Sometimes I find myself craving a spanking. A real spanking. Not a fun, lighthearted one. Not a romantic one that leads to other activities. Not a scripted spanking scene or roleplay. Just a genuine straight to the point, straight to the bare discipline spanking. I don’t always have to have done something to deserve one (like, oh say, lying down on railroad tracks) in order to want one, which can make getting a spanking that meets my needs more difficult and also a bit puzzling even to me.
Why want a spanking? It isn’t just about the discipline or limit setting. I certainly don’t crave corner time or being instructed to write lines. If it’s just a matter of wanting a bit of closeness and intimacy, then why not a hug? And if it were simply a matter of wanting to exert myself or needing to blow off steam, then for me, doing an extra hard workout at the gym should suffice. But yet, there are times when nothing other than a spanking will do.
I suppose my cravings are strongest when I’m truly out of sorts and have a need for discipline, caring, and stress relief. The craving leaves me with an uncomfortable feeling of being on edge, restless, snappish, empty and overflowing all at once. These emotions and the subsequent craving can be brought on by lingering guilt over something quite minor or long since past, discomfort over something out of my control, general stress, loneliness, a desire to have limits set, and probably even more reasons that escape me at the moment.
I don’t like to create an additional reason to be spanked when I feel like this, meaning I’m not going to brat or pick a fight just to provoke a spanking. Actually, being so out of sorts and not one that is easily able to hide this fact is usually enough to communicate to an in tune spanker that my bottom needs to be dealt with.
Like most cravings, the intensity of the desire can lessen with time even if a spanking is not given, but yet it still smolders in the background likely to burn fiercely once more at any given moment. And also like many cravings, a similar substitution can help take the edge off. A playful spanking or spanking role play can help a bit even if it’s not quite right, sort of like settling for pretzels when you really want potato chips.
But when the need is met, the itch is scratched, and the bottom is glowing red, the wave of relief that washes over is amazing. I’m suddenly calmer and can focus again. I’ll feel emotionally cleansed, cared for, exhausted, and let’s not forget sore. There is nothing else quite like it and as I lie down for what is sure to be a restful, deep sleep that night, it is as if order has been restored.
July 26th, 2007 - 12:32 am
wow, pixie…i so know what you mean. i am also in that place right now – feeling out of sorts, desiring peace…and when that happens a good spanking is the only thing that can bring on that needed emotional release. i hope you find the “rest” you need accompanied by a warm glowing bottom.
wishful
July 26th, 2007 - 1:57 am
You are wording this subject about cravings for a spanking very well.
As you normally do and in my opinion the reason why your Blog is such a good one.
I believe “openess” about being a spanko is the only solution. As long as others (husband, partner, boyfriend, sister, friend, etc) know that you have these cravings they will learn to ‘read’ your mind and react in the proper way, by taking you over the knee, baring your bottom and giving you what you want. A firm spanking..!
From the opposite…
When I see a lovely woman with those well-rounded buttocks that seem too continuously ask for a spanking, my hand itches… (and my mind can’t think about anything else but spanking).
However protocol in society forbids (and probably rightly so) that I take a random woman over my knee for a spanking.
And you are considerd a “lunatic” by most, when you talk openly about your spanking desires…
So it might be even harder for “spanker” who wants to spank, but can’t.
I find my relief in drawing. Drawing spanking scenes does help, but nothing is better than the real thing.
I’m sure there are many women and men around who have the same cravings, but they seldom match/meet…
To have a woman like Pixie as your next-door neighbour would be the BEST solution as I’m sure I would be able to read her mind and spank her when she suffered from her spanking cravings…
XXX, Funbun
July 26th, 2007 - 2:04 am
Great column sweetie. You should post this on other sites as well.
Thing is, you can spend your whole life psychoanalyzing WHY we do what we do, but you won’t get a definitive answer. The only thing that’s important is that you realize this IS something you crave, and you’ve found a whole lot of folks who want to help you get all the spankings you need.
Even still, this is the best analysis I’ve seen. Thanks for writing it.
July 26th, 2007 - 3:09 am
Every woman who feels like you should wear a sign or a special hat. This way we’d all get what we want very quickly.
