Thank you to everyone that joined in on my last post about how you view spanking scenes and photos.  I’m a little short on time so unfortunately I am not able to do my usual individual responses, but I will try to catch up when I can.  I greatly appreciate everyone that leaves a comment so I want to make every effort to return the favor of a reply.

It’s the start of a summer holiday weekend here in the States and I have some fun vanilla plans with friends and family coming up.  A lot of it is all weather dependent, so I’m not going to jinx myself (again) by saying what’s on the agenda! 

If you’re stateside, I hope you have a great Independence Day weekend.  And if you’re not, have a great weekend anyway.  Just it being the weekend is enough reason to celebrate. 

I probably won’t be online that much the next couple of days, but in the meantime, please enjoy the latest Pixie’s Previews video from our last Punished Brats shoot.

It’s time for another one of my nosey questions.  Usually they are inspired by a conversation I had with a friend or something that came up in email correspondence.  This one is no exception. 

When you’re watching a spanking video, do you envision yourself in the role of the spanker or spankee or do you simply enjoy the scene as it plays out between the characters on the screen?  Is your answer the same when viewing a spanking photo or reading a spanking story? 

Sometimes if I can really relate to the spankee or her misdeed, I’ll imagine myself in her place.  I’ll feel my own anxiety rise with anticipation and then cringe in empathy with every swat.  If the model is someone I know well however, it’s harder for me to put myself in her place. 

When I view a photo, I fixate more on the captured moment.  I enjoy looking at the girl’s reaction, the state of her bottom, the emotional connection between spanker and spankee.  I do the same when I watch a video, but without a clear storyline to follow, I’m only an observer. 

I think the storyline is somehow key for me as with a written tale, I’m again more likely to put myself into the shoes of the naughty brat. 

How about you?  Do you imagine yourself in the scene or are you more of an observer?  Does it make a difference who the characters are?

There are few television shows that I make a point of watching.  Usually I’m either running around outside or suction cupped to my computer and so I don’t pay much attention to what’s on the tube.  I’ll catch reruns and marathons of my favorite talent shows and my beloved House MD whenever I just happen to stumble across them.

I love House … he can spank me any time

The one exception, and the only show recently that I’ll wrestle my husband for control over the remote for the big TV, is Cake Boss.  It’s a fairly new TLC show that I didn’t expect to enjoy as much as I do.  The cakes they create are beyond amazing and the personalities of the people that work at the shop and the customers they serve make it so entertaining.  Recently I caught an episode that really should have included a good solid spanking though.

A complete and utter brat of a bride came into the bakery the night before her wedding day, threw a fit, and ruined her own cake by dumping multicolored icing all over the elegant four-tiered calalilly covered creation she had custom ordered. 

Her flat, snotty attitude, outrageous demands for a brand new cake by the next day, and a phone call to the bratzilla’s devestated mom played out like the perfect set up for a spanking scene.  I was nearly ready to leap through the television screen and spank her myself with that spatula until her bottom was as red as the frosting!  I would have at least pushed her face first into her destroyed cake, but that probably would have resulted in us both getting spanked by the Cake Boss.  It would be so worth it.

I might just have to see if we can use this as inspiration for a future scene at Punished Brats where there won’t be quite such a happy ending for the spoiled brat.  Check out the TLC episode here:  Bratty Bridezilla Video (alternate video source: http://tlc.discovery.com/videos/cake-boss-bi-plane-bridezilla-busting-buddy.html (hopefully this will work for those of you that were experiencing difficulty with the first link)  and tell me if you get as fired up as I did.  Fast forward to about the 7 minute mark to see the brat destroy the cake and make her demands.

In corresponding with a gentleman the other day, he mentioned the majority of women into spanking that he’s spoken with can cite a particular incident from childhood that sparked their interest.  It might have been something such as a reference on TV, witnessing a friend getting spanked, or having been spanked themselves.  He wanted to know what my “exposure moment” was - what was it that caused me to develop my interest in spanking. 

Although I can recall a few incidents that stand out clearly to this day, I’m not sure there was any particular one that made me become interested in spanking.  I’ve always thought that I had an inherent fascination with spanking and so when I stumbled across a related reference, I took note; not the other way around.  It’s a matter of chicken and the egg, I suppose.  No real way to tell which came first, the exposure or the interest.

I have heard accounts from other spanking enthusiasts in which they can recall the exact incident (whether it’s in childhood or later) that it all clicked for them.  Still others that said they feel they were born a spanko.  What was your experience?  Do you think you were born with the interest or do you think it’s something that develops over time and exposure?

Pain is a funny thing - and in this case I mean as in odd, not as in Three Stooges funny.  I find pain to be vital to a good spanking experience for me.  I’m never quite sure how to react when I’m only being patted.  Does the spanker want me to react as if I’m at my very limit anyway or is he hoping that I’m going to purr and ooh with pleasure or is he perhaps waiting for me to make a snarky comment about butterflies landing on my butt so he can feel safe in kicking it up a notch?

