that when you spank the buttocks blood rushes to that area, which coincidently is directly next to the sexual organs- I still believe this is the sexual connection. Thinking about being spanked can arise the same sensation.
This was an interesting post. One question I’ve always wondered was whether you were spanked or not as a child makes you a spanko? For a person who was never or rarely spanked does the fear of the unknown fascinate us or if a person was spanked as a child does this sprout a fascination? It would be an interesting survey.
Sorry the post is long-thanks for reading. let me know what you think about the last question. Thanks!
May 28th, 2009 - 12:42 am
Pixie,
My interest in spanking came from some unknown place. I was spanked alot as a child, by a stepmother who I think was quite abusive during that time in our lives. Its hard to believe that I desire anything resembling that now. I used to play “school” with my friends when I was in elementary school (not sure what age) and invariably I or one of my friends would “get in trouble” and they would have to be paddled. I had a rectangular whiffle ball bat (made of plastic) that resembled a paddle. We would take turns being the principle and give swats to each other. It stung and I remember liking and hating how it felt all at once. I can recall many times in junior high and high school where I would do something wrong just because I knew the punishment was getting swats. My 7th grade Geography teacher was known to give REALLY HARD swats. He dared anyone in our class to take one of his swats. If they could take it, then he would let them give him a swat…lier! I don’t think I’ve ever been hit that hard and he lied! I didn’t ever fall for that one again. So…I have to say that spanking has been a big part of my life. Thank you for this website, friends like all of you guys at PB and hopefully friends I’ll meet through this blog or other spanking blogs. Its a Wonderful Life. Talk to you soon. Renee
May 28th, 2009 - 2:22 am
P.S.–sorry to hear about the bad weather on your weekend. You must have been climbing the walls….
Dr. Ken
May 28th, 2009 - 9:40 am
For Me it was My Teenage years I Was Into Spanking I Look it Up In everything I can find Look for IT On Tv And Movies. When I Found Out Certain Movies Had Spanking I went To Find It s I Could Watch it.
I Would Even Try Tape Or Record The Scene On My Vcr So I could Watch it Over and Over. Same For certain Tv Show I would Wait To see if That Spanking Espiode be On si could Watch or Record It.
I even Would Look At Female On Street Or Think About if Certain Female at School or Work Place was Into Spanking or Not. Some I dream of Acutally Being Spanked By Them Or Me Spanking Them
May 28th, 2009 - 11:44 am
I am a believer in the spanko gene, although it would be good to have some geneticists perform some proper research on this.
I am another one in the “As far back as I can remember” camp.
I count my awakenings at three different ages. About three years old (my earliest memories), this was a totally non sexual obsession. At the start of puberty, about nine or ten years old, when it became exclusively entwined with sexual fantasies. And finally, when I actually started playing, at age 19, when my desire for non sexual spankings returned and I found that I desired both sexual and non sexual spankings equally as strongly but as two very distinctive and separate entities.
Prefectdt
May 28th, 2009 - 5:24 pm
Well..looking through some of the answers here, I guess my story is not quite as unique as I thought!!! It was in the third grade ( I went to a Catholic parochial school in the ’50′s ) and one of the nuns entered the classroom with two girls who were being unruly and asked Miss Kissick ( my third grade teacher..yes I still remember her..what a doll !!!) to spank them ( Miss Kissick was the “designated spanker” I guess !!). So she marched them into the coat room in the back of the classroom while the nun watched over us…we could hear the smacks and the cries from the back room and WOW…did that ever get me interested in spanking !!! When they finally came out crying and rubbing their asses…I was immediately turned on…For the rest of the years I was in elementary school..I always looked at those two girls and wondered what it was like and how it would be to spank them…been interested since and as I got older, have been an active “TOP” …
Regards..K
May 28th, 2009 - 5:42 pm
Know the exact moment.
A Sunday evening in December 1975 about 10pm-ish. Aged 12. Parents were out visiting neighbours and I was left alone in the house watching tv. Back then the BBC only had 2 channels BBC1 and BBC2 with BBC2 being more devoted to arts and documentaries. That night an old French b/w movie was on and was sat reading a comic when glanced up to see a scene with a man talking to a young lady dressed as a chambermaid.