July 26th, 2007 - 7:10 am
Pixie i understand what you saying i have and get the craving awful lot. not a day go by where i do not have the craving for a spanking.
all time i tell myself i need a spanking or want a good spanking but sadly do not have anyone to to take me over their knee for a spanking.
i wish i had a certain female girlfriend or a female friend i could go to and tell them i need a spanking who i know will not have any problem turning me over to give me what i want and crave at the time
mike
July 26th, 2007 - 11:00 am
As is frequently the case with your blog, an eloquent insight into some of what drives us but simultaneously
puzzles us .
Mark
July 26th, 2007 - 1:22 pm
God Mark that’s very deep.
I think the lady was basically saying she was feeling randy and that someone supplied the needed satisfaction.
Pixie good site
Paddy P.
July 26th, 2007 - 4:20 pm
wishful – I hope that you too can get a good spanking to feel at peace again.
Funbun – thank you very much. I definitely agree with you that it can be very difficult for both sides, both spankers and spankees to find what they are seeking.
007 – thanks.
Sometimes I find it a fun challenge to ponder the “why”, but I do try not to get too hung up on it as I tend to agree there simply is no definitive answer. If possible, it’s best just to not worry too much and simply enjoy!
PEH – I think you might have something there.
Perhaps “spank hats” can become all the rage!
mike – sorry to hear that you are dealing with such strong needs for a spanking and do not currently have a way to meet them. I hope that you will soon find a female friend that will enjoy spanking you as much as you enjoy being spanked.
Mark – thank you. I’m glad that I have a place to share my thoughts with people that understand.
Paddy P – thanks. I’m glad you like my blog. I can’t say that I was randy though. For me, spanking does not equal something sexual. When I crave a spanking it is more of a desire for corrective, caring discipline than sexual satisfaction.
July 26th, 2007 - 7:17 pm
No doubt a good number of people identify with what you’ve written. Wonder if when you feel like that, you do in fact do “additional” things that might get you what you crave? Not intentionally, but at more of a subconsciously level. Wondering because of your little adventure on the train tracks (lol, a spankable offense if there ever was one!).
Lovely pictures, btw… as always.
~Todd & Suzy
July 26th, 2007 - 7:41 pm
Sometimes human emotions are so complicated. I noticed the use of the word “stress” several times. Could it be your upcoming move and other things piling up on you, is it something else? Who knows?!
Maybe if you just relax and don’t STRESS, things will fall into place as they are mean to. You certainly are good at writing out your thoughts and feelings. I hope that’s therapeutic for you.
Sending hugs!
2Good
July 26th, 2007 - 8:42 pm
Pixie, very well said in eloquent fashion!
I consider “therapeutic spanking” an important element for every spankee’s stress relief…. turning over control even for a short time, to a trusted spanker who understands your need most certainly has medicinal value!
July 27th, 2007 - 10:59 am
Love your pictures, amber and I can relate to your post too. I get that craving sometimes too so much.
BIG HUGS
padme amidala
July 27th, 2007 - 1:07 pm
Pixie,
I’m a male who also knows what it’s like to crave a spanking. I work in a fairly large company that has plenty of attractive women. Throughout the day I’ll find myself daydreaming that I’m the student who caused the teacher some grief and is forced to stay after school. I picture myself being taken by the ear to her office for a sound scolding,severe hairbrush spanking (bare bottom of course) and then being made to stand in the corner with pants down. Then I’m forced to snap out of my daydream when I’m told a fax came in and then I’m afraid to stand up if you know what I mean.
Tim
July 27th, 2007 - 4:02 pm
Even through the darkest phase
Be it thick or thin
Always someone marches brave
Here beneath my skin
Constant craving
Has always been
Maybe a great magnet pulls
All souls towards truth
Or maybe it is life itself
That feeds wisdom
To its youth
Constant craving
Has always been
Craving
Ah ha
Constant craving
Has always been
Constant craving
Has always been
Constant craving
Has always been
Craving
Ah ha
Constant craving
Has always been
Has always been
Has always been
Has always been
Has always been
Has always been
July 28th, 2007 - 4:22 am
A nice article on an important topic for those of our ilk. You pick interesting topics for review, both scene and non-scene.
A certain mutual friend of ours with a strong arm and a therapeutic mind, together with hairbrush(es), thoroughly handled my craving most recently. It wasn’t just the activity, it was the friendship and caring that went with it that made the event so special.