Anyway, when I’m being spanked, I prefer to have at least a moderate amount of discomfort.  I want to feel truly punished and the experience to have an air of authentic discipline no matter what the set up.  I think I have a pretty fair tolerance, but I am definitely not a “pain slut” as has been suggested to me before.  The pain itself doesn’t do it for me.  It’s merely a single factor that contributes to the overall positive experience. 

And right now, it’s never been more clear that anything I get out of pain is solely limited to the realm of spanking.  I’m in a good bit of discomfort at the moment for completely non-spanking related reasons and the only thing it’s contributing to right now is making me frustrated and a bit sad.  I won’t go into boring details about what’s currently causing the distress, but no matter what the vanilla ache or injury, I’m not fond of it.  I could whine over a scratched finger or bumped shin, but when a post-spanking attempt to sit causes me to wince a little?  Well, I’ll probably still whine, but I’ll do so with a sly smile.

Since I’m a spankee only, I wonder if the enjoyment of spanking related pain is only limited to the bottom.  If I tried to give a spanking, I think the spankee would be very unfortunate as I’d quickly move on to an implement to spare my hand the discomfort.  I don’t feel the desire to have my hand hot and burning like my bottom, but as I said, that might very well be because I’m not a spanker by nature. 

So tell me, if you’re one that enjoys getting spanked, do you find that you can handle repeated hard swats to your bottom and yet cringe at the thought of a papercut?  And if you’re one that likes to give spankings, do you enjoy the pain sensation on your hand after a good bit of play? 

A popular theme in spanking scenes is the bedtime spanking.  The miscreant may be sent to bed early or made to wait until the time they would normally retire for the evening to receive their punishment.  Teeth brushed, shower taken, and dressed in pajamas or whatever they might choose to wear to bed, the naughty one then receives the spanking for any misdeeds earlier in the day and then is finally sent to bed with a sore bottom for a night’s rest on her tummy. 

While I’ve had the chance to play out this sort of scenario in role play and in shoots, I don’t often experience this in real life.  On the rare occasion that I was spanked growing up, I was never made to wait for my punishment.  The swats were always delivered at the time of the infraction while I was dressed in my day clothes (well, perhaps minus the bottoms).  And today when I receive any playful punishments from my husband, the spankings are also typically given on the spot or when we next have a private moment.  I have acted up and become bratty at bedtime earning myself a sore-bottomed tuck-in, but I can’t recall being specifically made to wait until night time to get spanked for something I did earlier in the day. 

I’m kind of glad that I’m not made to wait until bedtime as the anxiety would be maddening.  How bad will it be?  Does he really mean it?  Will he even remember?  What if I hop into bed early and fall asleep really fast?  I suppose that anxiety is all a part of the punishment and it would be effective because I’d be on edge all day.  I can’t decide if I’d like it or not - and by “like” I mean in that same love-hate way I feel about the pain of the spanking itself.  I love the ritual, the routine.  I love the thought of going to bed with a hot bottom.  And of course, I love the pajamas.  But the anxiety might do me in (I’m a highstrung person to begin with) and I’d be bitterly disappointed if my punishment were forgotten or dismissed when bedtime finally rolled around and I’d spent hours worrying for nothing. 

What are your thoughts on bedtime spankings?  Ever receive one or give one?  Do you hate the wait or find the anticipation heightens the experience?  Do you enjoy the ritual aspect?  Do you enjoy seeing a bedtime spanking given in a scene?

As the result of a home improvement project gone wrong, I am now blogging in the dark with a menacing looking hole in my ceiling.  After nearly 2 years we finally got around to the chore of swapping out the rainbow colored nursery ceiling fan / light fixture in my office for a more grown-up version.  I shouldn’t say we because it was actually my husband and his dad that set to the task while I handed tools up the ladder and did my best to stay out of the way.  Some sort of gizmo in the replacement fan broke during installation and we’re now waiting for the apparently vital 13 cent replacement part to arrive in the mail in the next 7 - 10 business days.  Sigh.  I need to see about getting a desk lamp but at least I have the comforting glow of my computer monitor to light my way. 

Well, after our home improve-not project was complete, we were all standing in the driveway chatting for a few minutes when my husband swatted me on the butt with one of the old fan blades.  My eyes nearly bulged out of my head!  Not from the pain, but the shock.  His dad was standing right in front of and said, “what’d you hit for???”.  My husband just smirked and said, “she likes it”.  I so badly wanted to turn invisible at that moment but my superpowers failed me. 