Much to my surprise he took her hand, sat down then tugged her across his lap. He then flipped up her skirts, rummaged around under her petticoats to reveal her bum peeking through a pair of bloomers.
By that time the comic was long forgotten and I sat boggle eyed as he started to slap her bum. The rest they say is history…
Thirty years later and I’m talking about it in a blog run by a cute lady who stars in spanking movies. Amazing huh.
Great blog btw. Link swap?
May 28th, 2009 - 9:36 pm
Pixie, my experience is similar to yours. I’ve thought about, fantasized about, been excited by the word and any glimpse of spanking for as long as I can remember. And I, too, looked up spanking in the dictionary…as well as paddle, tan, etc. Not to mention bottom, behind, fanny…lol.
I can definitely date my interest back as far as 3 or 4 years old. My mother used to take me to story hour at the library. After story hour, the kids would be allowed to browse. I would race over to find “The Lonely Doll,” and turn to the page where Mr. Bear spanks Little Bear, and then The Lonely Doll. I still love that book. And I can recall every spanking that ever occurred on Bonanza, The Big Valley, etc.
I’m surprised by that Top’s reaction, and not just because it was rude. The fact that so many of us had similar experiences has always made me feel better about what we do…particularly in the beginning, when I felt somewhat ashamed.
In the beginning, I was comforted by the fact that so many nice, (relatively) normal people harbored the same desires as I did all those years. I suddenly didn’t feel so alone, and my desires seemed validated and, while not typical, certainly not deviant.
Now I’m comfortable with being a spanko, but I still find it cool that so many of us were glued to the TV and wearing out the pages of the dictionary – and thinking that we were the only ones. Thank goodness the Internet has eliminated that isolation for spankos everywhere.
May 29th, 2009 - 1:40 am
I agree! It is certainly nice to not be alone! I always think- they are a lot of things people are into that are a lot worse! Spanking really isn’t that bad- and it’s very common!
May 29th, 2009 - 5:27 am
This seems to be a common question in our community, but it’s one I never tire of discussing. Just how our kinks start is absolutely fascinating to me.
I was definitely hard wired from the get go. I remember having spanking fantasies as far back as Kindergarten and 1st Grade. In fact, I was watching some old home movies with my family a few months ago, and I was even spanking my stuffed animals on camera! Try to imagine my rush of embarassment while sitting next to my Grandfather. Thankfully a well placed joke can divert attention. *nervous, awkward laughter* “A-ha-ha! Ha. Haaaaa….”
As I grew and matured into sexuality, though, my spanking kink went along with it. There was a kind of shame and embarassment attached to it, knowing that something so mundane for everyone else turns me on like crazy. But thanks to the world wide web, I learned to accept my kinks and even embrace them. The net has taught me two things: 1) I’m not alone in my freakiness; 2) There’s alot of people freakier than me.
I’m still not completely out in the open with it. Sadly, as an actor, it’s important what the paying public thinks of you. I don’t think you’ll be seeing my face at any S&M clubs any time soon. But I assure you that wherever there’s a cherry-bottomed girl sobbing over someone’s knee, I’ll be a happy man.
May 29th, 2009 - 7:53 am
Pixie wow what a blushing pink botty you had at the end with Susan on p.b. s latest vid .love and many spanks ,tim xxxx
May 29th, 2009 - 10:54 am
The common threads that run through all our early awakenings concerning spanking are amazing and comforting. I had to smile when Sandy mentioned “The Lonely Doll”. I remember that book from when I was very young, and I was totally captivated by the spankings depicted within. It also makes me laugh to think of all those dictionaries we spankos wore out when we were kids. It’snice to know there are kindred spirits out there.
May 29th, 2009 - 1:36 pm
First of all, Bravo Pixie! It’s not easy facing your fears and you’ve done admirably. I find climbing walls somewhat difficult as I have very large hands and feet and therefore find the holds too small to get any traction. I’m quite strong but even I can’t pull myself up with just my fingertips!
Onto the topic at hand (lol), my first interest was in girls’ bottoms as a whole and I was quite the imp as a little boy pinching them at every opportunity.
