After a particularly hard spanking, my hands will often fly back to rub my bottom as if they have a mind of their own. Rubbing doesn’t bring much relief to the deeper pain, but it can distract from the surface sting. However, I think my desire to rub is as much to feel the amazing amount of heat that is generated and explore any raised marks as it is to help counteract the tingling sensation.
During my spanking, I usually prefer no rubbing at all, by me or the spanker. I know for many, both tops and bottoms, the rubbing is an integral part of the spanking – a brief soothing respite between swats or a way to creating pleasant, teasing anticipation. I’m probably the odd man out on this one, but it is simply not my cup of tea.
Perhaps it is because I have a strong preference for disciplinary style spankings versus sensual or erotic ones. I’d much rather be given a real, firm spanking that allows me to yelp and fuss even when the nature of the spanking is for fun or “mock discipline” (my favorite). And then, when the spanking has ceased, my punishment over, a few gentle caresses at most, or better yet a warm hug, if the chemistry is right.
April 25th, 2008 - 12:49 pm
Hi Pix. I totally agree with you about no pauses for rubbing by the spanker while the spanking is in progress. Would I be correct in inferring that you’re not into the whole post-spanking, post-corner timer aftercare thing, with lotion, when you’ve taken your spanking like a good girl? (That I like a lot — on either side of the transaction — but only after some time has passed since the spanking.)
ADORABLE pic, by the way. Your cute little facial expressions are as much (or more) a part of what makes your pictures so great, as your cute little bottom — and that’s saying something!
Jeff
April 25th, 2008 - 1:06 pm
Thanks Jeff!
And good point about differentiating between mid-spanking and post-spanking rubbing. How welcome the aftercare variety is really depends on who is providing it and my level of comfort with them since to me, the rubbing, lotioning, etc is an even more intimate act than a bare bottom spanking alone.
April 25th, 2008 - 3:25 pm
You and I share the fondness for “mock discipline” (I call it “pseudo-discipline”). It has to feel real, even though I know intellectually that it isn’t. The spanker who can get inside my head and make me believe it’s real is a talented one indeed.
But I confess, I do like some rubbing during the spanking. Not a whole lot of it, but just enough so I can catch my breath. And here’s some oddness — I don’t enjoy rubbing my own bottom. I feel no desire to do so… I have no idea why. — Erica
April 25th, 2008 - 4:14 pm
I totally agree with you about prefering no rubbing during the spanking. Although it may give a slight pause to the punishment, it only causes an increase in the anticipation of the spanking starting again. When I do get a rub or caress it needs to signify the end of the spanking to me, which allows me to enjoy that the punishment is over and any aftercare that is given. Rubs given during an intense spanking cause conflicting signals emotionally and I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one who feels this way.
Linde
April 25th, 2008 - 6:26 pm
That is interesting. No rubbing for Pixie during a spanking. Well, that just leaves more time for spanking!
April 25th, 2008 - 11:02 pm
Thanks, Pix, for that rousing description of your post-spanking routine.
But on one point we disagree: As a lifelong spanker, I have always considered the rubbing during a spanking to be one of the loveliest stages of the game.
In “Heirs to Misfortune,” a Shadow Lane video in which you appeared, one of the spankees was the redoubtable Samantha Woodley. At one point while she is being spanked over some guy’s knee, we see a cut to a closeup of the guy rubbing and caressing her bottom. And I’m sure it was deliberate, because that particular bit of business immediately follows a camera cut. Probably Eve told the spanker to do that, to project some pleasure to all the spankers out there in the audience.
And project pleasure it does. A good rubbing is always an essential part of a good consensual spanking. At least I’ve found it so.
Cheers,
Dan N.
April 26th, 2008 - 2:18 am
Dear Pixie,
This just reinforces what I (and many, many others) have said all along–we all like spanking, but everyone is different when it comes to specific details.
When I play with someone for the first time, I always ask if rubbing is okay. I’ve never run into anybody who said, “no” up until now–but that’s the reason you take the time to ask.
So I’ll just file away that little piece of information about you…you know, just in case….:-)
Dr. Ken
April 26th, 2008 - 10:42 am
You know, I can relate in a sense, but not really. My spankerman rubs always after every spanking – even disciplinary ones (real, not mock!). But I am not allowed to rub. Occasionally, usually during real punishments, I kind of sometimes want him to not rub, only because it feels counter-productive when it’s immediately after. I get a spanking and then once it’s over, I don’t feel it anymore if it’s rubbed away. Rubbing is often accompanied by lotion which also makes the sting/hurt go away.
But on the other hand, after extremely hard spankings, I’m not allowed to rub and he doesn’t either. That’s a rule though, I’m never allowed to rub – only him! If he makes it hurt, he makes it stop hurting. But if it’s a serious punishment, no rubbing at all. If it’s a little less serious there will be rubs after.
From a new casual play partner at a party, perhaps a pat/rub on the bum but more preferably, a small hug.
Kate
April 26th, 2008 - 10:45 am
Oh and Dan N. …that was Mike!