This is not the first time that my husband has playfully swatted me in front of vanilla friends and family.  I swear he must either like flirting with the danger of getting caught or really enjoys seeing me squirm.  Or it could simply be that as Sister says …

a shirt from one of my favorite plays … can anyone guess why?

Ever tell a vanilla friend about your interest in spanking?  Sure, it’s not everyone’s business what kinky habits you choose to practice, but sometimes you may want to confide in a friend so you don’t have to keep secrets, because you think they might like it too (but oops, they didn’t), or simply because you a had a few too many beers and got a little loose lipped.  

In any case, it can be tough to explain the appeal and all of the dynamics of the spanking scene to someone who isn’t into it themselves.  Heck, I think a lot of us spankos still struggle with explaining it to ourselves!

I came out to two of my closest vanilla friends several years back.  I was only beginning to discover the world of adult spanking at the time and while I had made a few good spanko friends online, I felt I needed to have someone local that I could trust to be my safety when I met a new spanking partner for some real life play.  At that point I had played twice without a safety - the first time went exceptionally well (courtesy of one Richard Windsor) and the second time went horribly wrong (courtesy of some total creep).  I didn’t want the latter to occur ever again.  

Before my next spanking meet up, I told my friends, K and M, about my long held secret.  I felt that it was particularly important to tell them this time as I was traveling out of state and would be gone for a few days.  I wanted to make sure that someone knew where I was in case anything should go wrong (you know, like getting chopped up and left in the cornfields).  

My friends’ reactions were very different.  As I recall, M was pretty relaxed about the whole thing.  While she voiced some maternal style concern over my travel plans, she was very open-minded to the idea of spanking even though it was not something that particularly interested her.  I remember K’s reaction more clearly.  She had immediate concerns, not only for my safety when meeting up with a stranger far from home as well as while submitting to discipline, but she questioned my intentions.  What was I thinking?  Why would I want this?  Was I doing this as a way of intentionally harming myself? 

I have struggled in the past with self-injuring and so it was quite reasonable to wonder if I was simply finding a way of getting someone else to hurt me for me.  That’s when it got tricky.  I had to try to assure her that it was not my intent at all and that it was something I had craved for a long time and could actually be fun.  Getting hit repeatedly until sore, red, and possibly bruised didn’t sound like much fun to her and if I think about it from a total vanilla’s perspective, it sure does sound more like setting myself up to get hurt than something enjoyable.  I fumbled to find words to explain something that I didn’t understand very well myself.  

I felt I had created a bit of distance between us when we parted ways that day.   K was upset and concerned, and in all honesty, I was too plus I felt terribly guilty.  K is an amazing friend though and did some online research about the spanking community when she got home.  She was reassured by the friendliness and normalcy she found on the various forums.  She also found accounts of others’ experiences that did a far better job of explaining the desire than I did in rambling to her that afternoon.  

In the end, K and M were both cautiously supportive.  They wished me well but reserved the right to be concerned for my well-being.  Exactly what I was looking for in a safety.  

By now, K and M are fairly comfortable with my interest in spanking.  I can chat with them about my work at PB or other things that are going on in my little world of spanking, though I choose not to go into any great detail about my actual spankings unless I’m asked (I don’t want to make them uncomfortable).  They’ll playfully tease me about my passion and the fact that my husband spanks me, and while I’ll blush madly, it’s all in good fun.

But even though I really lucked out and have two great friends who are incredibly understanding, I don’t share my secret with all of my vanilla acquaintances.  I’m not sure how many would be so accepting and I’d rather not tempt fate.  

Have you ever confided in a vanilla friend or if not, considered doing so?  How would you explain your interest?   

I’ve just posted an interview I did with the fabulous Ms. Beverly Bacci on Pixie’s Previews. 

You’ve been doing more scenes lately as a spanker. You are a natural and seem to be enjoying the role. Is topping a new development or have you always had the interest?

Topping is a relatively new development, as I have recently felt comfortable enough with my more dominant side. This change has become apparent to me in my day-to-day life as well, in that I’m more comfortable expressing myself and taking the bull by the horns, so to speak.

Do you find it’s an advantage having been on the receiving end of a spanking many times before? Do you feel that it gives you a better idea of how to exact a firm spanking or do you perhaps end up sympathizing with the spankee knowing how painful it can be?

Definately an advantage. I got a feel for positioning, rhythm, etc when I was on the receiving end. I know that there is no ONE RIGHT WAY to spank, but it was certainly helpful for me to get a feel for the topping styles of a variety of spankers.

CLICK TO READ MORE 

To read the interview in its entirety, head on over to Pixie’s Previews.  And of course you can find lots more of Beverly, both on the giving and receiving end of discipline, in the members’ section of Punished Brats.

 And click here for a preview of Beverly’s latest hairbrush spanking scene, Nanny Cam, coming to the members’ section Friday, June 5th.