The spanking element matured during my early adolescent when I attended an all boys school and became exposed to certain ‘men’s magazines’. Of all things, it was reading all the adverts of the phone lines that really put spanking into a sexual context for me and I enjoyed reading them more than enjoying the pictures!
I found quite a titilating scene in an old sex comedy called ‘Keep It Up Downstairs’ where the butler spanks the french maid (yes she really was french) for playing with the lady’s jewels and heartily agree with the butler’s line of ‘Spare the rod and spoil the fun’!
May 29th, 2009 - 2:59 pm
Pixie, I just wanted to mention how much I enjoy your blog. There are some blogs in the spanko world that are there for the sole purpose of self-promotion.
While there’s nothing wrong with a little good marketing, I love that you frequently pose really interesting topics that generate lively discussion.
Thanks.
May 29th, 2009 - 5:50 pm
Very similar story to yours in a lot of respects here. I remember my middle school did a LOT of paddling back before it was banned. They’d take the young miscreant out into the hallway to let the swats ring out throughout the halls. I always felt funny when someone else got it. I gotta wonder if I’d feel differently if I’d ever been on the receiving end…
May 29th, 2009 - 8:46 pm
CurtisG – Thanks for sharing many of your experiences. It’s interesting to see how things change and progress over time as you become more comfortable.
Joe – Wow! I probably would have been tuning in regularly to that show just in the off chance of catching a repeat.
Tom – The only teacher that I can remember having that made even a potential spanking reference, was my 5th grade gym teacher. He had us play a game called “Beat Your Bottom” where we’d chace each other around the room trying to tag people by swatting their behinds with beach balls stuffed in mesh bags. Ahhh … I wonder if the teachers have any idea of the long lasting lessons they passed on?
Terri – I’m very sorry to hear of how you were treated growing up. No one should ever have to endure such abuse. I hope that you are able to all of the support and comfort that you seek in healing from your experiences.
ddon – You have had many wonderful childhood spanking encounters. Sounds as if they must have started very early on too if you and your friend Amy were tiny enough to still be in strollers.
Derek – Big difference between the interest in the subject matter and an interest in actually getting them, isn’t there! For me, even witnessing a friend or neighbor get a swat was embarrassing to me, but then I couldn’t stop thinking about what I saw afterwards.
Funbun – I can only imagine what fear and embarrassment you must have felt when discovering the note your mom had left you. I’m glad she didn’t continue to bring it up. Hopefully she realized that at 17 it was only natural to begin to explore adult themes.
bodack – I too was very afraid that others might somehow be able to tell that I was fascinated with spanking. As a very young child, I was worried that if I even thought about spanking, my thoughts might float right out of my head and become visible to others and I’d be caught (silly, I know, but I was only maybe 5 at the time and it seemed like something I needed to worry about).
Tigerbutt – You’d see me either fly up that wall or fall flat on my butt!
My eyes grew as big as saucers reading about your camp experience!! And yes, we’re all in good company here as far as our interests go.
Ashley – Right. No matter how similar our experiences may be, no two are identical. I find it comforting to be able to relate to others who did have the same sort of confusing moments as kids, but it’s also nice to hear about others may have taken a different journey to end up sharing the same kinks.
Dr. Ken – Oh yes, you’re right! I too looked up “buttocks”. The B section probably had only a slightly less evident crease compared to S.
Schwarz – I don’t think you are strange at all for your beliefs. In fact, I think you are far from alone in feeling an intense emotional connection when spanking that is best suited for people that know each other well. And so if we ever did happen to run into one another somehow, just know that I’d simply be pleased to have a moment to chat – about bike riding or photography or whatever other common interests we may have – and there wouldn’t be any pressure to play.
tim – Never felt the slipper, but from what I’ve heard, knowing one was at the ready was probably plenty of incentive to behave.
harry – The cartoons were big for me too. Even though the ones I saw featured ducks and turtles and pigs getting spanked, it was still exciting to see some sort of evidence of a spanking on TV. I’m glad I ended up with an interest in spanking and not a turtle fetish. :-S
Hermione – The spankings our poor naughty dolls took. My beloved teddy bear was often the test subject for my spanking machines (the folding chairs we had stored in the basement).