Keep up those interesting posts on spanking and nature. They are very nurturing.
Brad D.
July 28th, 2007 - 10:06 am
thanks for ya support Pixie ya a cool little girl but never a naughty little girl lol
i too hope i find a female friend who into and love spanking naughty mens i know she and female like that is out there. i just need to go find them if i find a female like that get the spankings i want i will let you know if can show you pic too
Mike
July 28th, 2007 - 11:52 am
THank you Pixie for another most interesting and thought provoking piece. I think many can understand, and probably relate to, that feeling of agitation, that “being out of sorts” that you describe as a need for “discipline, caring and stress relief”. For you that may mean a need for, a craving for, a spanking: for others it might mean some different answer to the problem. There is however, something which I think must underlie the remedy – and that is total trust in the other person – in your case the spanker. Without that trust the relief will not be felt: there will just be more agitation. I guess you have just that sort of trust with the PB team – and with the Far East tour people, and especially Dallas. With him you were in tears from the first spank – but evidently felt fulfilled by a very hard session indeed. Trust like that takes time to build: there needs to be friendship and loyalty too, whether in the spanking scene or any other. It has to be a two-way trust that can take time to establish – but it can be broken far more swiftly than built.
There may be something in the impending move that adds to your restlessness -the losing of what is familiar and well loved (hence your nostalgia for the railway track and favourite walks) – though I guess that may be only part of the story. They say that moving house is one of the mopst stressful things we ever do: I am suret hat all your readers will be wishng you well as you move and settle into the new surrounds.
July 28th, 2007 - 12:43 pm
Todd & Suzy – I’ll definitely have to pay more attention to how I behave when I’m in the midst of a craving and see if I find myself doing little things in the hopes of earning a good spanking.
Thank you for the compliments on my photos … spankworthy as takeing them may have been!!
2Good – I definitely am a little bit stressed at the moment as I have a lot going on both with website issues, moving, and just plain ol’ scary change. Even good change is scary because it’s the unknown. I do find blogging to be therapeutic, a safe place to share, and a fun project.
Anonymous – Yes, spanking can be very therapeutic, but you hit the nail on the head that it must be performed by someone that is trustworthy and understanding. Very key point!
padme – Thank you. I had a feeling that you’d understand the cravings.
Tim – Those faxes come at the most inopportune moments, don’t they? I hope that your cravings and daydreams don’t lead to any embarrassing moments.
David – thanks for the lyrics
Brad – I’m very happy to hear that things went so well with that certain mutual friend and that you are sated for the time being.
Mike – never naughty? I may have to print that out to use in my defense the next time someone informs me my halo has gone askew. Good luck with your search.
Winchester – Trust is paramount and you are so right that it takes a while to build it and only a moment to break it.
Believe it or not, my craving is not super strong at the moment. I’m definitely stressing about a number of things (as is evidenced by the fact that I’ve been spending more nights awake at 2am fretting over things than I really should), but it’s almost as if I’m so busy fussing and fretting that it’s put a damper on my cravings. Funny how the pendulum swings.
July 28th, 2007 - 4:05 pm
sometimes i ache for a punishment spanking so bad I cant stand it. I have a very good friend, who will spank me, and because were both girls, theres no power struggle. And when Im sobbing from the spanking I can confess anything. And the same goes for her. Have you ever thought about letting one of youe closest girlfriends spank you. its not a lesbian thing, girls can be there for each other
July 30th, 2007 - 3:16 am
You describe the craving well, Pixie. And the key word is probably care or caring. For someone to pick up on your needs and give you the spanking you’re looking for tells you that someone cares about you, is looking out for you and is looking after you–they care enough to do whatever is necessary for you. It provides a feeling of being loved, being cared for, and of being safe.
I hope you always have those feelings…
Dr. Ken
July 30th, 2007 - 4:53 am
Well..you may not want to hear this …but,
I’d happily spank you anytime..
just because.
(All that craving, like a cup, quarter-filled, needs to be filled.)
sweet dreams,
xx,b/adam/CAIN
July 30th, 2007 - 8:57 pm
Anonymous – A few years ago I had a close female friend spank me. She did it as a favor to me even though she wasn’t really into it herself. These days though, my boyfriend happily assists.