He’s a good spanker, hard spanker, and good at rubs afterwards 
hehe
Kate James
April 26th, 2008 - 10:45 am
Would mocking your bf result in “mock discipline”?
April 26th, 2008 - 3:32 pm
Well put, Pixie. To me, after spanking rubbing is a great reinforcement that I spanked that girl’s tush well.
Mind you, I’m as likely to rub mid-spank, usually because the heat of her heinie let’s me know I have her blood flowing.
Nice site!
Marcus
April 27th, 2008 - 12:49 am
Great post pixie. All I can really add is that I like how you think.
April 27th, 2008 - 12:47 pm
Personally my lovey Pixie if I was spanking you, at some point I would be unable to resist rubbing your pretty bottom. As a man and a spankophile the feel of a feshly spanked bottom in my hands is one of my greatest pleasures. Pretty much for the same reasons you gave.
It really becomes a question of when you get the rubbing.
As for the hugs after. No spanker worth his salt would let a brat go with out at least a quick cuddle after the fact!
April 27th, 2008 - 1:16 pm
To rub or not to rub, that is the question? The answer depends on the spankee, judging on the comments so far.
What are your thoughts on the light dragging of fingernails across the affected area, especially after a caning?
Prefectdt
April 27th, 2008 - 2:31 pm
There is a human instinct, I think, when any part of the body is hurt, to want to hold it or rub it. If I bruise my arm or my leg, the first reaction is to feel it. Isn’t this more or less what rubbing a spanked bottom is about? (By the spankee that is). When the spanker does the rubbing – from the filmed evidence on a number of sites – and especially when this is done in the middle of a apanking or even before, it always seems to me that there is something sensious/sexual about it from the spanker’s point of view: what it does to the spankee, unless the whole episode is some sort of foreplay, I cannot envisage.
April 27th, 2008 - 3:18 pm
Erica – Yes! Although a spanking “just because” can be nice too, it’s way more fun to have that real feeling to it.
Linde – I can definitely see how rubbing mid-spank would be even more unwelcomed if you’ve learned to equate caresses with the end of your punishment. Just when you begin to relax, it starts again. Not fair!
Todd & Suzy – Yep! Just keep spanking, maybe pause for a little lecture or some friendly banter as well as a quick rest, and I’ll be quite happy.
Dan N. – Yes, rubbing in a consensual spanking can be wonderful (and both parties have the implied level of comfort with one another). There was indeed quite a lot of rubbing during the Heirs to Misfortune shoot. I’m not sure how much of it was included in the final edit actually as I believe the scenario was supposed to be somewhat more disciplinary in nature than sensual, but of course with lovely girls like Samantha and Sierra, how can anyone not want to rub their bottoms in addition to spanking them?
Dr. Ken – You are so right! Even if we are all united under the umbrella of spanking enthusiasts, we are still very different people with different preferences and limits. Never has that been more clear to me until I started received emails with diametrically opposed views on how to do spanking “right”.
Kate – Interesting distinction you make between your boyfriend and a casual play partner. I feel the same way really. To me, the rubbing component makes the spanking take a much more intimate, sensual turn that I wouldn’t have the comfort level to accept from someone I’d perhaps only met minutes before. I think my discomfort with rubbing stems from an incident in which someone tried to take it from a play spanking to rubbing to beyond without an ok to do so.
2Good – Without a doubt!! LOL!!
Marcus – Seeing as how my own hands want to check for the radiating heat, I can certainly understand how you would want to check on your own handiwork as well!
007 – Thanks!
Poppa Mark – Love the hug!! Especially if it’s been a positive and powerful exchange, I find a hug is desperately wanted when it’s all over.
Prefectdt – Well put. Like Dr. Ken said, we are all so different despite our common interest in spanking.
Fingernails over a freshly spanked or caned bottom is torturous and exhilarating. Feels like little electric shocks going through my skin and I react like a cat trying to claw at the ceiling.
Winchester – Yes, it does come across as sensual, which is absolutely fine of course. I just prefer that it not be a part of things when trying to do the non-erotic/disciplinary style play I tend to prefer. And as I mentioned in my response to Kate, I think my tendency to put the limit on too much rubbing comes from experiences in which spanking leads to rubbing which leads to other advances that weren’t ok. If I have a level of trust and familiarity with a person to know that the rubbing isn’t going to go beyond that, then I can relax and enjoy.
Though I still prefer for it to be a part of the aftercare rather than incorporated into the spanking itself.
April 28th, 2008 - 1:42 am
I didn’t used to be a rubbing person, but I think I like it a lot now, as a part of aftercare, like you said, and only when it’s with someone I know and trust (and love, hehe)– that narrows it down a bit!
Also have to echo the comment that that picture is adorable!
April 28th, 2008 - 8:51 am
i alway thought rubbing in betwen spanks during spanking help the butt not bruise or mark up so fast and help pro long the spankings too
if i am wrong can u please explain it better for me. i am sure i be a rub type of person during spankings
i can understand you not wanting to be rub during ya spanking. to me if it a punishment spanking then no rub to be allow the spankee is suppose be learning a lesson.