Jeff – Please don’t apologize for your post. I appreciate when people share so much! I share a fair bit here about myself, so it’s reassuring to hear from others and not be left hung out to dry, so to speak. And your accounts reminded me of how I looked up the spanking section in the Dr. Spock Child Care book we had at home. There wasn’t much to read as the advice was simply that it was an ineffective means of discipline and so not to do it, but I recall thinking that my parents must have missed that chapter.
TigerLily – I often thank goondess for the internet that has brought us together and makes us feel much less alone with out interest. I’m not sure what made me suddenly think to Google the word spank one night, but I’m sure glad I did!
PaulH – How wonderful and in a sense reassuring discovering the Janus shop must have been. Was it a place that you just happened to stumble across or how did you find it?
Annapurna – Perhaps hard-coding a fascination with spanking to genetics can’t be pinpointed, but I think there must certainly be elements of both nature and nurture that go into making us who we are – including our interest in spanking.
Linde – I too am glad that we have one another to lean on and learn from.
Warren – A classic!
Todd (& Suzy) – Rollers unite.
It’s good to know we are far from alone.
Butterflyz513 – Thank you for ceommenting. Feel free to join in anytime. I’ve met, chatted with, or read about many spankos that were never spanked as a child and many that were. It would be an interesting study to get additional feedback. For myself, although I was spanked on the rare occasion, I don’t feel that the spankings I received created or increased my interest.
Naughty Ney – Oh how terribly unfair of your Geography teacher! He ought to have been sent to the principles office for that one … and no wiffle ball bat about his paddling.
Dr. Ken – LOL!!
Mike – You made your own mainstream media spanking videos! Very innovative.
Spankedhortic – If ever they do a proper research study, I wouldn’t mind participating. I’ll be a spanking lab rat.
Intersting that you note different awakenings points. I have periods in my life where I was very interested and others where I didn’t think about spanking at all. And even within the times that I was into spanking, my tastes have changed and evolved. I wonder what it is we might desire in say the next 10 years?
Kevin – That sort of experience would have stayed with me for a long time as well. I bet the moment lasted just as long for the two naughty girls!
Ian – That is impressive that you can pinpoint your experience to the near minute! Life changing moment.
Yes, I’ll be happy to exchange links with you.
sandy richards – Thanks so much for your supportive words about my blog! I try my best to keep it varied and interesting. And everyone that reads, contributes, or poses a question helps me tremendously in keeping the blog alive. So thank you!
There is a huge sense of relief in not being alone. I love the true sense of “community” within the spanking community.
SPBuddy – Whoa! That must have been a super awkward moment when watching the home videos. I think I would have crawled under the couch. You handled it much better though by creating a far more subtle diversion.
D – I think that’s very amusing that you read the magazines for the ads!
JC – Hmmm … good point. I wonder if a real life school paddling may have turned you off for good. No way to tell for certain as everyone reacts and processes things differently.
May 29th, 2009 - 9:14 pm
Pixie, my interest in spanking began at a very early age. As a child in the 60′s – 70′s spanking was the most common form of punishment used in most households in my part of the country. In our home they were almost all administered by my mom and she always spanked bare no matter where we were or who was there. Actually all of the kids I knew before I started school got bare bottom spankings, and the first time I ever saw a child get spanked with their bottom covered was in first grade. The teacher would take the misbehaving child in front of the class turn them over her knee and either pull their pants down or skirt up and spank them on their underwear. I even got one bare bottom spanking in school for fighting. The teacher gave me the choice of letting her spank me or going to the office for a paddling by the principal. I chose her and she made me place my hands on a bench pulled my pants and underwear down and swatted my bare bottom twelve times by hand. I was 11 at the time, had a crush on her at the time and had a “funny feeling” inside and especially in a certian part of my anatomy from it.
As a kid I was often involved in spanking games such as house and school with both boys and girls playing and in most cases the spankings were bare. Even as a teen I had spanking relationships with both males and females.
I also looked up spanking references in books, dictionaries, movies, tv etc… and felt a guilty fascination with watching others get spankings especially if they were bare.