Dr. Ken – Yes, caring is definitely a big part of it. I was thinking more about the craving the other day and realized a major trigger for me to crave a spanking is my insecurities and self-doubt. Of course they tend to flare up most when I’m stressed out and out of sorts so it all goes hand in hand. But the reassurance and caring that a spanking provides manages to calm those insecurities for a while. After all, if I’m cared for enough to be taken in hand and spanked, I can’t be all bad, right?
b/adam/CAIN – that is very sweet.
August 5th, 2007 - 9:40 pm
I think a truckload of guys just fell more in love with you…and that we have more in common then I’d ever thought. Also, you’d make an excellent freelance writer for erotic magazines.
July 9th, 2009 - 2:13 pm
Pixie,
Thank you for expressing what’s true for you about this subject.
I was in a difficult place for the past several days (after making a scene which I felt tremendously guilty about). My BF & I have been under a LOT of stress lately, and though he does spank me fairly often, it’s always just for fun or role play – never for real. Sometimes I truly crave ‘for real’ and I haven’t known how to explain that to him. You put it in words beautifully, and I intend to show him this blog (which btw I just happened upon while looking for an answer to why I have this need). After the big argument several days ago, I apologized and we both vowed to work harder on communicating better and identifying and resolving our issues (mostly mine, I feel certain). He lovingly forgave me (he always does, because he’s basically a saint!) but promised I would be getting a good long spanking for being so difficult and demanding. I felt I absolutely deserved whatEVER he thought appropriate and mentally prepared myself for whatever may come. It didn’t happen that night – or the next, or the next – mainly because my 18-yr-old son lives with us, and we don’t have good soundproofing. ; > But last night, when my son spent the night out and it still didn’t happen, I blew a fuse. Okay, I blew several. Waited patiently and demurely (because I’m never comfortable with asking and I wanted to respect his timing and initiative AND because I was certain that he would initiate) until he went to bed. With the onset of utter disappointment, I tried really hard to let it go and let him go to sleep – but I failed miserably. I came to bed, stifling my emotions, but he could feel them and asked a question or two, and the dam burst. Still, he didn’t get up (his biggest issue is avoidance, burrowing under the covers when conflict arises) and I got hotter and hotter (that going to bed thing is my worst trigger – because I feel absolutely STUCK with whatever’s been churned up in me). I tried to explain how I was feeling. When he suggested I talk to my therapist about my needs, I blew yet another fuse, and let him have it verbally, until finally he got up in a state of rage and screamed at me “You WIN!”
Well, at that point, it sure didn’t feel like much of a victory. : <
He proceeded to glare me into the ground with an angrier look than I thought he was capable of, then after a minute or two of that, decided to spank me, standing up with pants on, so furiously yet so ineffectively that I couldn’t keep from laughing out loud at his sincere but futile efforts, thinking to myself ‘This is NOT what I would call a real spanking, but you gotta love him for trying through his sleep-deprived rage). At the end, we went to bed and somehow managed to crack a joke or two about the whole thing before falling asleep in each other’s arms.
But I woke after a few hours, feeling horribly guilty and unfulfilled, and that is when I found your blog. THANK GOD! I’ve surfed a few sites in the past and have mostly been turned off by either the severity or the just-plain-kinkiness with no depth or what I would call thoughtfulness (nothing wrong with that, just not my cup of tea) and I don’t have as much time to search as I’d like to…
But so many thoughts spinning through my head (again) – Why do I need this? Why do I want this? Is this unfair to him? Will he ever get it that it’s not just about sex, it’s not all play, it’s deeper than that? What is wrong with me? Why can’t I just appreciate the love here? Do I need to look outside the relationship for a spanking buddy even though I adore this man and it would really hurt him (and probably destroy our relationship) if I did so… and on and on.
Speaking of on and on, I didn’t really intend to go into all this… (sorry!) … but since I have, let me ask you and your fellow bloggers – can anyone point me to a site that might give me some deeper understanding of the need to be spanked or the therapeutic aspects of spanking? I’m still struggling with acceptance within my own mind, and with the hope of explaining to my patient and loving (but somewhat vanilla?) boyfriend… if there are any shortcuts, I’d sure love to know about them.
Meanwhile, I am grateful to have found your blog, your exquisite ability to give voice to this topic, and the comments of your thoughtful readers. Thank you all.
Cheers! Bitski