I guess what made me the spanko (and I’m a switch) I am today would be watching one of my older cousins get spanked bare over my aunt’s knee. She was 12 at the time (I was 6) My aunt raised her dress and pulled her panties down in front of us.. and all I could do was stare at her chubby bottom as it turned from white to pink to bright red. I saw that image in my mind often and would even draw pictures of it. The next thing was the the spanking I got from the teacher I had a crush on. Next was my best friend and I would when we were alone together take turns spanking each other. We never touched each other in any other way but would take turns baring our bottoms and spanking each other with anything from hands to paddles to belts. One day we were both bare from the waist down and taking turns to see who could take the most and who’s butt got the reddest, and while leaning over the dresser I looked back and saw him touching himself. Then the final nail in the coffin for me was a girl I dated in high school. We were already involved in heavy petting but spanking was brought in as a result of a bet. It became a regular part of our love play. Then she admitted to me that she had been getting turned on by spankings since she was 14 and her mother gave her a bare butt belting. She said it turned her on so much she had an orgasm durning the spanking and from that point on she would often go out of her way to get her mom to spank her. From then on I was a total spanko. I don’t care if it’s giving receving or just watching … I love it.
May 31st, 2009 - 9:10 am
I don’t remember exactly when I realized that I was into spanking, but it was before I was ten. I remember playing house with the girl up the street and my younger sister. I was the dad or the older brother. It was summer time and they were both wearing what they now call skorts. They were both bad and I told them they were going to get a spanking.They went in the bathroom,behind the shower curtain in the tub and pulled down their skorts.The next thing I saw were two bare bottoms sticking out from behind the shower curtain.Each one got a spank.My female cousin used to come swim in our pool during the summer.She was a couple of years younger than I.We used to play a spanking game in the pool. She loved to be spanked on her bare buttocks. I am still trying to give a birthday spanking to some of the women at work.Hopefully this year..
June 1st, 2009 - 2:38 am
I got spanked at an all-male boarding school a few times when I was 12/13. The person doing it was not supposed to do it so there was a pervasive air of secrecy and guilt which made it all the more confusing when I realised that it was a turn-on for me.
For a long time I kept it to myself, feeling ashamed and guilty of this “terrible” desire, until somebody I confided in pointed out to me that I was probably always “wired” to enjoy spanking, and that’s just how I happened to find out. That realisation, and blogs like this one, have helped me to become more comfortable with it, but I still wish I had some like-minded friends to talk to.
June 3rd, 2009 - 6:30 pm
I did the dictionary search of spank and words related. I played the playground games with the boys. If I read something about spanking, heard abotu a friend’s experience or watched anything that mentioned it I would think about it many times after. I thought it was something I shouldn’t be thinking about so I didn’t feel comfortable about it.
Something I noticed recently is an old book of stories and nursery rhymes my mom gave to me as a child that was once hers. I loved it, esp. The Old Woman in the Shoe. Of course naughty children like I sometimes was colored in books. That book was no exception….but in some sort of spanko respect that particular page wasn’t written on at all!
June 6th, 2009 - 8:39 pm
I am like you Pixie , I have always been into spanking. Looking up every word that related to spanking in the dictionary,reading stories about the pioneers because they always had spanking in them, and I am I turned so red watching Tank in the theater with my friends that I am forever grateful for the darkness. My erotic interest was solidified at the age of 11 or 12 when I came across a copy of Fanny Hill at my Aunts house ( which I “borrowed” and kept hidden for I don’t know how long).
June 7th, 2009 - 6:54 pm
Pixie, wanted to comment on how I became a “spanko” when I was ten, we lived in country on a farm. mother and stepfather worked, I was home alone a lot. neighbors had 4 boys, 3 girls oldest girl was always gone, boys were always working the farm. the 2 youngest girls always wanted me to play ” house” with them. I always thought it was “boring” untill, one day, the oldest sugested I be the father, and she and her younger sister be the daughters . they had been bad. at her suggestion, I took them one at a time over my kees, and spanked them over thier panties. no so boring! the next time, I pulled thier panties down, and got to redden thier bare bottoms. apparently, they must have liked it, as we continued our play for a few years, always with spankings. sometimes I would get spanked along with one of the other two, sometimes by both. it really didn’t matter to me, as long as someone got spanked!!!!!!
June 7th, 2009 - 6:55 pm
you are welcome to include with the other comments if you wish